Mad Girl's Manifesto

seriously? seriously?

2012-02-10T11:22:00.004-06:00

Ugh!!! What the fuck is wrong with men? I finally meet someone on match.com who seems like they may have bachelor potential and once again I'm shown that men only think about one thing...sex. It seemed like we had a lot in common and he had a good sense of humor. I sent him an e-mail with my number and he immediately texts me. I thought that was pretty cool, but within the first few texts he referred to me as sexy and used the word naughty. This is a warning sign I've come to know too well.

I've been here before and I don't want to do it any more. I like sex just as much as the next person, but I truly want to find someone who likes me, not the idea of having sex with me. Even if I did agree to go on a date with this guy I would probably find it difficult enforcing my no sex on the first date rule because he has already put sex on the table.

I've exchanged a few texts with him over the last few days, but I just got one asking me if I wanted to cum before work....seriously???? I'm choosing to ignore his future texts. Actually, I really want to text him back and tell him what a slime ball he is and how it's so freaking unfair that he is treating me this way. I'm frustrated at this whole situation and starting to think that there are no decent guys out there.

the list

2012-02-01T18:12:00.001-06:00

I spend a lot of time thinking about boys. I'm starting to think that I am actually a 15 year old girl stuck in a 32 year old woman's body. I've accomplished so much in my life so far and don't have any regrets about the path I took. However, I really want a boyfriend.

For years I was set on the independent woman track and, in some ways, I'm still there. I have a good job, great friends, am close with my family and have had very little drama in my life thus far. What I'm missing is someone to share my life with. It has always been important for me to stand on my own two feet. I think that every woman should be able to support herself and should not need to depend on a man for support or validation. I still strongly feel this way, but now that I've proven I can take care of myself I sort of want to find someone to take care of me and vice versa. It would nice to come home to someone. To have a support system, a best friend and a lover. Is this asking too much? Is this what my married friends have or at some point do I just need to give up looking for it all and settle?

The idea of 'settling down' frightens me. I firmly believe that people should not compromise and settle down just to be married. However, I've started to doubt this theory. I've been searching for over two years and I'm tired of being disappointed. I feel like I've kissed (and fucked) enough frogs to earn me a prince. Now, I'm sure if I lowered my standards a bit, I could find someone, but that is just not an option. I'm willing to overlook some things that would normally be a turn off (not drinking, facial hair, bad taste in music) if I really like the guy. In the end it is really about how they treat me and make me feel. It's about chemistry beyond the bedroom.

A few days ago I was cleaning off one of my bookshelves and found a journal I kept when I traveled to Mexico in February of 2008. I remember waking up in Guadalajara one morning and turning on the Oprah show. She was talking about finding your soul mate and it got me thinking about what I wanted in a partner. Later that night I went down to the hotel bar, ordered some tequila and wrote this list:

make me smile -and keep it there
sense of adventure
can travel together without me wanting to kill him
foodie
family ties (but not a mama's boy)
can hold his booze. knows what a good beer is (no swill)
someone I can be still with
loves that I'm neurotic

I feel like I need to draft a letter a la Jane and Michal Banks in Mary Poppins. Maybe if I put it out there he will magically appear on my doorstep.

Mad Girl gets left with the tab

2012-01-25T12:13:00.003-06:00

I seem to be stuck in a 'relationship' with B21. I like him on a platonic level, but feel absolutely no chemistry or connection to him. This was so clear last night when we had a date. He came over after work and we drank a few beers and caught up on our lives. We then had sex which was okay (it's very rare that I every dislike sex), but really lacked a certain pizazz that I look for in a partner. He's not B10, that's for sure, but he's adequate and I do enjoy myself.

Anyway, after that we actually headed out for dinner. It was nice to get out for a change and I thought that maybe this would mix things up a bit. We had a nice dinner at Duke of Perth. However, here's where it really went wrong. When the check came I had fully intended on splitting it, but he says: I'll get our drinks at the next bar. What the fuck? He totally left me with the bill and now that I think about it, I'm a bit pissed. Most guys will insist on paying or will at least pay their share. What is he trying to pull? So, I paid the $50 tab and let him buy me a Guinness at the next bar....totally not fair. If he knew he was going to leave me with the tab the least he could have done is not order two $8 beers! What a douche. Speaking about money makes me uncomfortable and I hate to be petty, but I'm in no financial shape to picking up this guy's tab all the time.

Afterwards we went back to my place and watched a movie while cuddling on the couch. Having the companionship was nice and he even tucked me into bed when I fell asleep. He's a nice guy, but not what I'm looking for. The part that really bothers me is that I am still with him because I want some sort of companionship in my life, but I'm also still looking. I think I am being unfair to him and have to tell him that I don't see us going anywhere and he should just move on or he can keep me as a friend/hook up if he wants.

This is not how I wanted to treat guys. I never intended to lead him on. A part of me was holding out and hoping that things would change and I would grow to really like him. However, the bottom line is that I'm looking for something more. I need that guy who can put a smile on my face, make me feel special, take care of my emotional and physical needs. I'm looking for chemistry and I'm not going to settle. Now the question is weather I just 'dump' him over text or tell him in person next time we hang out. I want to do it face to face, but I'm afraid I'll just have sex with him instead. Decisions, decisions.

full disclosure...i'm lazy

2012-01-20T20:35:00.002-06:00

I'm pretty sure that the pile of laundry in my bedroom is going to grow legs and attack me in the middle of the night. I planned to come home tonight after work and do a few loads. It's not like doing laundry is that big of a task. My freaking laundry room is only down one flight of stairs. However, it started snowing -a lot. So, I decided that would be a reasonable excuse to avoid laundry. Instead, I promptly put on my PJs and poured myself a glass of wine when I got home. I somehow found the energy to do a load of dishes and make tacos, but my efforts stopped there. What the hell is wrong with me?

I just can't seem to be a responsible adult and clean up after myself. I let dishes pile up, laundry go unwashed and, for fucks sake, my Christmas tree and Christmas decorations are still up! I am a pro when it comes to avoiding housework and putting of doctors appointments.

I'd like to say that I'm going to change these bad habits, but that would be a lie. It's just not who I am. Some people are neat and responsible. Me, I'm big ball of chaos.

back in action

2012-01-17T06:22:00.005-06:00

I really need to commit to one blog a week. I know it's been a while, but when you work retail during the holidays life as you know it stops. I'm slowly regaining my life and figured I should start posting again. So here's a quick update:

Bachelors: I'm still 'seeing' B21, but I use that word loosely because we basically just hook up every 2 weeks. All he wants to do is have sex or sext me, which is fine by me. However, I am looking for something more. I want to be with someone who will take me out from time to time. I know that it's totally my fault that I've ended up in a another dead end 'relationship'. So, I decided to get serious and join Match.com (for those of you counting I've been through eharmony, zoosk, plenty of fish and ok cupid). It seems like this is the site to join if you are serious about being in a relationship. I've been on for 3 weeks and have emailed 6 guys with no responses yet. I've been hit up by two weirdos and am getting pretty annoyed with the site. 90% of the men on there either have kids or definitely want them. This sucks. I'm just looking for a nice guy to spend my time with who doesn't need to procreate...is that so hard?

Maid of Honor: It seems I was born to be a kick ass bridesmaid. I'm the MOH in my sisters wedding which is going to be on New Year's Eve this year. Expect lots of blogs about wedding stuff. I'm totally stoked about this and my sis and I have about 80% of the wedding planned already. I'm awesome at planning and strategic thinking and really organized when it comes to events like this. I should have been an event planner.

So this is a quick update on where I am right now. Hopefully 2012 is way better than 2011. I'd like less stress at work, no deaths in the family, and a Bachelor to call my own.

B21....meh

2011-12-06T08:05:00.003-06:00

I'm starting to think that B21 is just not what I'm looking for. He's actually starting to irritate me a bit. I came to this conclusion this morning when I awoke from a restless nights sleep and found that he was sleeping in the middle of the bed while I had a tiny sliver on the edge. I'm used to having my bed to myself, but I never seemed to have a problem with B10 who is actually a much bigger man than B21. I actually found myself faking a sore throat this morning just so I didn't have to give him a blow job.

Anyway, it's not just that. I think B21 has a lot of qualities that I've been looking for. He's funny, he cooks and he enjoys sex. However, something just isn't clicking. He messages me every day (mostly about sex) and this is starting to get annoying. Also, he doesn't bring his own condoms. If I am springing for birth control I believe a guy should supply the condoms. Of course I keep some on hand, but we went through my box yesterday and this morning he reminded me to buy condoms. Listen, buddy if you are going to jump my bones every 5 minutes then you need to supply the condoms.

Also, we haven't gone out since our first date. He only comes to my place and always spends the night because it's close to work. This is fine every now and then, but I need my space and sometimes i just want to go out to dinner and come home alone.

I know this is a lot of complaining and I should just be happy to have someone in my life, but I just can't settle. It's not my style. I know how I want to feel when I'm in a relationship and this is not it. I really wish I could combine the best qualities of B10 and B19 into one man. Now the question is what's my next step? I can probably avoid him for the next few weeks and blame the holidays, but I have to own up to this at some point. Do I text him or wait until we hang out next?

maybe spinsterhood is not for me

2011-11-30T17:39:00.004-06:00

I saw Bachelor #21 three times in one week. That's one sleepover at his place and two at mine. How is it that one guy (B21) can be so eager to spend time with me and other ones (B19) would never even invite me to their place after dating for four freakin months? We've exchanged back rubs, played our favorite music for each other (sadly, he does not have the same taste in music as me) and have had lots of really decent sex. Is this what it was supposed to be like with B19?

The really stupid thing is that I miss the fun that B19 and I had. He really made me laugh and I was extremely happy with him. Sure, he turned out to be a total D-bag that was clearly not into sex as much as I was, but other then that, the time we had together was pretty good. B21 is pretty awesome and clearly not afraid to get close to me. He's cooked for me, taught me to infuse vodka and has certainly kept me satisfied, but can he make me giggle? I guess time will tell.

B21 has a lot of characteristics I look for in a guy. He's funny (studied improv), he knows his way around a kitchen and a woman's anatomy and he's a drinker. I'm comfortable around him and he makes me laugh. It's only been a week, but I'm just waiting for the deal breaker. I hate being this way, but I haven't really had the best streak with the bachelors. I can't understand why.

I'm funny, smart and pretty open when it comes to what I want. I have control of my life, but am willing to give up some of the control in the bedroom. I have the sex drive of a 16 year old boy, can cook, am cultured and can make a mean cocktail. So why hasn't some guy gotten smart enough and snatched me up yet? What if the one for me is actually herding polar bears somewhere in Canada? Or maybe we don't even speak the same language? What if he's right here in Chicago and we just haven't crossed paths yet? What if I am or have dated him already? Jesus...can't a single gal get a break?

skipping Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T15:23:00.006-06:00

I work retail. This means I am denied my holidays. There is no peace and joy for me. November and December are my most intense months and the holidays leave me with no good will to spread. This year I am trying something different. I'm skipping Thanksgiving. This is the first time in my entire life (with the exception of the year I lived in England) that I have not been with my family for Thanksgiving. I'll be honest. I'm not bummed.

The last thing I want to do is commute home an hour and a half each way only to spend my day in a cramped trailer with my my mom's family. Sure, I'd love to see my mom, dad and sis, but I get to see them any time I want. I've always been a family person, but what's the use in going home for Thanksgiving if I can't really enjoy myself? My family situation isn't the same. I hate imposing on my sis and her fiance for a place to spend the night every time I go home and I hate that I don't have my family to itself since my grandma is now living with my parents. So this year I'm doing Thanksgiving my way.

Obviously this involves a few trips to Trader Joe's, enough food for four and tons of booze. Here's what my feast consisted of:

Butternut Squash Soup
Parker House Rolls
Cranberry Sauce
Maple Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Green Bean Casserole
Truffle Mashed Potatoes (with a little bacon grease added in for good measure)
Corn with Chile Powder
Turkey Gravy
Turkey Breast with Stuffing
and Pumpkin Pie for dessert

I got to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Dog Show today. All in all, a pretty good day...now on to the holiday chaos. Please keep me in your thoughts and remeber to be kind to your retail workers because we put up with a lot of shit this time of year.

Bachelor #21 and some policy violations

2011-11-20T13:51:00.004-06:00

Good news is that Bachelor #21 might be a keeper. Bad news is that I broke my dating policy and slept with him. However, I did get morning sex out of the deal so it really is all good. B21 and I met on OKC and exchanged a few e-mails. We met up last night for a few beers and I knew that he was someone I would go on more dates with. As you know, I can't stand it when the conversation doesn't flow, especially on a first date. I refuse to continue to date someone without a personality. Good news is that this guy makes the cut. We share a passion for food and drink which is a huge bonus for me. No more dating the non-drinker - lesson learned with B19.

So we went to two bars and drank a lot of beers. After the last bar we decided to get pizza. I really should have called it a night and stuck to my policy. Instead we got pizza (he also offered to make pizza for me!!!) and went to his apartment. Okay, so I bend one policy, but surely I could control myself and not have sex on the first date. Turns out that I can't. So we had sex and then I was going to head home, but he was kind enough to supply me with a contact case and solution so I could spend the night. Clearly, he wasn't going to kick me to the curb and actually wanted me to stay. I really like being in bed with a guy and I guess I was craving some cuddle time so I stayed the night. So far B21 really has B19 beat. He drinks, had me over to his apartment on the first date and took all of his clothes off for me. Yep, I think we will keep this one.

So at around 7:30 this morning I woke up very hungover and thought I would just make my way home, but I was rewarded with morning sex. Morning sex is the best. So at around 8am I found myself doing the walk of shame to Dunkin Donuts where I stood behind a 5 year old who took 20 minutes to make a decision on a donut. I did procure some donut holes and a coffee before catching a cab back to my place.

And it doesn't end there. I promptly received a text from him. This is good because it means he's not going to play the waiting game with me. I hate having to wait 2-3 days to talk after a date. We exchanged some texts which soon turned in to full on sexting. Finally a guy with personality, sex drive and boyfriend potential. Yay me!

Mad Girl's favorite things

2011-11-08T16:23:00.012-06:00

I have to admit that I loved it when Oprah did her favorite things show. Sadly, we won't get that this year, but I've decided to compile a list of some of my favorite things. Hopefully, they will inspire you this gift giving season.

I adore oils and vinegars and my favorite place to get both is Old Town Oil. I usually do some of my x-mas shopping here every year. This year I'm really excited to try their Chocolate Balsamic Vinegar. Imagine what this would taste like over fresh strawberries or drizzled over bacon wrapped dates?

Whenever I go to Old Town Oil I always stop at the Spice House. Everyone eats and you are bound to find something for those hard to shop for people in here. It's also a great place to shop for your foodie friends. This year I might give out their Hot Cocoa Mix to deserving boys and girls. I also think that their Chicago Neighborhood Spice boxes make a great gift for out of town guests.

Maybe you need to spice up your eggnog or hot cocoa this holiday season. Then may I suggest checking out Koval Distillery? Koval is a local boutique distillery that I just adore. Their liqueurs are great for cocktails or just as an aperitif. I think the coffee liqueur will go well in a nice warm winter cocktail.

If you are looking for something a little more relaxing then I am utterly in love with Aveda Comforting Tea. It's a little pricey, by it's oh so yummy and just what the doctor ordered after a long hard day of work.

Now for something you can't eat or drink, but is still delicious. Have you ever had a Paddy Wax candle? I think their Library Collection is the perfect gift for the bibliophile in your life. Haven't you ever wanted to have you house smell like Jane Austen or Oscar Wilde?

I always love to do some holiday shopping at MoJo Spa. The owner, Amanda, makes all of her own products and everyone here is super friendly. I think the cake soaps make a nice gift with a bit of whimsy. I am also in love with their chocolate body scub so this gift set would make my day.

My other favorite place of body products is The Body Shop. I think the peppermint footcare line makes a great gift for that special aunt, grandma or anyone who is on their feet all day. I think this shave set makes a nice gift for the man (or gay boyfriend) in your life.

I just got my first pair of City Slips. These are adorable little flats that fold up into a bag. The idea is that you can wear your fancy shoes to a party and then slip out of them and put on these comfortable flats. I think these would make a great bridesmaid gift as well.

I caught my hairdresser wearing these uber adorable glitter Toms and had to have some. I haven't bought them yet, but I think they will really jazz up my basic black wardrobe. We'll see how they hold up on the sales floor.

And if I had a special bachelor in my life I might consider getting this or this :) Bet you Oprah would never have either of these on her favorites list.

If you are looking for entertainment then I think that A Very She & Him Christmas CD and the Lion King DVD would be on the top of my must have list. However, a museum membership is another great idea. I recently joined the Art Institute and have a been a member of the Chicago History Museum for years. These make great gifts for anyone.

And for the little ones...I think this vintage Fisher Price Record Player is the way to go.

I'm going to do a whole separate blog on books so stay tuned for that!

sick day

2011-11-07T02:09:00.003-06:00

I do not have the type of job that affords me the luxury of a sick day. Yet, here I am at home using the first sick day in 2 years. Actually, the last time I used any sick time was when I was in the hospital to have my gallbladder removed and before that I think I went home early once after I vomited at work. The worst part about being sick is the guilt of it all. Yesterday I found myself crying in my office because I really needed to not be at work, but I felt bad about leaving and going home sick. I was also slightly afraid to call my boss and let her know.

The sickness started about a week ago with a mild sore throat. I thought I could just take some cough drops and move on. Well, my sore throat got so bad that I found myself popping Ibuprofen like they were candy and barely able to run my store because I was experiencing the worst sore throat ever. I went online to Web MD and it sounded like I might have strep. Fantastic. Just what I needed right now. There was no way I could take time off to get better, my store is already down a manager and today is a big product launch. So I pushed on and sweated (literally) it out. I went from work to my bed for 3 days and finally my body and nerves just couldn't take it anymore. So, I left work early yesterday and went to the Minute Clinic. Turns out it is most likely not strep (still waiting for some more test results) but I am very sick.

The nurse told me to go home and get a lot of rest. Did this mean that I shouldn't go to work the next day? She said that I just needed to rest and curl up on the couch with some movies. She also told me that all the stress of my job was not making me better. I almost laughed in her face. I told her I was scheduled to work the next day and she said I should stay home. The guilt kicked back in. She actually wrote me a note excusing me from work. I contacted my boss letting her know I needed to be off and she just sends me one icy cold reply: ok. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Not a 'feel better' or 'don't worry the store will be okay'. This was not good.

This is the point I've gotten to with my job. I'm miserable and stressed out beyond belief, but feel that I have no options for making this better. I want to be able to take a sick day every now and then and not have it stress me out more because of all the work I'm going to have to catch up on or the fact that I'm adding stress to my management team. I give 110% when I'm at work and when I can only give 50% I feel like I'm failing. I'm unhealthy, have a weakened immune system and my home (it's a disaster) and social life are suffering. I'm just not sure that I see a light at the end of this tunnel. Just like there is not crying in baseball, there are certainly no sick days in retail.

Bachelor #20

2011-10-14T09:41:00.004-05:00

You are probably thinking 'Wow, this girl works fast'. However, I actually met B20 on OKC a while ago. We just never had the chance to meet up. When I updated my profile on Sunday he messaged me and we started back up where we left off. We ended up meeting last night for our first date and I had a really nice time getting out and blowing off some steam. B20 is someone I do want to spend more time around, but I'm just not sure if there is going to be any chemistry.

We decided to meet at a bar in the Ukrainian Village around 9pm. This was so past my bedtime, but I sucked it up and figured I should try to have some fun. Turns out that he had a friend playing in the band so there were a few people he knew there. Everyone was really nice and there was no awkwardness at all. It was kind of loud but we started chatting and found that we had a lot in common.

About halfway into our date he got a little touchy and explained that he was an affectionate person. I just didn't feel very comfortable with it and told him I wasn't really touchy feely. I can be when I get to know a guy, but to start out with I'm a little reserved. He also told me how much he liked me and how cute I was. I was truly flattered by this attention, but it made me uncomfortable because I was not really feeling chemistry towards him, plus I have a hard time taking compliments.

We left the bar and decided to get some food but after that I called it a night. I wanted to be honest with him right there and let him know that I wanted to see him again, but didn't think that this would be anything besides friendship. I really do like him and am going to go out with him again, but the last thing I want to do is lead him on because he seems like a really nice guy.

my dating policy

2011-10-12T18:43:00.002-05:00

I recently read a really good blog post on HelloGiggles.com that was about first dates. It got me thinking that I probably need a dating policy. I'm back on OKC and actually already have a date for tomorrow. However, I think that it's time to apply all I've learned from dating 19 Bachelors and set some guidelines. So, here is my dating policy.

only drinks on a first date and only a few drinks at that. no more getting drunk and smooching boys in bars

no sex on the first date...in fact, no sex until we've dated for a month or at least 5 dates

no invites to my apartment until after we've had 2 dates. this goes for visits to his apartment as well

follow my gut. no compromising early on. if it doesn't feel right then I need to cut my losses and move on.

I'm not sure how well I'll be able to stick to these guidelines, but I'm really going to try to be good about this. The idea is that I find someone who wants to get to know me and genuinely wants to spend time with me. Once that's been established then we can have lots and lots of sex.

down with B19

2011-10-08T09:43:00.002-05:00

B19 and I are no more. I guess I should have seen it coming because he totally forgot (or just ignored) my birthday this week. I wasn't expecting much, but a Happy Birthday text would have been appreciated. Was this my warning sign or was it when he wouldn't invite me to his place or spend the night at mine?

I guess I was just having so much fun with him that I choose to not read too much into any 'signs'. I figured he was just the type of guy who needed more time to get comfortable around me. It came as quite a shock when I went to check my Facebook account last night and I saw that he had posted something on his page that was clearly directed at me.

It was obvious that he read my recent blog, the mean reds, because he actually referred to it in his post. He spoke about me not believing in god and not wanting kids. It was basically a big fuck you message and was probably the most hurtful thing that has ever been directed at me.

At first I was in shock. I went to my kitchen, poured a glass of wine and started chopping veggies for dinner. Then it hit me and I started sobbing. I'm talking, uncontrollable, heaving sobs. How could someone that had once made me so happy make me so miserable? I pulled myself together enough to reach out to my friends for a little comfort. They helped and I knew that it was time to cut B19 loose (as if there would be any other option). I sent him a message on Facebook letting him know I had read his post and thought it was time to move on. I then promptly unfriended him. I still just can't (and probably won't) understand how a grown-ass man could be so cruel. I totally misjudged this one.

a case of the mean reds

2011-10-04T09:30:00.000-05:00

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

I've been in a bit of a funk lately that lead to a case of the mean reds about a week ago. They eventually transitioned to the blues and I feel that now I'm out of my rut. I've got a lot of shit going on in my life right now and in bits and pieces it really wouldn't be that bad, but when it all hits around the same time and is combined with a horrible case of PMS...you get the mean reds.

First off I had scheduled some cleaners to come in and clean my apartment. I was planning this all month and had let certain areas of my apartment get pretty dirty. Well, I get up and wait for the cleaners to arrive and when they are 30 minutes late I call the company and they say they canceled my cleaning appointment! What the fuck! So, on top of wasting an afternoon waiting for these people I'm now in charge of cleaning my apartment. GRRRRR!

So to add to this I got to thinking about B19. I decided to be a big girl and approach the subject of our 'relationship'. I feel strange referring to him as 'the guy I'm dating'. We've been dating for about four months, we are both exclusive and I have not desire to see anyone else. Plus, I really, really like him. Well, that conversation did not go as well as planned. I thought we could come to an agreement to 'go steady' (yep, I'm old). Instead he sort of skirted around the issue and made it clear that I'm just 'the girl he's dating'. Awesomeness.

Well, to top everything off I call my mom and listen to her cry about her relationship with my dad and the strain that moving in with my grandmother after my grandfather's death is putting on their marriage. I've always come for a happy, stable home, but lately home is the last place I want to be. My mom is very unhappy because she is trying to please everyone and feels guilty about my grandma because she is depressed. My grandma doesn't want to be left alone and will even follow you from room to room like a puppy. My parents are free to live the life they used to live and I am starting to resent my grandma big time. I truly don't even want to be around her because she drives me batty. It's just no a good situation and it's only a matter of time until it all blows up.

As you can see, things got a little intense and emotional and hit a boiling point for me. I'm better now, but think I should probably look to get on some sort of medication so I don't break down at work one day and strangle a Lincoln Park housewife.

fall reads

2011-09-18T09:22:00.004-05:00

Yay! Fall is here. This is by far my favorite season. I adore everything from apple cider to pumpkin pie to haunted houses. Also, my b-day is in October so that month has always been a time of celebration for me. Fall also means fall reads. A lot of famous authors put their books out just in time for the holidays. Here are some of the books I've put on my to read list.

Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern - I just started reading this tale of two magicians who are supposed to face off to the death but end of falling in love. Yes, it does seem a little like the Hunger Games plot, but I am enjoying it so far. Also, I could easily see this book being adapted into a Tim Burton movie.

Damned by Chuck Palahniuk - I'm going to give him another chance, but I've been very disappointed by his last few books. This one is about a young girl who overdoses on marijuana (can you do that?), dies and goes to hell.

The Magician King by Lev Grossman - This is actually a follow up to The Magicians. It's getting rave reviews and I know a few people recommended The Magicians to me (telling me it was Harry Potter for adults). However, I have two reliable sources who say that The Magicians blows so I'm going to start with number two and see if it's any better.

The Family Fang by Kevin Wilson - I've been eyeing this book for the past few weeks. It's about a family of performance artists and the effect it takes on their children.

Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick - I adore Hugo Cabret and expect greatness from his new book. Yes, it's a kids book. However, her combines moving narrative and fantastic images to make this a read for all ages.

1Q84 by Haruki Murakami - I haven't read any Murakami, but this one looks really interesting. It looks like this might be a spin on 1984 by Orwell so I'm willing to give it a try.

Momofuku Milk Bar by Christina Tosi - She's the pastry chef for David Chang's Momofuku and I can't wait to see what this book holds - yummy!

Girl in the Kitchen by Stephanie Izard - I am smitten with Izard and so excited that this local Top Chef has a cookbook out now.

....and what was my favorite summer read? I would have to say that Divergent by Veronica Roth was the best of my Summer of Teen Dystopian Reading.

the universe did not want me to do laundry today

2011-09-08T14:57:00.004-05:00

Today the universe did not want me to do laundry. I had the best intentions of doing some laundry and then maybe heading to the lake front to read. I went to withdraw $20 and purchase a roll of quarters from the bank. Turns out that I had insufficient funds. Instead of just transferring the money from my savings I decided that this was a sign - the universe wanted me to go to the lake.

So I came home and packed up a tote consisting of a book (Witches of East End), a peach, some chocolate covered berries, a bottle of water, my ipod and a thermos filled with cheap girly wine. Needles to say, it was a splendid afternoon. It was really windy and a bit chilly, the waters were rough and I was able to just tune out.

I spent the time listening to podcasts and watching the waves crash against the walls of Belmont Harbor. I chugged some wine, read my book and ate my snacks. It was a wonderful way to spend my afternoon and I could have stayed there way longer, but I ran out of wine and it started to rain.

Now I'm back home in my apartment getting a refill on the wine. I think I'm going to disconnect myself from the world and curl up with my book, some brie and some sweet girly wine. This is a perfect way to welcome Fall.

Mad Girl and the abnormal cervix

2011-08-26T15:10:00.004-05:00

Okay, this one is just for the ladies. It involes a vist to the gyno and some very sensitive info about my cervix. Guys, go grab a beer and sit this one out - you'll thank me later.

So I went for my regular check up with my gyno (who is so awesome that I want to make her my BFF - is that weird?) and the results of my pap smear came back abnormal. I really wasn't surprised, if I have an angry vagina then why not have an abnormal cervix? I didn't really know what this meant, but my gyno assured me that it was not cervical cancer, but we would need to get checked out anyway.

I had to schedule an appointment to get a colposcopy which is a test that looks at my lady parts through a lighted magnifying tool. My doc also scraped some cells from my cervix to run some tests on them. I really didn't know what I was up against, but my doc did a fantastic job of explaining everything to me and I wanted to share my experience with you in case you or someone you know is in the same position as I am.

First off, you need to get a check up and pap smear EVERY year...got it? My test came back abnormal and it also turns out I have HPV. Did you know that 80% of us have HPV? There is a huge stigma around it, but chances are you have it. Yes, it's an STI, but my doc explained it like my vagina has a cold and while there is not cure, you can get over it. The part that sucks is that it doesn't show up for men. Why is life so unfair. Anyway, HPV can lead to cancer so it's important to get yourself checked out. Also, maybe the HPV vaccine for young gals isn't such a bad idea...

So I went in this morning for my procedure which was honestly just like a really uncomfortable pap smear. The feet went into stir-ups and my doc put some vinegar like substance in me. This dried out the wall of my cervix and made any abnormal cells turn white. She took a sample of these cells to analyze. The scraping part was uncomfortable and I guess some women experience cramping, but I don't think it was too bad. Besides, my doc and I were talking about mimosas most of the time.

The whole procedure took only about 15 minutes and then my doc handed me a pad and said I'd want to use that because there would be some bleeding later. She also told me to just try and lay around for the rest of the day (I can do that) and avoid sex for a few days (that one is going to be a bit harder to do). I came home and took a long nap and have just been chilling. Really not too bad at all.

Now I have to sit and wait for the results and hope that there is not too much craziness going on in my cervix. I'll let you all know what the outcome is, but in the meantime please do me a favor and go get a check up on your lady bits if you haven't been for a while.

UPDATE: So the good news is that it's not cancer. The bad news is that there may be something there and I need to get Paps done every 6 months. I like my doc and all, but I really need to boost my immune system so I can fight of the frickin cold in my cervix. With a little time and a healthier lifestyle my issue should clear up.

from Bachelor to friend?

2011-08-15T18:32:00.004-05:00

So what gives universe? I spend all these years being single and when I finally do find someone it seems that everyone is interested now! Yesterday I got a call from B15. There wasn't a lot of chemistry with him, but we got along really well. We went on three dates and there was no kiss. After the third date we agreed to meet up again and then he never contacted me.... until yesterday. He said that he had some stuff going on and wanted to see if I was interested in meeting up again. Seriously? What is it with guys? I just don't think I'll ever get why they do shit like this.

Anyway, I texted him back letting him know I was 'involved' with someone, but that I could use a drinking buddy. He seems to be up for that, so it looks like I've found myself a new bar buddy! Let's hear it for making friends. If he's cool with having a platonic friendship then count me in. I've managed to keep in touch with a few of the previous bachelors and I can say that I consider B4, B6 and B10 my friends. Is it wrong to do it like this? I have no desire to be with any of them, but they all possess qualities that I look for in a friend. All of these guys have been there for me at one point and I've been able to have some pretty good times with them, even when sex is not a factor.

blame it on the rain

2011-08-07T17:58:00.003-05:00

There's something almost magical about being tucked away inside my apartment during a rain storm. I get to just laze about and let the summer rain wash everything away outside. I've spent my whole day being totally unmotivated to do anything. I've basically sat around on my ass watching movies and stuffing my face (for the record, leftover coq-au-vin is d-lish). I had a to-do list a mile long, but the mess can wait another day. I managed to do a load of laundry and finally clean all the dishes that had piled up in my kitchen. I feel slightly guilty for not getting more done. I even said I was going to call some long-lost friends and catch up with them, but here I am hiding away from the world. Today I'll blame it on the rain, but what will I blame it on tomorrow?

voulez vouz manger avec moi ce soir?

2011-08-05T10:44:00.012-05:00

I'm cooking dinner for B19 tonight and decided to go with a French theme. I feel that having a theme helps tie everything together. This way you can coordinate food, drink, music and decor to help create the ultimate dinner party. I've been watching a lot of Rocco's Dinner Party on Bravo lately so I've been inspired to throw one of my own. I used to do cocktail parties at my place but haven't done one in a while. My real dream is that one day I'll have a big fancy kitchen, huge dining table, and tons of interesting friends to entertain. A girl can dream.

So here's the run down of tonight

music

Arielle Dombasle

Amelie Soundtrack

Carla Bruni

Prototypes

Paris for Lovers

anything Putumayo

Edith Piaf

menu (recipes below)

French Onion Soup

Coq au Vin

Haricot Vert

Thyme Roasted Fingerling Potatoes

Chocolate Mousse

drink

sparkling limeade

wine (Bordeaux)

Let's get cooking! This is a very simple menu to make. It may look like a lot of work and sound fancy, but you will be surprised at what went into this.

APPETIZER

I wasn't sure what to do with this and thought that instead of making something I'd just see what Trader Joe's had to offer. I started with a box of bacon wrapped scallops, but then I found frozen French Onion Soup! Bingo. I know I could have made this, but I figured that with everything else I was making I wouldn't have time to pull off homemade soup too. I also have a really good zucchini curry soup that I love to make and would be perfect for summer...I just now remembered that.

ENTREE

Coq au Vin (or Chicken in wine) is a delicious, comforting dish. There are may recipes out there, but I'm using one from Nigella Lawson (I also referenced my copy of Joy of Cooking and they are pretty similar). I always like to put my own touches on recipes though so what you find below isn't the exact same one that Nigella uses.

In a saucepan combine:
2.5 cups red wine (I'm using a Bordeaux)
1 celery stalk
1 quartered carrot (I actually bought a pre-made mirepoix at TJ's - it's way easier)
2 cloves garlic
1 sprig thyme
a few sprigs parsley
3 peppercorns
3 bay leaves
bring to a boil, reduce heat and let bubble away until reduced by half. Strain and reserve.

In a casserole
heat 1 tsp olive oil
brown 6 skinned chicken thighs
season with salt and pepper as you are browning

remove chicken and add
3 shallots minced (you can use onion from the mirepoix for this as well, but i like the taste of shallots)
diced pancetta (or Canadian or Irish bacon) to your liking (the recipe calls for 2oz)
cook over medium heat for 5 min

add 6 oz sliced button mushrooms
6oz pearl onions pealed (for the life of me I could not find these so was stuck with onions from a jar)
cook for 3 min or so
sprinkle with a tablespoon of flour
stir and cook over low heat for 3 minutes
gradually stir in 1 and 1/4 cup chicken stock and reserved wine

place chicken thighs back in
cover and cook gently for 45 min to a hour until chicken has just begun to get loose on the bones
heat 3 tbs of brandy in a ladle over a low flame and tilt until the brandy ignites. Pour into casserole and stir

It should be done, but if it's too runny just remove the chicken and raise the heat and reduce to thicken little more.
sprinkle with parsley
serve with crusty baguette

SIDES

Thyme roasted potatoes

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
in a saucepan
heat 2 tsp minced thyme in EVOO until fragrant and sizzling
remove from heat and let steep for 20 minutes - strain and toss potatoes in olive oil and roast for 30-40 minutes. I like to add a sprig of thyme to the bake sheet as well
season with salt and pepper

haricot vert

saute up some extra onion from the mirepoix, bacon (I'm using applewood smoked bacon) and haricot vert until tender

DESSERT

chocolate mousse

sprinkle 1 packet of gelatin over 2tbs of cold water and let stand for 2 minutes (I couldn't find gelatin at the store so I used pectin...we'll see how this turns out) add 1/4th a cup of boiling water and stir until gelatin is completely dissolved

mix 1 cup sugar and 1/2 cup cocoa in a large bowl add 2 cups of whipping cream and 2 tsp vanilla extract. beat until mixture is stiff. pour in gelatin mixture and beat until well blended.

spoon into dessert dishes and refrigerate at least 30min. garnish with strawberries.

Mad Girl is a slob

2011-08-01T12:02:00.003-05:00

I am not a very clean person. I've often commented on how I live with 3 frat boys who keep my apartment in a constant state of mess, but in reality it's just me. Blame it on laziness, procrastination, or Bravo TV - I'm a slob. I've actually never been a neat and orderly person. I remeber fights with my mom about cleaning my room or making my bed. To this day I refuse to make my bed. Why bother?

I've been trying to be better at this, but housework isn't a lot of fun and I'm often too tired to pick up after myself. Right now I have dishes piling up, my floors need to be cleaned, and there are various piles of clutter building up around the house. How do clean people stay clean? Are there people who actually enjoy cleaning?

I did notice that while I was on staycation for a week things stayed pretty tidy around here. Maybe I just don't have the time and/or energy to maintain an orderly home life. Someone also told me that Libras are bad housekeepers and I believe them. I can't imagine what it would be like if I had a house and kids to take care of as well. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a house husband one day...

just friends

2011-07-29T08:57:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago I had my last 'visit' with B10. I think we both knew it would eventually come to this and it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be because I'm so into B19. We are still going to stay friends, which is fine with me because I need some more city friends. Plus I do enjoy B10's company and the way he's straighforward with me. I told B10 a little about B19 and he said something that really hit me. He advised me not to become one of those girls who only hangs out with her boyfriend. OMG.....I realized I have no more city friends. All the friends I did have either moved away or did something to really hurt me and in turn I ended that friendship. This is a whole other long, tragic blog that I will get to one day.

I considered sending out an e-mail begging some of my friends to move to Chicago just so I wouldn't end up as 'that girl'. I thought dating was tough, but actually, finding new friends is not that easy either. I have a few co-workers that are pretty cool, but I'd like to meet some people outside work. So where does one start making friends?

Chicago Chocolate Tour

2011-07-23T21:14:00.010-05:00

Ready for dessert? My friend and I went on a fantastic tour with Chicago Chocolate Tours. I really didn't know what to expect, but I was quite impressed with the tour and would go on one again. They offer different tours, but we chose the one of the Gold Coast and Mag Mile. Our tour guide, Courtney, was really good. She had good public speaking skills and a great personality. Our first stop was Teuscher Chocolate which is a Swiss Chocolatier. We got to sample their truffle filled with a Dom Perignon cream. It was amazing and made me want to eat a dozen more.

After this we headed on to stop two, More Cupcakes. I do enjoy a good cupcake, but I hate all these trendy cupcake places that have opened and decided to charge $8 for a cupcake. We got to try their basic chocolate cupcake and could have purchased more, but I just wasn't in the mood for paying through the nose for a bacon cupcake. The interior is small and the cupcakes are displayed like works of art. I guess if you live in the Gold Coast you can afford to have cupcakes from here.

Next stop was Hendrickx Belgian Bread Crafter. We got to go behind the scenes here and were welcomed into their back room where we got to see how croissants are made and got a mini-lecture on Belgian bread and chocolate from the owner. We got to sample their white chocolate bread, dark chocolate cake and some regular Belgian peasant bread. It was all very good.

When we were done here we went to the uber famous Sarah's Pastries and Candies.
Which is on Oak Street (sort of like or Rodeo Drive) and is frequented by Lisa Ling, Martha Stewart and Jim Belushi. Sarah is a local gal so you gotta appreciate that. She also does wedding cakes which I'm sure I'll never be able to afford.

Our final stop was Argo tea where we tried their delicious Chocolate Mint Tea. This is one of my faves, but if you like white chocolate then I suggest their red velvet drink. Just as an FYI they are a Chicago based company and also see Vosges chocolate bars made with their teas.

This is a really fun activities for a ladies/girl day out or a fun idea of something to do with an out of town guest. Tours were about $40, but I think it was well worth the money.

sushi and shaved ice

2011-07-23T18:55:00.004-05:00

After my adventures in Pilsen yesterday I spent a delightful evening in the company of B19. I am not pursing any other bachelors at the moment and this includes letting B10 know that we are now just friends. It's a big shift for me, but I feel good about where things are heading with B19. However, that's now why I'm writing....I've got some foodie stuff for you.

So after a long, hot afternoon in Pilsen my chariot arrived and whisked me away to Butterfly Sushi Bar and Thai Cuisine. This type of place is right up my alley and I was pretty hungry after being out in the hot sun all day. Clearly the two tacos I had earlier were not enough to fill me up. I have mixed feelings about this place. The sushi was good, but not something I'd go out of my way for. However, it's the service and ambiance that just rubbed me the wrong way. Let's start with the food. We ordered the Thai escargot as an appetizer. This was delicious, but I am a huge fan of escargot so it doesn't take much to win me over. I did something really embarrassing though and ate most of the escargot myself. B19 had never had escargot and he tried one and then when he went for more I had devoured the entire plate...whoops. We ended up getting four different sushi rolls which were all very good, but nothing really blew me away or made me think that i needed to come back to this place for sushi. It's just good quality sushi so if you live in the area then you should go here, but I suggest getting take out.

The first thing that really annoyed me is the fact that the tables were so close together. You actually had to more your table if someone wanted to get out at the table next to you. I hate this because who wants to sit so close to the table next to you that you hear every word of their conversation? This just made for a very uncomfortable environment. The other thing that bothered me is the fact that they brought our sushi out before we were even done with our appetizer. They did the same with the table next to us where they brought their sushi and main course out at the same time. I was very annoyed that they were blatantly trying to turn the tables really fast and had absolutely no respect for the diners who wanted to enjoy their meal. I could understand this a little more if it was lunch time, but it was 8pm on a Friday night.

After our dinner we headed back to my hood and went to Cloud 9. I've been here a few times and always liked it, but this was by far my best trip. They had green tea flavored shaved ice this time. I adore anything green tea and especially like green tea ice cream. I think the first time I had it I was at the Japan 'exhibit' in Epcot center. So of course I had to go for this. I decided on a mango drizzle and then to be extra Asian I got the red bean topping. Now, before you freak out this wasn't a baked bean topping (although it looked like it), but the sweet red beans that you find in a lot of Chinese sweets. It was all a winning combination and I will certainly be back for it again sometime soon.

Are you full yet? Well save room for dessert because my next blog is going to be about my chocolate tour....

Pilsen adventure

2011-07-22T20:00:00.001-05:00

I wanted to explore Pilsen since I moved to Chicago, but for some reason I never made the trip. I'm quite taken with Mexican food and culture so it baffles me that I haven't visited Chicago's 'Mexican neighborhood'. Yesterday I finally had my Pilsen adventure. I started my afternoon with some tacos. I read some pretty good reviews about Birreria Reyes de Ocotlan which is a small little joint that specializes in goat. They make birria, which is a goat stew. I've had this stew before in Mexico and since it was 100 degrees out I decided to pass on that and went for the tacos. Their menu is simple (basically goat and a few types of tacos), but there were definitely some items that were new to me (cows head, goat liver, tongue). I opted for 2 tacos and I'm glad I did two instead of three because these were quite filling. I got the chiva (goat) and cabeza (cows head).

Let's talk about the cows head first. This taco is filled with various parts of the cow's tender head meat (brains, cheek, eyes, tongue), but if no one told you what you were eating you would just think it's the tenderest, juiciest beef taco you've ever had. If you can get past the idea of what you are eating, or at least convince yourself that it's something else, then you are in for a treat. The goat taco was also pretty good, but I've had goat a lot before so this wasn't as new and exciting as the cabeza. These tacos were packed full or flavor and were the type that needed two tortillas. I paid about $6 for the two tacos and a horchata - not a bad deal at all. The only complaint that I would have is that the air didn't quite seem to be working at full speed so on a hot day it was not as comfortable as I would have liked.

After my lunch I walked up to the National Museum of Mexican Art . I was quite impressed with this museum for a few reasons. The museum is free, but I left a $5 donation because I was so impressed with what they had done. The museum is not huge, but has a fantastic permanent collection and 3 rooms of rotating exhibits. What I like most about this museum is it had personality. There was this an temporary exhibition of art from Benito Huerta that really caught my eye. It's only there until the end of August so I suggest you check that out. The museum also had a really nice gift shop.

After art in a gallery I took in some art on the street. Pilsen is known for its murals that depict scenes from the Mexican community. They are often political or social commentaries. I found quite a few along 18th street, but I'm sure there are many more to see. Here are a few of the murals I visited:

If you want more info on the exact location of these murals then just e-mail me and I'll send you that info.

why Mad Girl might be a little crazy (or my trip to MSI and Hyde Park in 100 degree heat)

2011-07-21T16:30:00.009-05:00

So maybe it is hotter than hell out there, but I wasn't going to let the heat scare me away from doing something fun on my vacation. I've never been to Hyde Park and thought that I would make a stop off at the Museum of Science and Industry to see the Smart House and then wander around the University of Chicago. Of course, I choose to do this when the heat index is about 105 degrees.

I'm a member at the MSI and wanted to see the Smart House for a while. This is a house that is totally sustainable. It's a modular home that is furnished with recycled materials, creates its own power and is wired with all sorts of cool gadgets. You have to pay a bit extra to do this, but I recommend doing so. They take you on a tour of the house and then let you roam around the gardens afterwards. I decided to keep it green by purchasing a bobble which is a water bottle with a built in filter. It costs about $15 but think about how much you will save by not buying bottled water.

After the MSI I walked to the U of C campus which is only about a 10 minute walk away, but in the heat it felt like forever. I made my way down Midway Plaisance (site of the World's Fair) and walked up Woodlawn to the Robie House. This is one of Frank Lloyd Wright's houses and as a member of the National Trust I got a 50% discount (yes, I'm a member of everything). This tour was nice, but not nearly as impressive as the Frank Lloyd Wright home and studio in Oak Park, which I highly recommend.

I also took a nice stroll through the UIC campus which has a really nice 'place of higher learning' feel to it - I think it was the ivy climbing up the sides of brick buildings. I was wandering through the campus when I came across the Flirty Cupcakes food truck! Score! Of course I had to have one of these much tweeted cupcakes so I got the Curious George which was a chocolate banana cupcake with a salted carmel frosting. It was very tasty, but not worth $3.75.

I knew I wanted to eat somewhere in Hyde Park, but I really couldn't find too many good suggestions nearby. I guess that Lincoln Park and Lakeview have spoiled me with their selection of restaurants. I decided I'd give this place called The Big Easy a try. It's a Cajun joint that got mixed reviews on Yelp, but Cajun sounded really good to me. Well I make my way (in 100 degree heat) to the restaurant and it turns out they are closed for lunch. I checked their hours before I went and make sure they'd be open, but when I got there there was a handwritten note taped to the door stating that they wouldn't be open until dinner. UGHHHH! That's annoying as all fuck.

I turned those lemons to lemonade thought by heading home and getting a manicure and then ordering some BBQ from The Pork Shoppe.

a nice summer meal

2011-07-20T15:08:00.005-05:00

I am not Julia Child, but I do like to get fancy in the kitchen every now and then. Here is a simple summer meal you can prepare for someone special. I'm not much for sticking to a recipe so these are just guidelines.

caprese salad on a stick

assemble on a toothpick: mozzarella cheese, basil, some sort of tiny tomatoes

dip in balsamic

gazpacho

cover about 2 cups crustless day old bread in cold water and soak for 15 minutes

boil 3 cloves of garlic in a small sauce pan for about 3 minutes. drain.

in blender: 3 cloves garlic. bread (squeeze extra liquid). 2 tsp salt, 2lb beefsteak tomatoes, 1 four inch cucumber (peeled), a few dashers of white wine vinegar and a few dashes of sherry vinegar. You can also add a sliced green pepper, but I don't like those so I used some Creole seasoning I got from the Spice House.

puree until smooth

with machine running pour in 1/2 cup EVOO ( actually added a little blood orange olive oil to the mix) in a slow, steady stream and blend until emulsified.

blend in 1 cup of cold water and season with salt and pepper.

refrigerate until chilled (at least 3 hours or up to 1 day)

sauteed shitake mushrooms and spinach

saute 6 cloves garlic and one shallot in some olive oil

add sliced shitake mushrooms and saute for about 10 min

add spinach and saute for another 5 min

truffle mashed potatoes

boil potatoes in chicken broth until tender (about 10 min)

drain, but reserve some of the liquid

mash in chicken broth, half and half, butter, truffle oil and pepper to your liking

seared scallops

head a skillet on high and add 1tsp butter and 1tsp veg oil

when skillet is hot add scallops - DO NOT touch/move/or otherwise disturb them

after 2 minutes check to see if the bottom of the scallop has a nice carmel crusted color

once you have the sear then flip them and cook for about 1 more minute. sides should still be translucent and soft

fruit with balsamic

cut up peaches, berries, strawberries...whatever you have

drizzle with balsamic (I'm going to use a pomegranate balsamic)

pair with...

prosecco

a nice rose (yes, it's okay to drink these)

saison (a French country ale)

blood orange Italian soda

Mad Girl's little bag of tricks

2011-07-19T14:26:00.003-05:00

Sometimes a gal finds herself sleeping over at a guy's place. You never know when this can happen and sometimes you don't plan for it. I put together my own little kit for just such an occasion because I like making my walk of shame just a little more glamorous.

hair tie and some bobby pins for taming that morning after hair

condoms

hand and face wipes

aspirin

Colgate wisp mini-brush

contact case and solution

feminine wipes (SweetSpot makes some awesome on-the-go-wippettes, but you can also find individualy packaged wipes in the feminine care isle. I just got some from Playtex).

compact

lip gloss

Harry Potter and the end of an era

2011-07-18T22:15:00.003-05:00

Today I went to see the last Harry Potter movie. This was a bittersweet moment for me. I've read all the books, attended midnight book release parties and have seen every movie in the theatres (except Deathly Hallows part 1). It's so strange to think that it's all over. It's the end of an era.

Harry Potter brought me back to that childhood excitement of reading. I quickly got sucked into J.K. Rowling's world and would stay up late just to finish the books. What's the last book that you stayed up past your bedtime to read?

bizarre foods

2011-07-17T20:34:00.005-05:00

Where did I discover my love of exotic eating? You would think that a girl who refuses to eat salads or lunch meat would certainly avoid eating such delicacies as grasshopper but it seems I've got a bit of the Andrew Zimmern bug inside me. Last Friday B19 and I went to Chicago's Dog House (www.chicagosdog.com) where I enjoyed a delicious alligator sausage. The sausage was served with a sweet chili sauce and caramelized onions. I will certainly return to this place to check out their other exotic creations.

In the spirit of adventurous eating here's a few other things that I've eaten that might make some other people squirm:

sweetbreads - Not on the top of my list of favorites, but if you are going to try them then I suggest going to The Publican.
fois gras - I know this is the trendy thing to eat, but I really wasn't that impressed.
bulls tongue - had this sliced with gravy when I was in China
grasshopper - had some chopped up as an appetizer at a Mexican restaurant in Chicago
caterpillar -deep fried and crunchy. Had these at Sticky Rice.
ant egg omelet - also had this at Sticky Rice. You really can't taste the eggs though.
rabbit- schezuan rabbit in China. Yummy.
elk - in a tamale from the Green City Market
ostrich- at Rockit Bar and Grill. ostrich is really lean and much better than beef.
various cow parts -in a steaming bowl of pho at Tank Noodles. I honestly can't identify all that i ate, but I'm pretty sure there was stomach, intestine and some cartilage in there.
pigs feet - in delicious croquette form at Topolobampo.
blood sausage - I've had this a few times mostly as part of an Irish/English breakfast.
beggars chicken - a whole chicken (feathers and all) cooked in a clay pot until it implodes on itself. Had this in China.
fat - not sure how else to describe this, but also had this in China where it was a delicacy.
bison - on a burger at Wilde.
escargot- I guess some people would object to eating snails, but the ones at Bistro Zinc are my favorite.

what is it with guys and communication?

2011-07-09T09:23:00.003-05:00

So last night at 11:34pm: Hi, this is B17. Sorry I've been out of touch. I as busy and then had family over. Want to watch some tv or something? Are u working this weekend?

Hmmm...now I really did like B17. We went on two dates and I have a very nice time with him. However, he stopped messaging me and then sent me a message on OKC a few weeks ago which I replied to and told him he could just text me and we could hang out sometime. I think it's been over a month since I've seen him. I get being busy, but why couldn't he have just told me that upfront. To me this seems like he really wasn't into me that much and had a bunch of other things going on. He's sitting alone on a Friday night and is horny so he decides to text me. Not sure how I feel.

So, I have 3 options:

Text him back and make plans to hang out next week.

Text him back and let him know I'm involved with someone else (which is sort of true)

Don't text him at all.

Please weigh in with you advice.

summer reading list

2011-07-06T11:54:00.009-05:00

I really have no idea why I don't write about books more often. It's how I've made my lively-hood for the past 10 years so I do have a few things to say about the subject. Today I'm going to share some of the titles on my reading list as well as a few of my recommendations for summer reads.

Teen Dystopian Novels are the new Vampire Romance. Blame it on the Hunger Games (haven't read it? stop reading this blog and go get a copy...I'll wait) but this theme is all the rage. Here are a few that I've read or plan to read this summer (which shall also be known as The Summer I Read Way Too Many Teen Dystopian Novels)

Wither by Lauren DeStefano - I devoured this one. Imagine a future where all diseases have been cured, but girls die at 20 and boys die at 25. The main character is a very strong girl (no weak love-lorn, vampire dating wimp) who is kidnapped and sold into a marriage. It reminded me a lot of A Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood. Very spooky.

Divergent by Veronica Roth. Dystopian Chicago. 16 year olds tested for aptitude. Choices to be made. A main character with a cute shortened nick name.

Matched by Allie Condie. Another Mormon writes a book I'm sure to be obsessed with. With names like Xander and Cassia and big brother watching this is sure to make my heart race.

Also on my summer reading list...

Beaten, Seared and Sauced: On Becoming a Chef at the Culinary Institute of America by Jonathan Dixon. Because I'm clearly not going to be attending the CIA any time soon.

Try This: Traveling the Globe Without Leaving the Table by Danyelle Freeman. I love my food writing. Freeman has a website called Restaurant Girl and was a guest judge on Top Chef Masters.

The Map of Time by Felix J.Palma. The plot reminds me a bit of The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde, but this book has been a bestseller overseas so I'm going to give it a shot.

Last Call: The Rise and Fall of Prohibition by Daniel Okrent. Because I'm an educated drunk.

Demon Fish: Travels Through the Hidden World of Sharks by Juliet Elperin. There is a secret shark week fan buried deep inside of me.

Witches of East End (Beauchamp Family Book Series #1). Family of witches? Count me in!

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. This books is a mix of fiction and photography. Seems like it might be a darker, more twisted play on Series of Unfortunate Events.

Sweet Valley Confidential by Francine Pascal. That right, Elizabeth and Jessica all grown up!!!

good date/bad date

2011-07-06T11:28:00.002-05:00

On Sunday I had a really nice date with Bachelor #19. We were supposed to meet at Wilde because he really wanted to try their bison burger. Well, we get there and the place is closed due to power outage. The mythical bison burger is turning into some sort of a joke with us. We keep talking about it, but never get a chance to eat it. Anyway, I suggest we head to my standby, Duke of Perth. As we get closer to the Duke he suggests the Mexican restaurant across the street (can't remember the damn name of that place though). I've never been, but will never pass up a chance to have a margarita. So we go in and take a seat on their delightful little patio. The setting is perfect, the food is awesome (carnitas and carne asada!!) and the 'ritas are spot on. B19 ordered everything is Spanish, which was a bit of a turn on. He made sure I had plenty of margaritas and shared his carne asada with me. It was a really pleasant meal which he insisted on paying for....he's a gentleman like that.

After our meal we head to the gelato place by my house. I get some sort of crazy gelato combination and he orders vanilla and strawberry...hmmm. I know this is going to sound strange, but I was a bit disappointed in his choice. Just hope he isn't vanilla in the bedroom :). We got our gelato and i suggested a walk to the lake front. We made our way to Belmont Harbor and things got a little more flirtations. As we walked to the lakefront we came across a trapeze school! Very cool and I think I might try that this summer. We watched for a bit and then head to the lake where we just chilled out and enjoyed the view.

I'm really enjoying spending time with B19. We've been on 3 dates with no sex (go me!), but I'm pleased to report that he is a good kisser. He even has that very kissable lower lip, just like B10. The other strange thing he does is make sure that I walk on the inside of the sidewalk (also like B10). However, that's where the comparisons end (well except they are both Mexican). It seems that B19 is way more willing to treat me like a potential girlfriend. Am I just playing my cards right this time? Maybe there is something to be said about holding off of sex for a bit. Don't know if I can wait much longer, but it's nice to know that we can go out and have a good time without sex.

Now for the bad date. I met Bachelor #18 for drinks last night. I had to cancel on him last week because I just felt like poo and really wasn't very excited about going out last night either, but I'm not a girl who cancels plans and we were going to meet at Delilah's so it couldn't be that bad. Now B18 is a pretty cool guy, but there wasn't a lot of chemistry on our first date -just a pleasent time. However, I did feel that a second date was in order. I'm not sure if it was my mood or what, but there things just felt awkward last night. There were uncomfortable silences and the bar didn't have the air on so I was feeling a little nauseous after a few beers. I think that about an hour in I was ready to go, but tried to tough it out. The date lasted about and hour and a half and i had to apologize and head home. I just really wasn't feeling it with him and feel sort of bad about it. Maybe, it's the weather, maybe it B19 or maybe I'm just done with random dates.

Mad Girl is a little tired of dating

2011-07-03T08:57:00.003-05:00

I've just about had enough of dating. I can't believe that I've been on dating sites for 2 years and have gone through 19 Bachelors. I thought that at some point I'd meet a guy worth keeping around. Actually, I think I met a few worth keeping around. However, it seems that after a few dates they always tend to drop off the face of the earth. This makes me wonder what I'mdoing wrong...is it me? is it them? am I meant to be single forever?

I'm in a bit of a salty mood right now because I was supposed to have a date with B10 last night and I was really looking forward to seeing him because it's been over two weeks and as you all know - I like B10 a lot. Well at about 7:30 last night I text him and here's what unfolds:

Me: So what's the plan for tonight?

B10: No plan :( my car's fucked right now, I have to take it to the shop tomorrow. I'm fucking freaked out that it's gonna cost me a lot.

Me: :( that sucks. Want me to come down to your next of the woods?

B10: Nah, I'm at the bar with the new roommate right now lamenting my fucking life.

Me: Um...ok

B10: I know, I'm sorry.

Now, a few things about this really piss me off. First, this really isn't a B10 sort of move. He's actually a really good guy and hasn't ever pulled shit like this. Also, why couldn't he have texted me that afternoon to let me know we weren't going to hang out? It's really fucking hard to make other plans at the last minute and I had a glorious Saturday night free with a Sunday off! This is a rare thing in retail and now it's wasted.

I'm just getting tired of all the dating. I want to find someone who's constant in my life. I'm about ready to give up and just accept my inevitable state of spinsterhood. Guess I have to drag my ass to the gym now because at least I won't be a fat lonely spinster.

bachelor demographics

2011-07-02T09:20:00.002-05:00

As I was traveling home from visiting Bachelor #10 who lives way the fuck on the Southside of Chicago I got to thinking about the demographics of my Bachelors. The analytical side of me likes a good chart or spreadsheet so I figured I'd just start with breaking down some info on my bachelors. Not sure what this says about me but you'll notice some trends.

name race age neighborhood job

Bachelor#1/white/38/Lincoln Square/Lawyer

Bachelor #2/white/34/Logan Square/Sound Tech

B3/???/31/Lakeview/IT

B4/Palestinian and Black/28/suburbs/student and soccer coach

B5/creature of middle earth/34/Loop/works in a dungeon

B6/Mexican/36/Lakeview/writer

B7/white/31/near O'Hare airport/construction worker

B8/white/33/Uptown/teacher

B9/white/32/Lincoln Park/psychologist

B10/Mexican/31/Bridgeport/IT

B11/Colombian/33/Andersonville/IT

B12/white/38/Lakeview/design

B13/white/34/Rogers Park/teacher

B14/Indian/31/Uptown/IT

B15/white/40/Lakeview/musician

B16/Indian/33/River North/marketing

B17/white/40/Andersonville/web design

B18/white/31/Wicker Park/IT

B19/Mexican/33/somewhere on the south side/graphic design

B20/AA/32/Roscoe Village/Apple employee

B21/white/31/Lincoln Square/banking

Bachelor #18 and Bachelor #19

2011-06-23T20:58:00.003-05:00

Okay, it's been a while and I have so much to say but am way too tired to say it. I did a training session with a new trainer today and my limbs feel like jelly. It was a really good workout and I like my trainer. He's gay, a Virgo and a dancer; so clearly we hit it off. I am going to make more of an effort to work out and loose some of this weight I've been gaining. Goal #1: fit comfortably back into my size 14s.

But enough about that...on to the Bachelors! I went on a first date with Bachelor#18 about two weeks ago. He's a very charming guy from Virginia who likes to drink Jameson on the rocks. I had a really nice time with him and would certainly go out with him again, but I'm not sure if there is chemistry. I do like the way he said my name with a slight Southern accent. Definitely worth a second date. Fun fact about him: His dad is a preacher.

Tonight I went on my first date with Bachelor #19. I was originally drawn to him because he did remind me a bit of B10. I figured that since I liked B10 so much I should stick with the same formula and maybe I'd find a guy who actually wanted to make an honest woman out of me. We went to Kuma's (I had the High on Fire burger) so I did break my 'just drinks' on a first date rule. It was a really great first date. I was really comfortable with him and neither of us was at a loss for words. He has a great sense of humor and he's Mexican, which is totally my MO.

So it looks like some of these guys may be promising. Bachelor #17 is acting all flaky after I slept with him -my bad. What is it about guys that turns them into a different person after sex? This shit is getting really annoying.

Bachelor #17

2011-06-03T11:04:00.004-05:00

Finally! A really good first date. I actually wasn't too excited about the date with Bachelor #17 because I've been in a dating funk. I think that my crush on B10 and and desire to make him my boyfriend has gotten in the way of my dating other guys. I had exchanged a few e-mails with B17, but nothing that really wowed me. We decided to meet at the Duke of Perth which is always good for a first date because it's close and I don't feel I'm going out of my way to be disappointed by the date (please refer to Bachelor #16). (I also have to add that I had spent the previous night at B10's watching episodes of Louis C.K. and having my brains fucked out at various points in the night. Needless to say I was a little tired.)

So, I made my way to Duke of Perth and was not at all into the idea of going on a date. I really just wanted to go home and put my pjs on and watch TV. I got there a few minutes early and B17 was 7 minutes late. I was going to give him 5 more minutes and then head home. B17 showed up and apologized for being late stating that he forgot the name of the place and almost went into a bar across the street. I was willing to overlook that because he did seem genuine.

B17 was way cuter in real life then in his pictures. He's 40, but looks like he's in his early 30's. He has dazzling blue eyes and is really good looking in that dashing gay man sort of way. Why do I always find myself on dates with guys who seem to be a little gay? He was wearing a tight black button down shirt that also struck me as something a gay man would wear to Sidetracks, but I was willing to overlook all of this because I do believe my gay-dar is broken these days and it turns out that these type of men are usually good in bed (ie. Bachelor #6)

We started talking and I instantly realized that this was going to be a really decent date. There weren't any awkward moments and I found that i was quite comfortable with him. What was even cooler is that he also seemed into me! I still don't quite understand it when a guy is into me, but he actually told me that he was having a really good time. He even asked to kiss me mid date. This gave me some flashbacks to my first date with B12 (remember beer, bacon and sex?). Mid first date kisses are always the best. However, I was a little hesitant to like this guy and tried really hard to play it cool.

Anyway, B17 made it to a 4 beer date on a school night which I informed him was a very good sign. He even went so far as to secure the second date. I really think that if I said I wanted to see him the next night he would have agreed to that. At the end of night he walked me home and tried to pull me down a dark alley to make out. However, I stood my ground and resisted. I was very proud of myself because six months ago I was would have easily dragged him home and slept with him. So, we get to my apartment and he says he has to use the restroom (yeah right). I let him come up, but have already decided that there will not be any funny business.

He came up to my apartment and looked around...he did try to lead me towards an indiscretion in the bedroom, but I pulled away. We had a very nice make out session by my hallway entrance where I somehow became braless, but I pulled away and kicked him out. How's that for self control?

B17 certainly has potential, but I'm trying really hard to not get excited about him because I've been let down too often in the past. I am going to try and wait until we make it past three dates before I really start liking him. Now the question is...do I sleep with him on date 2 or wait a bit longer?

Bachelor #16

2011-06-03T10:44:00.005-05:00

I really just wanted to write about Bachelor #17, but figured I should also give Bachelor #16 his due cred.

B16 and I met up a few weeks ago. I hadn't paid as much attention to his profile because I was communicating with a lot of guys at the same time. He invited me on a date and I accepted. From the look of his picture he looked like a hipster boy with big black geeky glasses. He suggested we meet at Hub 51 for our first date and this got me thinking that he might have been a douchebag.

Hub 51 is the place to be seen and I knew that I would not fit in. They have a dress code and this is where all the well to do trendy 20 somethings hang out and drink Sophia out of cans with straws. So, I put on my cute little black dress and did my best to try to blend in. I showed up first, but he arrived a little bit later. Imagine my surprise when I saw that he was Indian. WTF! I really need to do a better job of pre-screening. I was certainly not attracted to him. Besides being Indian, he also had a little bit of a 'stach. Ugh! We had our drink and chatted a bit. He seemed nice enough, but I knew this probably wouldn't last past the first date.

He suggested we go get some sushi so we left Hub 51 and he tried to locate somewhere nearby on his IPhone. When he wasn't having much luck I suggested we go to the Purple Pig - a small plates place that focuses on pork. He agreed and we headed up the street. Once we were there and sitting at the table looking at the menu he mentioned that he didn't usually eat pork. This would have been nice to know before we sat down. Also, with a name like Purple Pig you would think he would have asked me about the food before we arrived. So the date was off to an awkward start. He took a long time to decide on what to order and seemed to be a very picky person. He tasted 3 different wines before he settled on one. At this point I should have just asked the waitress to leave the bottle. He also didn't know what half the stuff on the menu was so he total lost foodie cred with me. We had some decent conversation though. The one thing that really bothered me was when he tried to tell me about myself. At one point we were talking about relationships and he told me that I wasn't a relationship person and I shouldn't try to be one. WTF!

What type of guy would say this to a girl who is clearly out there trying to have a relationship. What a douche.

May can suck it

2011-05-14T23:54:00.002-05:00

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, but things have not been going well with me lately and I don't want to be a whiny bitch (well,not too much). So here's the break down of things that have been making my life miserable:

Work: short staffed - high stress- spend most days wanting to crawl under my desk and cry

Work-out: not only have I sucked at going to the gym, but I've gained weight and am now feeling like Fatty McFatterson.

Dating: no luck. Still sweet on B10 and wishing he felt as sweet on me.

Family: my grandfather is going to pass away any day now and I can't get the time away from work to go see him.

So, once I get out of this slump I promise to write more. I just went on a date with B16 so I do have some stories to report. Just bear with me.

Fit Girl week 3...fail

2011-04-10T20:41:00.004-05:00

Okay, so this is where it starts to become a battle. I really blew it last week. I only got to the gym once. I stuck with my food challenge of drinking more water though. So what stood in my way? My social life. I over booked myself and left little time for exercise. When I did have the time I was battling a hangover. (more to come on my adventures in Oak Park and my Pub Crawl) I really need to get better at finding that balance between work, play and exercise. So, for this next week I will make it to the gym 3 days. This will be tougher because I am home in Indiana visiting my family for 3 days this week. I am also not going to eat after 8pm. This is a big one for me because I love late night snacking. However, I know it's bad for me and I really need to start shedding some pounds. I have to stay the course not matter how much this sucks donkey balls.

B15 + B10 + B6 = Mad Girl is in a funk

2011-04-04T11:18:00.005-05:00

Bachelor #15 and I had our third date last night. There was no kiss at the end of the date and I'm 75% sure there is no chemistry. I think I may have just made another friend. We have a good time with each other and I do enjoy his company, but I just don't think I'm feeling much more. Maybe we should kiss and then I'll know a little more. Sometimes it is in the kiss. Maybe we should sleep together. What if the sex is amazing and that is what ignites our relationship? I'm just so confused about what step to take next, but I do know I don't want to play games. So maybe on our next date I just need to come clean and tell him how I'm feeling. What is really frustrating about all of this is that I keep coming back to Bachelor #10. I really like him, but I don't want to ruin what we have (what is it that we have anyway?) by pushing for a relationship when I'm pretty sure that is not what he wants right now. I don't want to be the girl who tries to change the rules of the game mid-play. To make everything more confusing I had a quick hook-up with Bachelor #6 this week. We exchanged a few dirty texts and he stopped by for a some very quick sex because he had somewhere to be afterwards. It was just as good as it used to be, but I was somehow left unfulfilled. I'm not sure if I just needed the conversation that leads up to the sex or if I'm just not that into B6 anymore. Either way, I'm in some sort of dating funk. I'm exchanging e-mails with about 5 guys on OKC, but none have really impressed me yet. Maybe if I meet a few of them in person that will change. I hope I get out of this funk soon.

Fit Girl week 2

2011-04-04T11:07:00.004-05:00

I made my goal of working out for 3 days a week for at least 45 minutes. It was not easy. After about 30 minutes I get antsy and want to get everything over with. However, I do feel fantastic afterwards and I have been sleeping better. I'm going to keep trying to set goals for myself each week and I also want to set some sort of food related goal because I think that is also the key to weight loss and a healthier life. I hope I can start to break some of my bad eating habits. I was reading about heart rates because I was curious about where I needed to be. I've been getting up to 155 in my workouts and this makes me feel like my heart is going to explode. I did a litle reseach that told me I need to maintain my ideal heart rate for 30 minutes to maximize the benifits of my work out. Well, it turns out my ideal heart rate is 189! Looks like I have some serious work to do. So, my first short term goal is to get my heart rate to 189. I'm going to start slow and hopefully build towards this because I know that I wont be able to get there right away. For this week I'm setting a goal of working out 3 days and maintaining a 155 heart rate for 30 minutes. I'm also making a point of consuming more water this week. I'm thinking about 60 oz a day should be attainable. I've got a new water bottle that is 24 oz so it will be easy for me to measure my progress. I'm also going to reach out to my trainer and try to set up a session for next week sometime. Hopefully, she can give me some pointers and help set me on the right track.

Fit Girl week 1

2011-03-27T10:27:00.006-05:00

Last week I set a goal of working out 3 times. Pretty simple and I'm happy to say I met that goal. Working out does really make me feel better and give me a bit more energy. On the days I open at work it's pretty easy to pop next door for a work out. One the days I'm off or closing I go to the Bally's by my house. This also puts me in close proximity to a grocery store so I find that I can pop in and pick up some produce on my way home. I've been able to keep more fresh fruits and veg around. I make it a goal to only shop the perimeter of the store because that's where the freshest stuff is. Actually, yesterday I bought a package of frisee salad. I detest salads and have never learned to love them. I still don't like them, but I figured I could try to choke down a small amount in a the name of health. I made a small container to bring to work and mixed my own salad dressing of blood orange olive oil and pomegranate balsamic. It was okay, but not something I'm ever going to look forward to. I paired it withs some carrot sticks and cup of chicken noodle soup. So for this week I'm still going to goal myself at a minimum of 3 days, but I'm also going to up my workout time to at least 45 minutes. I figure that I can get that done with a combo of elliptical and bike. I also got an Ipod shuffle last week and made a fantastic work out mix. This has made my work outs more enjoyable. Wish me luck on week 2 of my Fit Girl challenge.

get in shape girl

2011-03-19T10:21:00.003-05:00

I was laying in bed this morning trying to make a deal with myself. I knew I couldn't avoid the gym forever, but I was a little frightened to go back there after my intense work out on Wednesday. So, I told myself that if it was after 9:15am I would not go work out and just stay in bed and read. I slowly opened one eye and without my glasses on it looked like I was looking at a 9...score. I reached for my glasses and looked at the alarm clock again. 8:05...damn it!

So I got my ass out of bed and got ready for my work out. This was my first time going to the Ballys by my house. This one was supposed to be bigger and nice and it was. They also have a pool that has a good view of the city. I hauled my ass down there and committed myself to 30 minutes. 20 on the bike and 10 on the elliptical. I am proud to say that I went for a whole 15 minutes on the elliptical :) That's a 35 minute work out and I felt great afterwards.

I can now say I feel much better about this whole gym thing. Plus I was thinking about the potential to meet men there. I think that really happens and if a guy is willing to hit on me when I'm sweaty and have no make up on then he is clearly going to be impressed with my cuter made-up side. The only complaint I have about today's work out is the stupid trixie who was on the elliptical next to me and thought that it was okay to talk loudly on her cell phone while she worked out. I hope that's not a normal occurrence because I don't want to have to take my shoe off and beat down bitches like that.

After my workout I treated myself to a shot of wheat grass (what does that stuff do anyway?) and an apples and greens smoothie from Jamba Juice. I then went to the grocery store and bought some fruits and veggies making sure to shop the perimeters of the store.

Now that I've got some motivation I'm going to start setting short term goals. I realize that my goal of working our 3-4 days a week for 45 minutes to an hour may not be realistic for me right now. So for this week I'm goaling myself on 3 trips to the gym where I spend 30-45 minutes on bikes and/or elliptical. We will start small and just focus on cardio for now. I'm also going to cancel my trainer appointment for the week so I can just focus on not having a heart attack. For the next few weeks I'm going to try to post my workout goals on here in hopes I feel obligated to live up to the deal. I've also told myself that at the beginning of each month I will reward myself for working out and invest in more workout gear, gyms shoes, an ipod, etc. Wish me luck.

wild times

2011-03-18T23:32:00.003-05:00

another one from the vault

September 22, 2001

My two male roommates (from Istanbul and India) are wild. We seem to have a constant stream of foreign men in and out of our house. This can be a blessing and curse sometimes. They are really into partitying. We had a huge party last night and we plan to do the same tonight. I hope they don't plan on doing this every night because I need my beauty sleep.

Last night they got pretty loud and in the middle of the party I hear a knock on the door. I opened the front door and I'm pretty sure a giant cloud of pot smoke wafted out. There on my doorstep where 2 police officers -I nearly shat myself. I was pretty sure they were going to ship me back to the States. However, they just came into the house and knocked on the guys' doors and asked them to be quiet. Gotta love England.

I also think one of my roommates, Agnes, made out (or maybe fucked) one or both of our male roommates last night and I'm sure this will only lead to drama. This is her first time away from her family and she's really lonely. She's decided to deal with her new found freedom by getting really drunk and throwing herself all over every man at the party. I did as much as I could for her, but she's a big girl and I can't be her mom. Well, that's it for the excitement in my life.

MadGirl

MadGirl nearly goes into cardiac arrest

2011-03-16T19:53:00.003-05:00

You may have noticed that about a week ago hell froze over. That's because I marched my ass into the Ballys next door to my work and got a membership. I didn't want to, but I know that i had to. As most of you know, I am not what you would call 'fit'. I like to eat and I do enjoy my curves. However, my hedonistic diet of food and drink and rising stress levels at work have driven me to do at least one thing good for body.

Today I had my first workout with a trainer. I signed up for a small training package because I knew that I would need someone to show me the ropes and keep me motivated. I was expecting to get someone who would show me how to use the equipment, help me figure out what I should be doing and for how long and then maybe show me how to stretch. However, what I got was a workout from hell that almost put me into cardiac arrest.

I was partnered with a very attractive trainer (tall, black and handsome) who told me that he was a professional rugby trainer. At this point I should have run in the other direction, but i followed. I guess the joke was on him when he discovered that I couldn't even do a sit up. He tried to start me out with some elaborate exercises and quickly discovered that I had no stamina and no idea what the hell I was doing. I was a little ticked because I was not expecting a boot camp work out and while my trainer was nice I really started to despise exercise and was pretty sure that my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Great training if I was getting ready to try out for the women's rugby team.

At the end of our session my trainer suggested that i do the elliptical for 30 minutes a day. Seriously? Did he not see my fat ass or notice the fact that I almost passed out on him? I'm going to stick with this workout thing, but on my own terms. I don't want to hate working out and need to start with baby steps. My goal is to go to the gym3-4 times a week. Maybe 20 minutes of the bike and 15 on the elliptical. I'll probably work some resistance training in there as well.

For those of you who work out what's your advice? How did you start? What worked for you? How do you stay motivated? How often do you work out? HELP!!!! I need to go from Mad Girl to Fit Girl.

Bachelor #15

2011-03-10T23:50:00.003-06:00

I feel like I'm going through a dating dry spell. Right now I've only got #10 making regular guest appearances. However, I have high hopes for Bachelor #15. Let's see if he can 1) make it past 3 dates 4) is good in bed. My wishes are quite simple these days.

I met B15 on OkCupid and he immediately impressed me with references to Pulp - I was smitten. We exchanged a few e-mails where I found out that he was a vegetarian and really into music. He actually called me last week and we had a very nice phone conversation and decided we would meet for a drink sometime soon.

Last night we met at Duke of Perth and after 5 hours of excellent conversation, 5 beers and one order of fried mac n'cheese I can safely say that this is a guy I could really like. Turns our he is a musician, which is actually a bit of a turn off. However, I'm going to be open to this and it seems that he isn't a starving artist. He's 40, went to school at Valparaiso University (right by my home town) and burnt me a CD of a Smith concert. However, what really won me over was the fact that we share a mutual hatred of children and the parents that produce them. I feel that good things can come of this....

Oh, and in other news: I joined a gym today. That's right, time to get motivated and give my mind a body some much needed exercise. We'll see how long I last.

gluttony and lust

2011-03-06T09:56:00.005-06:00

I am a sinner. I try to stay away from the really big sins, but I'm pretty sure that Gluttony and Lush were both on the plate for me this week and I do believe I got punished for both.

Let's start with Gluttony. It's Mardi Gras season so I figured I should stop by Heaven on Seven for some New Orleans cuisine. I met my GBF (gay boy friend) there after work and had my mind set on gumbo, oysters, and a few hurricanes. I've eaten there many times and have tried a lot of items on the menu. There is a certain item that I've always had my eye on. It's called 'Jimmy Feed Me' and is a tasting of 7 items prepared by the chef for $35. I decided to give it a try last night. I've had tasting menus before and they are usually small bites of food specially selected by the chef to showcase their culinary ability. I figured I could easily handle 7 courses....I was wrong. The portions started off small for the first 2 rounds and i was moving along at a nice pace...then the entrees arrived and I can assure you they were close to regular size entrees. Holy crap! I felt like I was going to explode by the end of my meal. It was sort of like that that scene in European Vacation where Audrey falls asleep on the plane and dreams about being stuffed with food until she explodes. Let me give you a run down of what I consumed:

fried green tomato: this is a classic and one of my favorite things to order here.
sampling of gumbo and turtle soup with a jalapeno corn muffin on the side: I adore the gumbo and had never tried the turtle soup which was equally fantastic.
blackened tilapia with a crab cake on the side
voodoo enchilada: came with a special voodoo sauce made with fruit juices and spices. the portion was enough for two people and this is where i started to get full
scallop with braised oxtail: one of my favorite items of the night. the scallop oxtail combo is always a winner.
bbq salmon: I'm normally not a huge salmon eater, but this was pretty yummy (maybe a little bit fishy) with the BBQ sauce
beef tips: I thought I was going to burst by this point, but I kept consuming. I think they tasted good, but I was deep into a food coma at this point.

And if this all wasn't enough the waitress then set the dessert menu down and said I could pick anything wanted. I went with the pecan pie which was warm and gooey and only managed 3 bites of it. So I do have to say that this was quite a deal, but bring your appetite because the portions are not 'tasting' size.

And now a little about Lust. I had 3 decent dates with Bachelor 14 and found out that he was not the best kisser. However, against my better judgement an the advice of my GBF I had B14 over for cocktails. I won't bore you with all the details (those will be given out freely over drinks). However, I will say that I imagine that this is what sex with an awkward 16 year old boy would be like. I suspect that he may even have been a virgin because at least that would explain the poor performance. I'm usually the type of gal that enjoys all kinds of sex, but I actually found myself laying on my bed with B14 on top of me and thinking that this was certainly the wost sex ever. Lesson learned.

the art of seduction

2011-03-01T19:42:00.005-06:00

Tonight I will be taking advantage of Bachelor#14. I realize that I could probably serve him beer and wear my pjs and I would probably still get the same end result, but I like to set the mood nonetheless. So let me give you a quick run down of what I've put together this evening...

Setting: My apartment is cleaner than it has been in a while. Hell, I even made my bed. I have a bunch of mood lighting going and some candles burning -just a few not too many. It's comfortable, but doesn't scream 'brothel'. It says sex tonight if you play your cards right, but only after you impress me with your wit.

Music: I've got the CDs in the player in this order: Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs/ French Kicks/ Jarvis Cocker/ Raphel Sadiq/ Interpol. All good make-out music.

Scent: I recently started burning incense again, but it's not overpowering. He will not be walking into a college dorm room. The scent is light and seductive.

Me: Minimal make-up. Kept my colors natural with a little black eyeliner. My hair is inspired by Reese Witherspoon's Oscar do and is pulled up in a high pony tale. I am waring a pair of dark jeans and a black shirt that accents my boobs, but hides my belly. I finished the outfit off with some cherry earrings. Underneath I've got on matching bra and panties in black lace and silk.

The drinks: Tonight we are going with rum. I've picked a caipirinha, which is a simple mix of cachaca, lime and sugar and then we are going to follow up with a little something I came up with that I have yet to name. It's a shot of dark rum mixed with a half shot of cherry herring and a half shot of cointreau I added the juice of half a lime and shook with ice. I bought some fancy new bitters so I added a few drops of that as well. It's tasty.

UPDATE: Okay B14 just left...Worst. Sex. Ever. too shell shocked to write more, but I will update later.

So it's almost time for B14 to show up. I'll post an update later and let you know how it all went.

a quick update

2011-02-25T10:29:00.005-06:00

I realize that I haven't written in a while, but nothing terribly exciting has been happening and I've been stressed out with work. I think I'm in that winter slump and really wish that I had planned an escape to somewhere warm in February.

You'll be sad to hear that Bachelor #12 has fallen off the face of the earth. Why do guys do this? I thought we were really hitting it off, but I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks (when he canceled a date because he was sick). Apparently he does not like eating good food, having stimulating conversations and getting laid. His loss.

Things have been going well with Bachelor #10. He stopped by after work the other day and he looked so adorable all dressed up in a blue button down shirt and dress pants. He was actually going to pick me up from work, but got delayed. I've never had a guy pick me up from work before, but I like that idea. I'm quite fond of Bachelor #10. He treats me well, is fun to be around and I feel like I can be myself. He's also pretty straight forward and doesn't lead a girl on- he says what he means.

Now there is also Bachelor #14 who I am proud to say that I have not had sex with yet. We've been on 3 dates and I learned that the key is to stay out of my neighborhood and far away from my apartment. As soon as I bring a guy here it's like I can't control myself and must have sex with them. That being said....B14 is going to come over for cocktails on Tuesday night. Inviting a guy over for cocktails is my way of saying 'we should fuck'. Well, I guess that doesn't' apply with my GBF(gay boyfriend), but otherwise that seems to be a trend with me.

B14 and I met at Hopleaf last Saturday night. We drank a lot of beers and did a lot of talking. I had to work the next day so couldn't stay out too late. We left the bar and he enticed me with the promise of tacos. I'm a sucker for late night Mexican food so of course I went along with the idea. After some tacos he walked me up the street a bit and you could tell he was trying to get me to stay out (aka have sex). We kissed underneath the El tracks in a seedy part of Uptown. Not the best kisser. A little too stiff and not really much of a spark. However, I like the guy and we'll see what happens when I have him over. Hope he screws better than he kisses.

And as for my other adventures that do not have to do with Bachelors....I went on a really neat tour of the Theatre District with the Chicago Architecture Foundation. There really is a lot of history in that area, too bad most of the theatres have been torn down since than. The highlight was a behind the scenes tour of the Chicago Theatre. I actually got to stand on the stage and go backstage where all the performers have signed the wall. This is a tradition started with Frank Sinatra. It was all very cool.

I also went on a pub crawl with the Chicago History Museum. This one was a Mardi Gras Theme and I somehow broke my rule of no mixing and had prosecco, rum based drinks and beer. Ugh! I'm getting too old for that. Nevertheless, I went out with co-worker and we had a blast. It's nice to find a new drinking buddy.

The Gesture

2011-02-13T13:21:00.004-06:00

Last week I was reading US Weekly and decided to read my love horoscope. This is something I rarely do, but what I found really hit home:

You will have a lot of amorous opportunities as well as a deep desire to
settle with just one person. You will find yourself in a pickle.

I am pretty certain that I am in the middle of said pickle. Here' the deal. I'm dating 3 guys right now and about to add 2 more. I have 2 of my old play partners wanting to reconnect as well. This could potentially put me in a position of dating 7 guys at once. Now some of these guys are just for sex (Bachelor 4 and 6), others I'm quite fond of (Bachelors 10 and 12) and then there's the potential of the new guys.

I really consider Bachelor #12 boyfriend material but he is not making enough of an effort to see me. I'd like to see him weekly at this point, maybe even more, but it seems like we only meet up every 2 weeks or so. I'm clearly not on top of his priority list. What I'm really looking for a guy who is willing to make the Gesture.

I want someone who wants to be with me. I want a guy who will come to me and say that they don't want to date other girls - only me and they want me to do the same. I want to be wanted. I want a guy who is willing to fight for me.

Bachelor #14

2011-02-12T11:21:00.003-06:00

I had a very nice date with Bachelor #14. There weren't sparks or anything, but he was certainly good company. We met on OkCupid where we started talking about traveling experiences. I love a guy who has a sense of adventure and wants to get out and see the world. We only exchanged a few e-mails and then decided to meet up at the Bar on Buena this past week.

He was running late which is a pet peeve of mine, but once he showed up I was happy to see that he was cuter in person, well dressed and smelled good. The conversation was good and there weren't any awkward moments. What I really like about him is his accent, he's Indian, and there just something about that accent on a good looking guy that I find irresistible. At the end of the night we hugged, but I think he may have been going in for a kiss. I'm trying really hard to be a good girl and behave myself until we've had a few dates. For some reason I just can't seem to stop at a kiss. It's like I have no will power.

We agreed to meet for a second date. I'm not sure what we will do, but I know I need to keep him away from my apartment because if there is chemistry on the second date the last thing I want to do is invite him back to my place...that always leads to sex. I just don't understand why I have zero self control around my Bachelors, but that's a whole other blog.

Mad Girl lives next door to a Eurotrash bitch

2011-02-11T02:42:00.005-06:00

Well I was going to post about my date with Bachelor #14, but I think I have something a little more interesting to talk about. Bachelor #10 is laying in my bed as I write this. I was supposed to hang out with Bachelor #12 tonight, but he's sick and canceled. Luckily B10 was willing to come over and keep me company. We had lovely evening of Philly Cheese steaks and watching Man vs Food. So around 10 we end up in the bedroom having sex. We are really getting into things and all of a sudden I hear my neighbor scream: 'I can hear you' followed by some laughing and I think some said 'ride em cowboy'. What the Fuck! Talk about ruining the moment.

The more I think of this the more pissed off I get. I was having a really nice time (and no I wasn't that loud) and then she totally threw off my concentration. I listen to that piece of Euroslut trash bring guys home from the bars at 4am and I never once utter a peep about it. Sometimes it wakes me up on a work night, but I let them do their business. Who the fuck does she think she is? When you live in an apartment with thin walls you are bound to hear something. It's not like I am bringing someone home to fuck every night. I just feel that what she did was out of line, but what can I do about it? Maybe she's just jealous because she NEVER seems to have guys over who are willing to fuck her while sober. Grrrr.....

What's your opinion on this? If you heard your neighbor having sex would you feel the need to add you two cents? Should I go next door and tell her to mind her own business? I've lived next to her for years and have put up with her playing obnoxious music. Once she go to hooked on that song by James Blunt, "You Beautiful" that she would play it over and over when she woke up at 8am. It woke me up and annoyed me, but I didn't pound the wall and tell her to shut the fuck up. I dealt with it. Next time that bitch is having sex I'm going to blare some sort of Christian station and see how easy it is to orgasm then.

Snowmageddon 2011

2011-02-02T11:39:00.009-06:00

I'm reporting to you live from the front lines of what is shaping up to be the third biggest blizzard that Chicago has ever seen. I've got my glass of red wine and some jazz playing on my stereo and I couldn't be happier to be snowed in for the day. So what has Snowmageddon been like for me thus far?

Well, I was at work last night when the snow really started to come down around 3. However, cars were still on the street and we were going to stay open to stay open to 6 (we usually close at 10). By 4 it was really coming down, but people were still out shopping. By 5 there were only a few cars on the street and about 5 customers loitering in the cafe. We ended up leaving at about 6:30 and boy was it windy outside! We tried to call a cab, but no one would pick up. As a group of us were leaving faced with the 15 minute walk to the Fullerton Red Line we came across a very nice cab driver who drove us home. I should have gotten the guys name because he was an angel. I made sure to tip him well and I hope he made it home safely.

I was up most of the night listening to the thunder snow and sirens from all the emergency vehicles that were deployed to Lake Shore Drive to dig out those who were stranded. Apparently there were 3 or 4 bad accidents in the early evening and LSD ended up being shut down (it's still closed right now!). From what I understand motorists were stranded there for a good 4-10 hours. That's the level of craziness we are experiencing here. I've got pics to prove it. These are a few I shot of LSD.

I woke up this morning to a snow covered post apocalyptic city. My store was not going to open today so I was thrilled with my snow day. It was about 8am and that's when I set out from my apartment to try and snap some pictures. I bundled myself up (even put on a hat -which I never do) and walked up Belmont to Lake Shore Drive. There were a few people out walking dogs or snow blowing the sidewalks, a few cars, some buses and some snow plows, but it really was like the city had been deserted. It was white everywhere and so quiet at 8am. Normally the city is buzzing with people heading to work, but this was just spooky.

As I got closer to the lake it got windier and signs of last night's chaos were evident. I saw 2 buses that had spun out and were left at the side of the road. Police cars were out blocking access to LSD. I climbed up the side of the embankment (a feat in waist deep snow) and stood by the side of Lake Shore Drive which was completely empty. This is not a thing that any sane Chicagoan would do on a normal day. Maybe I've been watching too many zombie apocalypse movies, but I got the feeling that something wasn't right. Desolate is the world that comes to mind. It was snowing again so I couldn't even see the skyline. I felt like the city had abandoned me and I was left alone on this tundra that was once Lake Shore Drive.

When I was done being freaked out I took a walk back through my neighborhood. Most streets weren't plowed and there were a lot of cars abandoned in the middle of the road. Turns out Walgreens and CVS were open so I went in to stock up on blizzard provisions (milk, marshmallows, red wine and sour cream and onion potato chips). I finished my adventure with a nice cup of hot cocoa. It's almost 1 now and it's still snowing outside, but I can see that the sun wants to peek through. Hopefully people will stay off the streets today and let the city do their job to clean up this mess. Maybe I'll take one more trip out later this afternoon just to make sure that snow zombies haven't eaten everyones brains out.

boyfriend material

2011-02-01T01:52:00.003-06:00

Not sure if this is a phase I'm going through or if I'm actually just losing my mind, but I'm finding that I really do enjoy these middle of the night Internet sessions. Over the past few months I find that I am waking up in the middle of the night and going online for a bit. I usually blog and just enjoy the stillness of being up at this hour. It also makes me less restless and gives me a better nights sleep.

Right now I have a few things on my mind. I'm really hoping that a huge blizzard does come and we have to close my store for at least a day. I could really use a snow day. I feel that all the frozen soup on my freezer could really be put to good use and would you like to read a blog on Snowmagedeon?

I'm also thinking about how I really feel about Bachelor #10. I've already established that I don't think he could be boyfriend material, at least not the kind of boyfriend I want. I've really been thinking a lot about him a lot more lately and find that I don't like the idea of him with other girls. UGH! I hate being like this. I'm sure I can talk myself out of this in a few days. I think I just need to get some fresh blood into the mix and find one or two more Bachelors to keep my mind from focusing on any one specific Bachelor.

I know that as soon as I go on another date with Bachelor #12 I will start liking him a whole lot more as well. It's this bizarre girly thing that I just can't kick. It's like every time I have a good date with a guy I seem to want to start planing the wedding or my imagination sets in and I start wonder how he would get along with my family. Maybe it's just my biological clock ticking or something. Now, I really do consider B12 boyfriend material, but we've only been on 3 dates and,even though I know he's into me, I don't think he is as into me as I am him. I like the idea of a guy really wanting to spend time with me and not just surviving on one date every week or week and and a half. I want a mutual feeling of admiration and the need to spend all of our free time together.

Don't get me wrong, I am having fun with dating. However, I will eventually want more than this and I'm not sure how that is going to play out. I realize that guys are different when it comes to this stuff and I've been trying really hard not to scare them off. This is why I date a few Bachelors at once so that I can stay occupied and not come across as needy.

On a totally different topic, Bachelor #2 texted me the other day to see how things were going. I'm pretty sure that me ignoring him for over a month should have been a good sign that I'm not interested. Why is it that the Bachelors I'm not into seem to be into me? It's some weird rules of attraction. I also saw Bachelor #3 was checking out my OkCupid profile a few days ago. This could be bad news and I really hope I'm able to resist him if he tries to contact me. I don't want it to be like last time where he caught me during a moment of weakness and I let him come over. I must be stronger next time because he is certainly not boyfriend material.

cream of cauliflower soup

2011-01-30T19:56:00.003-06:00

It's perfect soup weather. I love making a big batch of soup and freezing it so I can have something delicious when I get too busy to cook. My goal was to cook one new recipe a week and I really haven't been very good at that. I figured I'd start my week off with a cream of cauliflower soup I found in Ad Hoc. However, I added a few of my own touches. This was actually pretty easy to make and only took about an hour from start to finish.

roughly chop up 2 heads of cauliflower, 3/4 a cup leeks and 3/4 a cup onion. Add 3 TB butter to a pot and toss the veg in. Let cook for about 20 minutes or until tender.

Add 2 cups water, 2 cups milk and 2 cups heavy cream. Add curry powder and ginger (I used the kind in a jar, but you could use powder) and salt to taste. Simmer for 30 minutes.

I used my handheld immersion blender to get a nice puree, but you could also use a regular blender. I warmed up some nan and had a delicious meal with plenty left over to freeze.

popping my Kuma's cherry with Bachelor #10

2011-01-27T15:53:00.004-06:00

Kuma's is amazing. Why the fuck did I wait so long to go here? Bachelor #10 was the lucky man to take my Kuma's cherry. I actually had an eventful afternoon. I spent a good 30 minutes getting ready for his visit. I bought some sexy new lingerie in big girl size and got all sex kitten with the hair and makeup. My plan was to put on a trench coat and heels, go down to let B10 in, lure him into the elevator and flash him. He ended up turning up at my door (thankfully it was him when I answered wearing nothing but stockings, a thong and a corset) and we had a delighted afternoon where he de-stressed me and punished my naughtiness with some spankings. Do people in relationships get to have this much fun? I highly suggest you ladies out there try to spice up your live life with a riding crop of some wrist cuffs (or both!)

After our little session we worked up up an appetite and headed over to Kuma's. I can't believe that Kuma's has been open 5 years and I've just taken my first trip. Kuma's has been on my hit list for a while and I'm so happy I can finally check it off. I'd heard only great things about this place (and maybe some mixed reviews on the service) and was not disappointed.

I was shocked at how small Kuma's is. We went on a Thursday afternoon and the place was packed. I think there was a half an hour wait for a table, but we managed to score a seat at the bar. First thing I noticed was that they have Jack Dainiels on tap. Extreme bonus points for that Kumas! Their beer list was impressive with a great line up of micro brews. I was pleased to see Left Handed Milk Stout on the list, but ended up with a Dark Horse Raspberry Ale which was really tasty.

The burger menu is out of the ordinary, but everything looked delicious. I had a very hard time narrowing it down but ended up with the Black Oak Arkansas, a burger with a red wine BBQ sauce, white cheddar, bacon and beer battered shallots. OMG! I am in love. Their burger is thick and juicy and all the topping lined up to create a moment of awesomeness when I took my first bite. I think I may have moaned a bit. I got the waffle fries to go with my meal.

I also have to say that I learned a lesson today. When we first got there I saw this woman with a fur coat who looked totally out of place there. She was with an ass-rock looking dude which I thought was strange. She ordered a red wine and I totally judged her and was going to make some snide comment about her. Turns out that this couple sat next to us and started up a conversation. They were delightful and lots of fun. They were from South Carolina and it turns out he was a chef so we had tons to talk about. I will try really hard not to judge a book by it's cover anymore.

As for the service, I thought the waitress was attentive and friendly so I can't say that i have any complaints about this place. I hope to return again...and again...and again. I mean there is a whole list of burgers to get through and then there's the mac n cheese.(also it should be noted that you can only use one credit card per tab)

Now back to B10. I really enjoy spending time with him. I'm comfortable with him and he's extremely attentive to my needs. I was also impressed that he cleared his plate and I was ashamed that I only ate half of my burger. I told him about my Bachelor numbering system and mentioned my blog. Should I let him read it? Would it be awkward and effect how I write about him? He really is one of my 'Top Bachelors" and maybe I should reward him with a look inside my head. Hope it doesn't send him running.

Bachelor #13 and another lesson learned

2011-01-23T05:34:00.005-06:00

It's about 5:30am and I didn't really have the intention of posting this blog yet. However, I woke up to use the bathroom and found that snow was falling outside my window. I figured this was the perfect time to sit down, enjoy the peacful moment and write.

I met Bachelor#13 on OkCupid and we exchanged a few e-mails. He seemed like a decent guy so I suggested we meet for a drink. I forgot that I had actually purchased tickets for a Dive Bars of Chicago History Pub Crawl (more on this in another blog) on that date so rather than cancel my plans with him I just invited him to join me. This was a risky move because I had just commited myself to a good 3 to 4 hours with this guy and usually I like to have the easy escape plan that just a drink affords me.

I meet Bachelor#13 at the museum and we fall into conversation. He is not ugly, but I am really not attracted to him from the start and this is a big problem for me. He's a little bit bigger guy, which is okay by me, but he has a goatee (not a fan of facial hair) and talks like a full on Superfan. He's born and raised in Chicago so that makes sense. What really bothers me is that he reminds me of someone I work with. Someone who I am not physically attracted to in anyway and this alone is a strike against him.

We hit our dive bars and have some good conversation. He is easy to talk to to and we do have a lot in common. He comes across as very working class, but it turns out that he has a PHD, did his undergrad at NYU and Masters and PHD at UIC. So clearly this isn't a dum-dum I'm dealing with. However he spends a good 10 minutes riping on art and film majors and this makes me slightly uncomfortable. By the end of the night I can tell that he's in to me way more than I am into him. He even invites me to his birthday party a few weeks down the line. We have an awkward goodbye at the end of the night where I hurry into a cab and thank him for a nice night. I really hope he doesn't call me because I don't think I want to see him again, but I don't want to be the girl who just drops off the face of the earth either.

So the moral of this date is that I really should just stick to a drink and save the fun stuff for the even numbered Bachelors that I really like.

Custom House Tavern

2011-01-20T14:32:00.007-06:00

Last night I went on my fanciest date yet. Bachelor #12 and I went to the Custom House Tavern for a four course chef's tasting menu (I had a Groupon to use up). The experience was sublime from the service to the food to the company.

I showed up a little bit earlier than B12. The host took my coat and I went to the bar to get a cocktail. The bartender was an older woman - I love to see a good woman bartender (not some trixie with a shot tray). The cocktail line-up was impressive with a selection of about 12 craft cocktails. There was even a sazerac on the menu and the fact that they make their own vermouth totally scored them some points. I went on the bartenders suggestion and ordered a tequila old fashioned. This was simple cocktail of repisido tequila, house made vermouth, and brandied cherries. I would have never considered this sort of tequila cocktail, but I do adore Manhattans so this wasn't that far off. The cocktail was superb and I got a little buzzed before my date showed up. I also have to say that the beer and wine list were well put together, but it's hard to choose one of those when you can put the skills of the bartender to work.

Once B12 showed up we were taken to our seats. The dining room is dimly lit and cozy. It's decorated in darker earthy tones and the booths are arranged for an intimate meal. The only thing I would change is the view. We were looking out a window at the bustling Congress Parkway and a BP station across the street. That's Chicago for you! The service was first class. I don't think I emptied 1/4th of my water glass before someone showed up to refill it. Also, I tend to be a messy eater, but you wouldn't know because after each tasting someone was there to sweep away the crumbs and hide my shame. What struck me as interesting was when we were first seated I went to put the white napkin on my lap a waiter walked up and offered me a darker one. I can only assume it was because I was wearing a black dress? I've never seen that before. Guess I don't eat at enough classy joints.

But let's get to what we all came here for...the food. The waiter explained that the chef's tasting was a 'best of'. If this meal was designed to show off the skill of the chef he certainly did a fantastic job. The evening started off with an amuse bouche consisting of poached shrimp on a horseradish creme fresh. My palette was certainly stimulated by the creaminess of the shrimp and pop form the horseradish.

First tasting was a roasted butternut squash salad. Now, anyone who knows me well knows that in my world I don't eat salads. No matter how many times I try I just can't seem to choke down a salad. However, I cleared my plate on this one. The salad was a frisee salad with a tangy vinaigrette. It was served over some roasted butternut squash and there was some bacon mixed in as well. The bacon was okay, but I think that the dish would have been fine without it (and that would be something I rarely say). The real stand out was the Greek yogurt on the side. It was homemade and mixed with maple, but the stunner was the dash of paprika on top! A winning flavor combination that i will certainly try at home. This combination just makes total sense a dash of smokey spice with the rich tang of the yogurt.

The next course was scallops and pork belly which to me is like saying let me wrap up a night of awesome sex in bacon. The scallop was served over the pork belly and some grits. I really wanted to lick the bowl and could have eaten 5 more servings. By far this was the best dish. I really feel that the scallops and pork belly speak for themselves. Is your mouth watering yet?

The main entree was short ribs. They were certainly tasty and cooked well, but didn't stand out. I also prefer mine still on the bone, but these were served like a piece of pot roast over some mashed potatoes that lacked flavor. Still a good dish, but not blown away like the other courses.

Dessert was a chocolate ganache coated in sea salt and served with a dollop of cinnamon ice cream. The ice cream was the winning element of this dish, but the ganache was the perfect way to end the meal.

Would I go back and pay full price for this meal? Yes, but only if I had some Gs to spend or it was a special occasion (like a 3rd date with one of my bachelors). They are offering $5 burgers during January so I think I will pop back to the bar for another cocktail and one of those sometime soon.

http://www.customhouse.cc/
hood: South Loop/Printers Row
Tab: about $140 for 2 people (that's not including my Groupon)

everyone's a little bit racist

2011-01-18T17:36:00.006-06:00

The title of this blog refers to a song from Avenue Q. It's funny and meant to play on every one's racist guilt that lies beneath the surface. However, it turns out that some people are more than a little bit racist. I was appalled and sickened when I went on to check Facebook this morning and saw that my 18 year old cousin had posted: "what did MLK ever do for me? nothing so screw him. happy James Earl Ray day." What makes it worse is that a bunch of his friends commented with similar thoughts and 15 people liked it! A good friend of our family commented on how inappropriate that post was and told him that him and his friends would never amount to half of the man that MLK was. I agreed with her and posted that comments like that make my stomach turn. One of his friends commented after me "you sure love niggers".

Right now I'm disgusted with all of this. It's hard to believe that someone could be so racist. It's true, my cousin will never be the half the man that MLK was. I will always be grateful to the man who had the bravery and eloquence to lead a movement that changed the world. I'm grateful that I had the freedom to choose my friends when I went to school, regardless of their skin color. I realize that society has a long way to go, but we've made progress - would we have gotten this far without MLK?

wedding number two

2011-01-16T20:31:00.004-06:00

I never really intended this whole getting ordained online thing to go over so well, but it seems that modern brides and grooms are looking for something a little more intimate for their nuptials. Having someone who knows you is just an extra little touch to a special day. I was extremely touched when my friend Marissa asked me officiate her wedding last July. Here is the ceremony I put together for them.

The couple: Mike and Marissa
The story: Marissa and I met my freshman year of college and I immediately liked her outgoing personality and the confident way she carried herself. She has been a great friend to me, but I think the thing I love the most about her is her wacky side. Not only is she beautiful, smart and creative, but she is hell of a lot of fun to be around. This is the type of friend that can always put a smile on your face. She met Mike where they were both working at an art supply store and after a very long cortship they decided to get married. The first time I met Mike was at another friend's wedding and I immediately liked him. Mike and Marissa are a winning combination (I mean, even their names go well together) and I was honored to be able to marry them.

Good afternoon! We are gathered here today, not to witness of the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is! We do not create this marriage, because we cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with Mike and Marissa and their friends and families the wonderful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives! In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

Love is the greatest thing that we have. It is the language we all speak. It is the foundation that most relationships are built upon. Love comes naturally to us. You can look at the ones you love and say “I touched their life”. Just as you, Mike, might say I touched this canvas, those brushstrokes are mine.” For you, Marissa, it may be a knit or a purl in knitting project you are working on. With each stitch you are building something special, sharing a part of you. Marriage is to belong to each other through a unique and diverse collaboration, like two strings of yarn crossing in different directions, yet weaving one scarf together.

However, to make this relationship work takes more than love. It takes trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. And it takes faith, to go forward together without knowing what the future holds for you both. While love is our natural state of being, these other qualities are not as easy to come by. They are not a destination, but a journey. And this why we gathered here today. To support you in your journey.

Readings
The bride and groom have selected a few readings they would like to share with us. First is the groom’s sister Cheryl who will be reading I carry your heart by e.e. cummings.

And now the Grooms’ sister Susan will be reading a selection from Dante Alighieri (Ala-gary) titled There is a Gentle Thought

Exchange of Rings
Traditionally, the marriage ceremony is marked by the exchange of rings. The wedding ring is a symbol of unbroken circle of love; a reminder that love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver –for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings remind you always of the vows you will take here today.

Mike, please take Marissa’s ring, and as you place it on her hand, repeat after me...I give you this ring to wear with love and appreciation. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my wife this day and forever more.
Marissa, please take Mike’s ring and as you place it on his hand repeat after me.. I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore.

Pronouncement
Mike and Marissa, remember to treat both yourself and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship – as they threatened all relationships at one time or another – remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the times when roadblocks keep you from continuing your journey – remembering that even if you loose your way for a moment the path is still there.

And now that you have stood before me and exchanged these rings and these vows, and have agreed to be married according to the laws of the state of Florida, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce that you are Husband and Wife. You may now kiss the bride.
Family and Friends, it is my honor to present to you, for the first time as husband and wife: Mike and Marissa.

just call me the rev

2011-01-12T14:39:00.007-06:00

A few years ago I went online and got ordained through The Universal Life Church. This actually gave me the title of 'Reverend'. It all started because two very important friends (who I had introduced to each other) decided to tie the knot. We joked about me officiating and one night (I think it might have been New Year's Eve) I went online and did it.

Being asked to officiate a wedding is both an honor and a big responsibility. This is where my past experience on the speech team and degree in English come in handy. It's important to craft the perfect ceremony that reflects the couple and the sanctity of marriage. This doesn't mean you can't have fun with it though. My hope is that one day I can officiate ceremonies for everyone, regardless of sexual preference. I look forward to the day when I get to perform an official ceremony for husband and husband or wife and wife.

I'm about to officiate my third wedding and I thought that I would go back and post my ceremonies for everyone to read. Each is a tribute to the extraordinary couples I married.

The couple: Nick and Amanda.
Their Story: I've been friends with Amanda since middle school and I met Nick in high school, but didn't really build a friendship with him until after college when we both started hanging out together. I eventually threw Amanda into the mix and we all became very good friends. We would get together every week to watch Buffy and eventually feelings developed between them. For a very long time I was in the middle of two people who liked each other, but were too afraid to do anything. Eventually, moves were made a relationship was formed. They had a beautiful 1930's themed wedding at an apple orchard.

Nick and Amanda's Wedding (August 2009)

Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together here today. Marriage -that blessed arrangement. Marriage -that dream within a dream. Nick and Amanda, may love –true love- follow you forever.

The Bride and Groom have brought their own vows and would like to share those with each other.

I (name), take you (name) to be my (husband/wife), my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I promise to be most excellent to you. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live
I, (name), take you, (name), to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the (man/woman) you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to be excellent to you. To love you and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.

Traditionally, the marriage ceremony is marked by the exchange of rings. The wedding ring is a symbol of unbroken circle of love; a reminder that love freely given has no beginning and no end, no giver and no receiver –for each is the giver and each is the receiver. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.

Nick, please take Amanda’s ring, and as you place it on her hand, repeat after me… With this ring I thee wed.
Amanda, please take Nick’s ring and as you place it on his hand repeat after me…With this ring I thee wed.

And now that you have stood before me and exchanged these rings and these vows, and have agreed to be married according to the laws of the state of Indiana, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce that you are Husband and Wife. May you always be excellent to each other.

Nick, you may now kiss your lady.

Mad Girl resolves: 2011

2011-01-05T05:22:00.002-06:00

I never used to be much of a resolutions type of girl. Actually, to this day, I find it annoying when people say things like ‘I’m going to lose 30 pounds’. I think resolutions are about lifestyle change and achieving goals. They should be about changing behaviors that keep you from loosing those 30 pounds. I also think resolutions should be fun and a little whimsical. I feel I did a good job with my resolutions from last year. I could have smoked a little more pot, but I know I certainly had more sex. This was also the year of painted nails and little black dresses. So, I’ve thought long a hard about this year’s resolutions and hope to achieve as many of these as I can.

*Eat (at least) one Michelin starred restaurant
*Try to stick to the ‘eat right for your blood type’ method. At the very least try to treat my body better.
*Transition for dating to a relationship (the goal is to have a straight boy to kiss on NYE next year)
*Find a new job…soon
*Save some G’s. I’ve never been good with money, but I want to start paying down my credit card debt and putting a little bit of money aside for my sister’s wedding.
*Keep my hair dyed…even if it means coughing up the money to see a good colorist.
*Try out one new recipe a week.

surviving Christmas

2010-12-28T04:40:00.002-06:00

Maybe I'm a bit of a Grinch, but Christmas can go suck it. In fact, the whole month of December can suck it. For me, December is about survival. It's sort of like training for a marathon and the month of December is the big day. By the end of the holiday season I'm left in a state of pain and exhaustion. Most people spend December attending holiday parties and visiting family. However, I work retail and I spend the month dealing with the general public -most of which who do not spend a lot of time in retail establishments and therefore, don't know the rules.

I spend December running around like a mad woman dealing with people who don't understand how sales tax works or the fact that the online price is different than the in store price. Not only don't they understand it, but they want to argue about it and waste my valuable time. These type of people can suck it.

The worst part of the month is the two weeks before Christmas when I work 6 day work weeks. This usually drives me to the brink of insanity and takes until about mid February to recover. I'm currently sitting in an apartment that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in months. There are dirty dishes and clothes everywhere and a nice film of grime. I'm pretty sure there is a dead body somewhere in my kitchen as well. Tomorrow is my first real day off in 2 weeks and I have to spend it digging myself out of this filth. I also plan to shave my legs. This hasn't been done in a bout 2 weeks and I'm feeling a little too bohemian for my liking. Clearly, there haven't been visits from Bachelors so I will also need get my love life jump started.

Last year I promised myself that I would not be working retail during the holidays this year. Perhaps I can finally make that a reality. I plan to get serious about finding a new job after the new year. Who knows, I may be one jolly mother fucker by the time Christmas rolls around next year. Perhaps I will be able to join everyone down and Whoville for holiday festivities.

Blogiversary

2010-12-21T01:14:00.004-06:00

Can you believe that it’s been one year since I started this blog? Let me just start by saying that I just watch Scott Pilgrim vs The World and I’m very happy that I did not acquire 7 evil exes. Hell, I didn’t even date a vegan this year. (if you haven't seen this movie yet then I suggest you do ASAP -it's pretty rad) I feel that a I got to document a lot of my life this past year. Sure, a few things fell through the cracks, but MadGirl’s Manifesto serves as my own little journey through life, food and sex.

When I started this blog I really didn’t have a purpose. I figured I’d just sit down and write and see what sort of shit I could spew on to the page. I’m not sure if I want to refocus for this next year or just keep going. What if I finally settle down with one of my Bachelors? What would that be like? Or maybe I should just stop getting so personal and focus on food and drink? Does the world really need another foodie blog? I think maybe I will leave it open to my readers...what's working? What's not? What do you want to read more of?

The 12 Bachelors of X-Mas

2010-12-07T17:15:00.006-06:00

So here we are. It's almost the end of the year and I've dated 12 Bachelors and slept with with 7 of those 12. Is this really a lot considering all the catching up I had to do? I'm glad that I finally got over whatever it was that was keeping me from dating and just dove in. It really has been a new adventure and I hope there are more to come. Who knows, maybe I will end up in a relationship with one of these 12. So, in honor of my 12 Bachelors I've decided to do a bit of a recap...

Bachelor #1 - I really liked this one. He was the lawyer who was a few years older and a lot of fun to hang out with. Great conversation, good chemistry, loved his dog...and then he dropped of the face of the earth. Current Status: hoping he will wake up from his coma and remember he owes me a date.

Bachelor #2 - The one I really wasn't that excited about and ditched for Bachelor #1. Ironically he contacted me recently and we've started dating a gain. However, I feel he's more of a drinking buddy than anything else. Current Status: Dating, but I don't know for how long.

Bachelor #3 - He's actually the one that started it all about a year ago. You may remember him as Aquaman. Current Status: probably due for another guest appearance in my bedroom. I also still have his cuff links.

Bachelor #4 - My first foray into the kinky lifestyle. A genuinely good person who has been very sweet to me. Likes anal sex a little too much for my liking though... We haven't slept together in months, but still keep in contact from time to time. Current Status: Possible play time very soon.

Bachelor #5 - Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Worst Date of The Year. Current Status: living somewhere in Middle Earth.

Bachelor #6 - The extremely hot tattooed writer who has fucked most of the girls in Chicago. Awesome, hot sex and great conversation. Sometimes I look at this guy and think "what are you doing with me?". I can tell you that the 17 year old me is very jealous. Current Status: Still on rotation.

Bachelor #7 - Mr. Blue Collar worker who also had a kid that he didn't tell me about until halfway through our date. Current Status: Ditched him.

Bachelor #8 - Lance Armstrong type. Mediocre sex. Current Status: 2 strikes and he's out.

Bachelor #9 - Looked like Adam Sandler. Kept putting himself down during our date. Nice guy, but not for me. Current Status: ignored him after the first date. Didn't have the heart to turn him down.

Bachelor #10 - My kinky rockabilly boy. Not only does he come over and dominate me, but he sticks around to cuddle and watch Robert Rodriguez movies as well. Current Status: Seeing each other weekly.

Bachelor #11 - We had our first date a few weeks ago and are going on our second this Friday. Really like his company and we seem to have a good time. Current Status: dating.

Bachelor #12 - Just had a fantastic first date consisting of beer, bacon and unplanned sex. Hopefully there's more to come. Current status: dating.

So with this recap done, I'd like to ask you which one is your favorite Bachelor? Cast your votes for Bachelor of the year now.

Bachelor #12....and then he kissed me

2010-12-07T10:22:00.005-06:00

I didn't know if I'd make it to 12 by the end of the year, but it turns out that 12 may just be my lucky number. I met Bachelor #12 on OkCupid where we QuickMatched each other. I started things off with my usual witty e-mail and he immediately messaged me back and suggested we just skip the chit chat and meet up. So a week later we had our first date. This date had everything a girl could hope for: bacon, craft beer, good conversation, laughter, kissing in a bar, promises of dates to Hooters and drunken sex. But I'm getting ahead. Let's start with the beginning of the night....

We met at this place called Paddy Longs which is your average neighborhood bar with a fantastic beer list. However, the best thing about this place is the bacon centric menu. Bachelor #12 arrived a little after me and I liked him for the start. He looks like your average joe, but I come to find out that he's actually an artist who has had shows in galleries. He works a day job in marketing, and is going to pursue a doctorate in psychology. The conversation was great and there weren't any awkward pauses or moments. I think I really won him over when I told him how much I liked Hooters and we agreed to go there for our second date.

Everything was going well and then he suggested we order a flight of bacon and I think i swooned a bit. So over bacon and more beers we got to know each other. When the bacon board was we ordered the beer battered bacon strips. It was pure evil and I really shouldn't even be alive right now. He might as well have pulled out a speedball for dessert. My insides are still paying for it, but I do not regret. So, if you are in the mood for bacon done right then bring your Imodium and head to Paddy Longs.

The date was going really well and he suggested we move on to a second bar. That's always a good sign because we could have easily parted ways right there. Our second bar was another neighborhood pub where we drank some Guinness and talked about music with the bartender (who's dad was Trent Reznor's body guard). We were sitting at the bar having a really good time and then he asked me if he could kiss me. I hesitated a bit because I'm anti PDA, but we kissed and it wasn't awkward. He said he wanted to get that out the way now so it wouldn't be strange later....yep, I was smitten.

And as if all of the beer and bacon wasn't enough we ended up at the Duke of Perth. It turns out that he actually lives close to me so we walked by his apartment on the way (I made a mental note on the convenience of dating within my neighborhood). I was pretty drunk by the time we hit the Duke and probably should have stopped with the last place, but I was really enjoying myself. So we drank some more and I ran into an employee which was a little strange because this is the second time I've run into this employee at the Duke and each time I'm with a different guy. We left the Duke and at this point I gave Bachelor #12 some options:

1) We part ways and make plans to go to Hooters some time soon
2) He comes back to my apartment, we have sex and then still go to Hooters sometime
3) He comes back to my apartment, we have sex, and he drops off the face of the earth

He choose option 2. Now, let me say that I did not intend to bring Bachelor #12 home. I had just assumed this was a real date - which it was. I hadn't shaved my legs, had an ugly bra and underwear on and my apartment was a mess. However, I was drunk and horny and just really wanted to have sex with this guy. Now we also have the first awkward sex out of the way.

The sex was drunk, hot and little kinky. However, I suspect we are going do a much better job when we haven't had so much to drink. I was way too drunk and had very little motor skills. I even had to sneak into the bathroom to vomit at one point. So, not your most romantic first sex, but I like making my own rules when it comes to dating and relationships. I don't feel it was a one night stand and who says a gal can't have a little fun on the first date.

I'm not sure where this is going, but I think I want it to go somewhere. He hasn't texted me yet, but if I don't hear from him by the end of the day I will text him and see what happens. If things are meant to work out then they will. (But just in case, keep your fingers crossed from me and Bachelor #12).

MadGirl's Favorite Things

2010-12-01T08:58:00.010-06:00

I may not be Oprah, but I do have a few favorite things I've discovered this past year. Sadly, you will not be going home with any of these things, but do feel free to use this as inspiration for my Christmas present:) Here are some of the products, places, activities, etc that I've come to love.

Things

Chocolate Truffle face and and body scrub from Mojo Spa - This shit is the bomb! Handmade with real cocoa - it's divine. (www.mojospa.com)
The Supernatural face powder by Philosophy - I carry this with me for on the go touch ups. Love the compact design and mirror that's included. Super easy to use. (http://www.philosopy.com/)
Global chef's knife - My pride and joy. Set me back about $100, but well worth the investment. This knife gets me cooking.
Ginger Beer - Not only is it delicious by itself, but it's the key ingredient in my new favorite drink: The Moscow Mule.
Chicago Architecture Foundation Membership - CAF members get to go on over 80 free tours! I've been on two so far and they are fantastic. Plus the staff of volunteers has excellent customer service skills. (http://www.caf.archicecture.org/)
truffle salt - I do have an obsession with truffle oil (it's like an aphrodisiac for me). I finally purchased truffle salt and my baked potatoes and popcorn haven't been the same since.
red lipstick - Finally got bold enough to start wearing this out. Haven't found the perfect one yet though.

Books/Movies/Music/TV

The Passage by Justin Cronin - Post apocalyptic vampire novel. I wasn't quite sure about this from the start, but the book ended up consuming me (and a month of my reading time this summer).
Ad Hoc at Home - Favorite cookbook of the year. Makes a great wedding/housewarming gift.
nook - I've succumbed to the e-reader generation and feel no shame. What was life like before my nook? Not only is it convenient, but I feel I am a much more efficient reader now. (http://www.nook.com/)
Pink Martini- I know the band's been around for while, but I finally fell in love with them when I caught them rehearsing for a concert in in Grant Park. (http://www.pinkmartini.com/)
She and Him - Zooey Deschanel...I'm smitten. (http://www.sheandhim.com/)
Blackdagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward - Nothing like a new trashy vampire series to get me though my gall bladder surgery and recovery. (http://www.jrward.com/)
Sleeping Beauty - Haven't seen this in ages, but purchased it as soon as it came out of the elusive Disney vault.
Snow White/ Alice in Wonderland - also out of the vault this year.
Modern Family - Best TV show of the year. Love the gay couple!
Drop Dead Diva - Another fantastic show.
The Walking Dead - Because who doesn't love zombies?

Places/Activities

The Local Option - A bar right up the street from my work. They have about 20 craft beers on tap. Me like. (http://www.thelocaloptionchicago.com/)

farmers market - Made it out more times this year than ever before. It's always fun to see what's in season. (http://www.chicagogreencitymarket.org/)

History Pub Crawls with the Chicago History Museum - History and booze - it's a win-win situation. (http://www.chicagohistory.org/)

Jamaica - No problem man! Can't wait to return to this island paradise where the rum flows freely and the locals are always up for a good time. Also, got to do zip lining when I was there!
The Chopping Block - Took a knife skills class here and really want to go back for more. (http://www.thechoppingblock.net/)

Drinks Over Dearborn - This is the perfect place to pick up odds and ends for my bar and acquire a new bottle of something to enjoy. They also hold classes here. (http://www.drinksoverdearborn.com/)

Sites

Peapod - Groceries delivered to my apartment! (http://www.peapod.com/)

Groupon - Best. Idea. Ever. I'm addicted. (http://www.groupon.com/)

FetLife - Who knew that I had a kinky side? (http://www.fetlife.com/)

4 am rant

2010-11-22T03:50:00.003-06:00

It's almost 4am and I'm having one of my late night online sessions. I've been doing this a lot lately. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and go online for an hour then fall back to sleep. I fell a bit like a zombie right now. Speaking of zombies, are you all watching Walking Dead? I'm really loving it and think I'll read the graphic novels.

I haven't been able to sleep the last few nights because I have work issues on my mind. It seems that there is always something going on at work that causes me to stress out. I realize that retail management is a stressful job, but this is all just starting to take its toll. I was talking to a friend the other day and i figured that my average workday is 11 hours when you factor commute in. I'm starting to think that this is not the best quality of life for me. However, I've been doing this for 10 years and am not quite sure what else I'm qualified to do. Also, I can't really afford to make less than what I'm making now because I refuse to go into more debt.

So I'm thinking about some options:
win the lotto
marry a rich old man with a bad cough
go on Jeopardy or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
invent something fantastic like the snuggie or shamwow
rob a bank
write a book, get it published and be invited on Oprah to talk about said book

Bachelor #11

2010-11-19T23:53:00.003-06:00

You know it's a good date when the guy stays out until 1am and has to get up at 5am the next day. I met Bachelor #11 on OkCupid. We exchanged a few e-mails and I decided that he might be worth a date so I accepted his invitation to Hop Leaf. Picking an awesome bar known for its Belgian beers is certainly a way to get my attention.

I arrived at the bar and took a seat across from him. I can usually tell how the date will be in the first few minutes. If it's awkward and uncomfortable that is certainly not a good sign. However we fell into conversation and there wasn't any sort of awkwardness involved. What I appreciate about Bachelor #11 is that we just sort of bounced back and forth, letting each other take their turn. It was a totally equal exchange of dialogue. I also like that he had a good sense of humor and we seemed to see eye to eye on a lot of things. I think the only weird thing was when he asked me how long my longest relationship was and I had to explain about how I really wasn't a dater until recently. Turns out he's Mr. Commitment with most of his relationships lasting 2 to 3 eyars.

I also seem to have some sort of thing with Latin guys who work in IT. Bachelor #11 is Colombian. He's pretty good looking in that douchbag sort of way, but he certainly not a douche. He is passionate about music, loves to cook, has traveled extensively and has a membership to the art museum. This one could be a keeper.

We polished off two beers and I was expecting the date to end there, but it didn't. He suggested one more beer and this is when I knew the feelings were mutual. A three drink first date is always a good sign. So we had our third beer and he was kind enough to walk me to my train.

As luck would have it, I also think that things are progressing beyond just sex with Bachelor #10. I'm not sure where it's heading, but he did pay me another visit last night and talked about how he wished I lived closer so he could see me more ofen. He also left one of the plugs for his ear here. That is now three items that he's left at my apartment and I'm beginning to think he's marking his territory. Not sure how I feel about that, but i do know I like having him around.

some more about my bachelors

2010-11-12T21:11:00.004-06:00

I just finished watching Paranormal Experience and am a little freaked out. I know I shouldn't be watching that before bed. It's not that the movie was particular gruesome or anything. I just tend to get spooked by movies like that. Earlier this afternoon I watched Walking Dead and that didn't scare me. I feel I am pretty prepared for a zombie attack. I'm sure that the likely hood of a demon possession and a zombie attack are nill, yet still I find myself needing a distraction right now. Wish I had Bachelor #10 here....

Last night Bachelor #10 came over to help relive me of some of my stress. It worked. After playtime we sat on my couch and talked while he held me. It was nice. He's a bigger guy and I feel vulnerable and girlish around him. This time he brought leather cuffs over. If you are looking for a way to spice up your love life then I suggest you try them. They were actually shockingly comfy and he was kind enough to leave them here. I also still have his riding corp and suspect that my bedroom might soon turn into sex toy shop...

Even though I tend to be dominate in my real life I like the idea of submitting in the bedroom. I'm confident, independent and can be quite aggressive because of my job. However, I'm finding that I have this other side that just wants to be dominated. At least, by the right guy. I'm selective about my partners. They have to be people I can have a conversations with and they have to make me comfortable. Never in a million years did I think I'd find myself here. I never fathomed that there was anything more than a vanilla lifestyle for me. I also never thought I'd be sharing any of this on a blog, but I suspect I'm not the only kinkster out there...maybe just the only one who's willing to talk openly about it :) These are ideas and emotions that I'm still trying to work out, but I feel like I'm starting to figure out what I need from a relationship.

I don't really think Bachelor #10 is boyfriend material, but I am growing quite fond of him and can't really explain why. I tend to get these attachments to my bachelors. I think it's a girl thing. I'm not even 100% sure if I want a boyfriend right now. I also don't like the idea of not being able to have sex with Bachelor #6 every now and then. I don't think most guys would be cool if their girlfriend kept a few guys on the side. I know I certainly couldn't handle that. Clearly, these are all issues I need to work out before I'm relationship ready. I guess if I do find the right guy then these other bachelors really won't matter -right?

I like him, but I don't LIKE him

2010-11-08T23:17:00.003-06:00

I think I might be getting better at this dating thing. At least, I'm starting to figure out the signals. Like tonight when Bachelor #2 gave a few subtle hints that he wanted to be invited over and then offered to walk me home at the end of the night. I let him walk me home and when he got here he asked what floor I lived on. I wanted to answer 'the floor you are certainly not going to see tonight'.

Besides the fact that my apartment was a disaster, I just don't think I'm really into him. I like him and like that I've found a drinking buddy, but I'm just not feeling it with this one. So, do I come out and tell him (remember I've already rejected him once) or maybe just keep dating him and see what happens? Does this thing called a 'spark' actually exist? I keep thinking that maybe since I like this guy enough that that's all I should really hope for. However, I've never been the one to settle, but am I just being too picky?

Meanwhile I've been exchanging texts with Bachelor #10 all night. I just requested he bring handcuffs and he's willing to oblige. When I asked him if there was anything I could do for him he responded: nah..chances are, if I do want something I'll probably just take it. Now that gives me some fantastic shivers of anticipation and let us not forget that he still has his riding crop at my place....

This is NOT a Diet

2010-11-05T02:39:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago I picked up a copy of Eat Right For Your Type, which is a book that talks about what foods are best for each blood type. Turns out I'm a type O, which is the oldest and rarest blood type out there. I think that's pretty cool -I like being rare. You'll be shocked to find out that I'm not one for diets or healthy eating. I prefer to keep my girlish figure by feeding it lots of carbs, cheese and booze. When I started reading the book I thought it was going to ask me to give up everything I love and eat only carrot sticks. Turns out that the Type O diet is based on prehistoric man who used to eat a lot of protein (eggs, meat, seafood, nuts). I was in luck.

Now, there are certain things that I should 'avoid' as Type O. Milk, beans and grains being some of the big ones. Apparently they fuck up my digestive track and make me fat. I've spent the last week trying to get more of the beneficial foods into my meals. This meant experimenting with kale and collard greens. Um...green leafy vegetables are NOT delicious. I had to trick myself and eat a bite with my meat because I found them so unsavory. I think I'm going to have to treat myself like a 3 year old and sneak these veggies into my meals. Luckily I like spinach and broccoli.

I've certainly strayed a bit this past week (maybe a few drinking binges and some fried food). However, overall I'm quite proud of myself and the healthy meals I've cooked. I've even brought my lunch to work. My consumption of the bad things is down and I'm eating more fruits and veg than ever before. Sadly I'm not hitting the required 3-4 servings a day. Have you tried to eat 4 servings of vegetables each day? It's hard. I've also noticed that my body is not hating me as much. There a little less need for Imodium these days which is something i've needed a lot since I removed my gallbladder.

So does this mean I'm on a diet? Fuck no. I assure you that when you go out to eat with me I will not be ordering the most sensible thing on the menu. This just means that I'm going to make healthier choices when I'm in control of what is one my plate. Yes, Chipotle and I will still have our special relationship and I will NEVER give up cheese, but maybe I'll actually start treating my body better and see where that gets me. Couldn't hurt right?

Random Fall Rant

2010-10-26T21:08:00.003-05:00

It's windy here - really windy, but I guess that's to be expected. Everyone is talking about the wind like it's some sort of major event. Don't we have anything better to talk about? Isn't weather conversation just polite filler? Warm weather at the end of October just makes me restless (and slightly grumpy). I'm a huge fan of Fall. I just wish it would arrive earlier and stick around a little later. Fall always brings a certain promise of something. That fall breeze awakens something in me. Good things happen in the Fall. It was almost a year ago that I started (finally) to date. It was also last Fall when I started this blog. So what will this Fall bring for me?

I've already tried to put some things in motion. I've finally found my voice when it comes to my needs in a friendship. I've spoken out and stood up for myself. It only took me 31 year... It's a weird feeling, but I think I like it. However, I do hope some of my truer friends will call me out if I get too cocky:) I'm also attempting a new 'eating plan'. I promise you it's not a diet, but more on that in another blog. I've also tossed around the idea of joining the fancy athletic club right across the street from me. I figure it's Fall, anything is possible (even exercise).

Bachelor #10

2010-10-19T03:43:00.003-05:00

I just finished looking under my for the riding crop that Bachelor #10 left behind. That was one of those things in life that I really never thought I'd find myself doing. I've been messaging Bachelor #10 for a few months and he seemed like a nice enough guy. Tattoos, a little punk rock, rough around the edges....apparently the way I like my Bachelors lately. We finally got a chance to meet a few weeks ago.

While my standards are certainly still there, I've realized that I actually don't really have a type, nor do I care to have one when it comes to men. The old Heather would have said that Bachelor #10 wasn't really my type, but after sitting down and talking to him for a bit I was intrigued. We met at the L&L which is the only actual dive bar in the Lakeview area. He was drinking MGD and I tried really hard not to judge. Eventually we switched to bourbon on the rocks and that's when things started to get good.

I decided to invite him back to my place and on the walk home he insisted on walking on the street side because his mom told him that it was the respectful thing to do. (Apparently only prostitutes walk on the street side...must keep that in mind for the future.) We got back to my place, I poured us some more bourbon and we chatted for a bit more. Then we stopped talking and I will spare you the details, but I have to say that this was a nice change of pace for me.

I'd grown used to the afternoon hookups that last a few hours. It usually goes like this: cocktails and conversation: sex: more conversation: goodbye. I like it like this, it fits into my lifestyle very well. However, I do crave a bit more from time to time and that's where Bachelor #10 comes into play. After we had sex he stuck around and held me all night. He's a bigger guy and I really enjoyed the feeling of being held. The best part is that he stuck around for morning sex which is some of my favorite type of sex.

So how did I end up with a riding crop being left behind in my apartment? Well, our second 'date' involved something a little less vanilla. He still stayed the night, held me, and we had morning sex, but this time things got a little more interesting. Let's just say that I do believe my neighbor might of heard me getting some belated birthday spankings...

a little bit of a tease

2010-10-14T14:08:00.002-05:00

Boy do I have some stories...Bachelor #10, cruise adventures, why my job is sucking the life from me. I promise to post all of these and more soon. For now just let me leave you with this: Bachelor #10 is going to pay be a visit tonight and he's bringing a riding crop.

Historic Downtown North: Treasures

2010-09-25T07:00:00.013-05:00

This was my first tour with the Chicago Architecture Foundation. I thought that something general would be a good introduction to Chicago architecture. Not only was I impressed with the service at the Architecture Foundations, but the docent was fantastic and I walked away with more information than I expected. So let us begin our tour on Michigan Avenue...

Did you know that the Lions in front of the Art Institute have names? They are called 'on the prowl' and 'stands in an attitude of defiance'. The Art Institute was actually built on the rubble of the Great Fire. I also learned a bit about the history of Michigan Ave and State Street. Michigan Ave was a man's street, housing men's clubs and businesses. State Street was a street for women - it's where all the shopping was.

From Michigan Ave we walked up the street to the Palmer House. The picture to the right is the outside of the building and below are some pictures of the fantastic lobby and, my favorite, the Empire Room. I have decided that this will be the location of my wedding reception...now just need to find the groom.

We then traveled a little further up State Street to The Sullivan Center (used to be the Carson Pirie Scott building). I think I'm really starting to gain an appreciation for Sullivan's design.

Now, for one of my favorite places. Marshall Fields -well, now it's Macy's but the building is still just as fantastic as it used to be. I've shopped there a lot, but have never really looked up. How about this Tiffany dome?

The Cultural Center was also on our tour. I had only been in the building once or twice, but never really got a chance to see how fantastic the design inside is. This used to be the public library (built after the Great Fire), but now it houses all sorts of cultural events as well as the main tourism office.

Back out to State Street for a look at some of the buildings located along Millennium Park.

These buildings are part of the Gage Group and reflect different approaches to the Chicago School. Two are designed by Holabird and Roche and one is by Louis Sullivan (his is the more ornate one)

Dignity, What Dignity?

2010-09-24T06:53:00.003-05:00

It's about 7am and Bachelor #3 just left my apartment. Um...no need to scold me. I know.

Bachelor #9: Awkward

2010-09-19T17:22:00.010-05:00

I met Bachelor #9 on OkCupid. He sent me a message that was pretty witty and had way more content than what I'm used to. I was impressed, so we started exchanging e-mails. I was drawn in by his sense of humor - a fantastic quality in a man. He looked okay in the pics he had posted (a little like Adam Sandler) and we chatted for a few weeks before finally deciding to meet up. We agreed to meet at The Duke of Perth (I wonder if they know me as 1st date girl?) last week.

Now, the date wasn't horrible and he was certainly a nice guy, but at times it was more than a little awkward. First dates are awkward to begin with and there is always a fair amount of discomfort. However, this guy clearly had zero confidence (he put himself down quite a bit) and some very poor social skills. I know you can chalk some of that up to nerves, but I got the feeling that alot of this was just part of his personality. This is sad because he was really able to express himself and hold my attention via e-mail. However in real life there just wasn't enough to impress me. For example, when the waitress came to take our order I asked for a cider. My date sat there and stared at the menu for what seemed like forever. It was getting uncomfortable and the waitress had to finally prompt him with 'what do you like to drink?'. Then to make matters worse we were there for the time frame of at lest 2 beers, but only had one. I had half of mine down and realized he had only taken a few sips. I had to pace myself through the rest of the date when I clearly would have felt better if I was drinking more.

After our drinks came we chatted about our lives. Turns out he's an out of work child psychologist. That's right, the guy who seems to have some severe confidence issues and might be socially challenged is out there counseling children. At one point we were having a conversation and he lost his train of thought. Instead of moving on he sat there and tried to retrace his thought process. It was a painful few moments for me.

This is my problem. I go on dates with nice guys, but in the end I'm just not that into them. I know I deserve better than a guy like Bachelor #3, but I also don't want to date someone who can't hold up his end of the conversation and show me has some social skills. I need something more than another awkward first date. What I need is a really good first date. The kind of first date that leads to second and third dates.

Learning How To Work This Place

2010-09-17T11:02:00.003-05:00

Hello Everyone,

I promise not to make this e-mail as long as the last. Thanks for all of your e-mails. I'm starting to get the hang of British life now. I've been going into town a lot and now I don't get lost. Classes start next week. I'm taking a class on Women's History in U.S. and Great Britain and a class on Medieval and Tudor lit. The cool thing is that I only have class for about six hours a week and the rest is independent study.

I've also had the other two roommates move in, but I've only met one. His name if Raffie (Raphael) and he's Argentinian, but lives in Istanbul. This is his second year here so he know his way around pretty well. The cool thing about him is that he play in a jazz band. The other boy is named Marcus and from what i hear he's Spanish, but lives in India. As you can see I have an international house! I'm going to try and get my pics on disk so I can send them via e-mail. I visit Leeds Castle this week so I'll let you know how that goes.

Cheers,
MadGirl

Brown Line El Tour

2010-09-15T10:26:00.012-05:00

This adventure was brought to you by the Chicago History Museum. I am a member and decided to start taking advantage of some of their awesome tours. I've done the historical pub crawls, but have not done any of the El or Walking tours. So, I decided that the Brown Line El Tour would be my first one. Tours meet at the Palmer House Hotel, which is a magnificent hotel that I will certainly be back to explore (especially the bar). Our group had about 14 which was on the larger size. I'd say the average age of the group was about 50. Sadly, not a lot of hot single guys on this one....but I digress.

Our journey started at the Library stop:

From there is was on to the Armitage stop:

We got off at Armitage and looked at some of the older buildings in the area.

And then we walked up a few blocks to look at the McCormick Row Houses. I work in this area and have seen the houses before, but never really paid attention to them. These houses are designed in the Queen Anne style and were originally part of the McCormick Theological Seminary and were housing for students. Now they are actual homes.

We boarded the Brown Line at Fullerton and took it all the way north to the Fransico stop, which had been recently renovated. Ellen Harvey did this tile mosaic.

From here we got back on the train and took it south to the Western stop which lets you off in the heart of Lincoln Square. Lincoln Square is known as the German neighborhood and has an abundance of German restaurants. One of my favorite places is Merz Apothecary which specializes in herbal remedies and bath and body products from Europe.

We continued to wander the neighborhood and stooped by the Krause Music Store which was designed by Louis Sullivan.

We made a quick detour to the Old Town School of Folk Music (which used to be a public library) and then went back to the Western station. Now, here's something neat. The Western station houses a piece of the Berlin Wall!

Overall, it was a great tour. It was supposed to run 2 hours, but we were a little longer. I blame that on the old people who were slowing us up. Who brings an 80 year old on a walking tour? Really, people.

...

2010-09-13T05:50:00.003-05:00

Bachelor #3 Sunday @ 10:29pm: Is that a yes or a no?

MadGirl: Not sure...

B3: That's kinda vague

MadGirl: I know. Thinking about if I really want to bother. You seem to pop in and out of my life every few months and i just don't know if I am up for that again.

B3: Fair enough...I understand

MG: I can handle us just being about sex. However, I don't like being the girl you hook up with when you are drunk and horny and done hanging out with your friends.

B3: Okay understood, it won't happen again

Bachelor #3 Drama Continued

2010-09-12T17:46:00.002-05:00

Bachelor #3: Sorry about last night

MadGirl: You are a waste of my time.

B3: I am sorry you feel that way but it's not typical of me. Can I make it up 2 u?

So what do I do? Weigh in with your advice.

Why MadGirl is Pathetic and Bachlor #3 Is an Incredible Ass

2010-09-12T09:13:00.006-05:00

I am writing this blog to serve as a reminder as to why I am not going to get involved with Bachelor #3 ever again. Last night I crossed the line and would up in the realm of the pathetic girl and that is a place I refuse to be. I'm pretty pissed off at Bachelor #3, but I'm even more angry and disappointed with myself. Let me recount my tale via our exchange of text messages.

Bachelor #3 Friday at 7:59pm: Hey Neighbour...how is it going? Have you dropped off the face of the earth?

MadGirl Saturday at 10:26am: I'm still here. Haven't heard from you in a while. Been up to anything fun?

B3 Saturday at 3:59pm: Went to Vegas for Labor Day which was fun...r u working today?

MG Sat @ 5:09pm: Vegas? Lucky you. I work until 11. Want to grab a drink later?

B3 Sat @8:28pm: I will be out with friends but sounds good...I picked up something for your bar collection...I will bring it along.

MG Sat @ 9:19pm: Sounds good. I should be done by 11 so I will text you when I am on my way home.

MG Sat @ 11:01pm: I am finally leaving this hellhole. What is your ETA?

B3 Sat @ 11:19pm: Still at the bar, so take your time.

MG Sat @ 11:41pm: I am home. Head over whenever.

B3 Sat @ 11:41pm: Ok

MG Sat @ 1:22 am: You heading over soon? I am getting sleepy.

B3 Sat @ 1:47am: Yes closing the bar tab

That's right. I didn't actually get to bed until about 3:30am. I napped a bit on my couch, fully dressed and ready for sexy time. Truly and utterly pathetic of me. Now, I'm not very well rested, horny and angry. Not a good combination for this MadGirl.

Is Bachelor # 3 Back?

2010-09-10T20:30:00.004-05:00

I think that Bachelor #3 and I may just be seeing each other on some sort of lunar cycle. Let me briefly summarize our dating history:

Meet in September and chatted online a bit. Started seeing each other in mid November and dated until end of December.
He drops off the face of the earth until February when we briefly hook up and then he dissapears until April.
We date for about 2 weeks and by May he is gone again. Until today...

I just received a text from him asking me if I've fallen off the face of the earth...really? For a guy who lives at the end of my block it sure seems hard for him to keep in touch. Does he just contact me when he is really horny and doesn't have anyone else to fuck? So, I'm clearly going to text him back and put him back into the Bachelor rotation, but I think I'm going to try and get some answers out of him this time. I really am curious about what is going through this guys mind.

The Abuse of Pastries

2010-09-09T19:53:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was a really good day. It was the kind of day I wish I could live everyday. My adventures started with a visit to Bachelor #6's apartment for a quickie. I was only there for an hour, but I walked out of there with a spring in my step. I seriously felt like I had just smoked an incredible bowl of weed. Talk about your natural high. If I could start my day like that I would be a much happier person.

After my little rendez-vous I met up with one of my friends. We decided to head down towards Lincoln Park and go to this restaurant, Mon Ami Gabi. It looks like an adorable French bistro right by the park. It's located in this high end apartment building. It's the kind of place I'd like to live in should I ever win the lotto. Sadly, they did not open until later so we decided on Cafe Brauer which is actually part of the zoo. Turns out this was closed down for the season - I guess everyting shuts down after Labor Day. Luckily we had our old standby, Bistro Zinc, just a short walk away. We had a fantastic lunch at the bistro and I got my fill of their delicious escargot...for a few weeks at least. We partook in a few Campari and sodas, ate our lunch and then headed out for the French Market.

I have read a lot about the French Market and was expecting something very French. However, it's really just a market selling everything from produce to flowers to asian food. Some booths were a little more French than others. My friend and I got some pastries from Vanille Patisserie. I adore this place - it's a little pricey, but the pastries are exquisite and their macaroons are like crack at $1.50 a pop they are certainly a once in a while treat. We took our pastries and cappuccinos outside and spent a good hour drinking, eating, and geeking out with our nooks. Turns out that they did not give us forks so my friend and I used our fingers to eat our pastries. I realize that we are probably now banned from France after commiting such a crime. The weather was sunny, cool and a little windy. Our bellies were full with escargot and fine French pastries and our nooks were updated with fall reads. It was perfection.

After our coffee break we headed to the West Loop in search or The Girl and The Goat. Once we found it we continued to wander the neighborhood and plan our move over there when our leases were up a year from now. Maybe, I don't need a change of city, but a change of neighborhood? This seems to be a good neigborhood for a foodie like me. We ended up at Wishbone partaking in half price martins and convincing out friends to come join us for dinner. I think we were there for about 4 hours. Sadly, Oprah did not stop by to join us. All in all, a fantastic day full of adventures.

What I Read On My Summer Vacation by MadGirl

2010-09-07T23:55:00.004-05:00

I finally finished reading The Passage by Justin Cronin. I didn't know what to expect from this book, but quickly got sucked into the story and attached to the characters. This 800 plus page post apocalyptic vampire novel was really not what i had in mind for a summer read. However, the premise of a vampire virus wiping out most of the US in the near future is quite intriguing. The more I read the more questions I had and while some did get answered many were left to the imagination. I can't wait for the other books in the trilogy.

I also spent my summer reading 2 of Bachelor #6's books and am on my third (in e-book form) right now. I like his straight forward style of writing and it's kind of cool to get a good look around the brain of someone you're dating.

And here are a few others I read:
Tom Sawyer has been my other companion this summer. It really is different reading the classics when you are an adult. There is so much that missed when I was a kid.

The Impectionists by Tom Rachman - this was an enjoyable read about the lives of a group of journalists who all work for the same foreign newspaper in Rome
Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain. It's Bourdain, 'nuff said.
Father Mine J.R. Ward - trashy vampire lit

Currently I'm reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Why didn't I read this before? I feel the start of a distopia themed reading list...

Here's what I want to read this fall:
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Madame Bovary by Gustave Falubert
something by Henry James
Absurdistan or something else by Gary Shteyngart
Fith Avenue, 5 a.m by Sam Wasson

Banking and Asda

2010-09-05T09:17:00.002-05:00

Mom and Dad,

I just wanted to let you know that I set up a bank account
at Barclays. There are no fees and the $3,000 converted
into about �1,900 pounds. The exchange rate really wasn't
that bad.

Also, I took the free bus to Asda. It is a really cool
place. It's run by Walmart and has a huge grocery section. I spent
�20 on groceries, but got so much food. I also bought a
hair dryer and curling iron today because I just couldn't
live without them any more. I'm really under dressed for
this place. Everyone dresses really nice and I don't see
any jeans and sweatshirts.

I'm slowly learning how to work all the appliance in my
house too. This morning I had a breakfast of tea and
crumpets. A crumpet is really like an English muffin, but
spongier. I'm going to try and get to e-mail everyday, but
I can't guarantee I can do that.

Love,
MadGirl

Jolly Old England

2010-09-04T23:42:00.002-05:00

This is my first e-mail from England...oh, the memories!

Hello Everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I'm fine.
England is great. The flight here was fine, but it was a
pain at the airport. I feel as if all I've been doing
lately is standing in lines. I didn't find out that I was
going to get on a flight until the last minute so we had to
rush up to O'Hare. I spent about four hours in line
checking in and paying $100 for excess baggage because they
failed to let me know that my carry on was too heavy until
I got up to the counter. I had about five minutes to say
goodbye to my family and then I was off. There was a lot of
security, but that's fine by me. I was a little sick on
the plane at first, but once we got moving and I started
watching movies and playing with all the free stuff they
give you I was fine. When we finally landed in England the
real adventure began. I had not slept on the flight at all
and then we were trying to get off and they couldn't get
the airplane doors open! So there we are standing and
waiting to get off for a half and hour.

We made if off and cleared customs. We then met up with
the UKC people, but it turns out that we were not on the
list to get a coach to Canterbury. So, here we are; tired
and with 500 pounds of luggage and no way to get to our
school. We ended up taking a taxi (for£150) with this
Nigerian guy who was also going to school with us. He went
here last year so he was really helpful and made sure we
got to the University safely.

My flat is nice, but nothing fancy. It's very
institutional. Right now I only have four roommates (Liz
(American), Emma ( a first year British student) and Agnes
(She's from Mauritias which is an Island in the Indian
Ocean). We are still waiting on two more flat mates.

Here are some of the observations I've made about England:

-It really is cold and rainy here. That is no joke and I
don't think I've seen the sun in days. I probably didn't
need to bring any T-shirts. My umbrella is my constant
companion. Everything is ten times more green then at home
and now I know why...it never stops raining!
-English Directions are not like American Directions.
Nothing is easy to find. For example, when we were trying
to find the city of Canterbury a lady gave us directions
that said: turn right at the roundabout and then left and
take Whitstable Road to the city. To this day I do not
know where Whitstable Road is or what roundabout she was
talking about. It took us about three hours to find the
city and I'm sure we took the long way. It's a bit of a
jaunt, but I need the exercise.
-The city of Canterbury is beautiful. It has old
cobblestone streets and a cute little river. There's so
much to take in. I went to the Cathedral yesterday and it
was amazing. As a UKC student I get in for free. So, I
plan to go back and explore more.
-I'm going through total culture shock. I feel like an
idiot because I can't work anything. For example, in our
bathroom there are two taps, one for hot and one for cold,
this doesn't make sense to me. I couldn't figure out how
to wash my face for a day. I'd burn my left hand with hot
water. Finally, I realized that you plug the basin and
fill it with a mixture of both.
-English food is good. I don't know what the other people
mean when they put down the food here. Our first night we
ate at this place called the Weavers INN and I had Lamb and
Rosemary pie and a pint of cider. It was the best meal
ever. I've also had tea at a little French cafe.

I'm sorry this is so long, but there's so much to say.
I'll send more e-mails when I get a chance.

Cheers,
MadGirl

Folkstone

2010-09-04T11:13:00.002-05:00

I was cleaning up my yahoo mailbox and came across a folder of e-mails I sent to friends and family while living in England. I've decided to brush them off and pepper them into my blog. This first one is from October 22, 2001. I've decided to use covert spy names to protect the innocent.

Boy do I have a story for you! On Saturday night Candida,
her British roommate Carmen and I went out to the pubs. We
start out at our old standby, The Jolly Sailor, where Carmen
hits on the bartender and gets looked over by some really old men.

We decided to leave the Sailor and find a new pub so we
stumble upon this pub called King William IV. We go in and
there's this guy named Kevin Iverson playing! I don't
think he's related to Nick though. Well, this place is a
dive and we are like 'drink up and get outta here.' At
that very moment Sting comes on with Roxanne so we pound
our drinks, thank Sting, and leave.

At this point Candida has to pee so she makes me go back to
the sailor with her. We go in, pee, and as we are making
our way out these two hot British men hold the door for us.
Out on the street they are talking about where to go and
then head towards Simple Simons, another great pub. Well,
us girls mobilize and follow them there. Carmen and Candida
are behind them at the bar and I go outside to find a seat.

Well, a few minutes later these boys come and sit at my
table, but I'm trying to call my roommate, Puppettina, on the
mobile so we don't talk. Candida and Carmen come out and we
start talking to these men. Well, Nick sits across from me
and introduces himself and I start to realize that he's a
bit older and not as hot as I thought, but I'm still pretty
drunk so everything is good. Nick is a ground worker from
Folkstone (which is on the Channel and about an hour away).
So we're making small talk and then he says that we should
come and visit him sometime and gives me his number. Well,
being the asshole that I am I give him mine-the whole time
thinking 'what are you doing asshole' to myself.

Nick then says something to me that I really can't
understand and I make him repeat it 20 times and then I ask
Candida what he said and she says 'He thinks your a babe'!
Now, I am many things but a babe is not one of them...
Well, I start to freak out because I'm sobering up and
realizing that these men are way older and slimier then I
thought when Jack and coke were my conscience.

At this point another bloke shows up and says his name is
Soap. Soap takes a liking to Candida and calls her a
diamond. Candida and Carmen then leave me there to talk with
Soap and Nick and all I want to do is run off. Finally,
Soap asks if we want to come back to Folkstone with them
and that they will be sure that we get home safe in the
morning! Ugggg! I think all of us girls where like no way
in hell, but Candida just made up some lie about how we had
stuff to do the next day.

So, finally these men leave and we are left giggling and
I'm cringing because Nick would not stop calling me a babe
and that just made me really uncomfortable. He hasn't
called me yet and hope to god he doesn't because I'd die.

There is also a very important moral to the story: You
can't expect to meet decent men at the pubs. Trust me on
this. From now on I go to pubs to have fun and meet new
people, but not to find Mr. Right.

Love
MadGirl

P.S: I need your address and phone number. I can call you
for super cheap so that means you'll be the lucky recipient
of a drunken call from a pub one night!

=====
University of Kent
1 Ellenden Court, Park Wood
CT2 7SH Canterbury, England

Side note to the e-mail: Candida is still convinced that Soap looked like Thom York from Radiohead. He did not. Give a girl enough Jack and Coke and any loser is going to look like George Clooney.

Am I a Cuddlemonster?

2010-09-03T23:31:00.003-05:00

Lately, I have had this extreme urge to cuddle with someone and it's kind of freaking me out. I've never been a very affectionate person, but suddenly I think about what it would be like if one of my bachelors hung around and spent the night. Okay, part of that desire is because I really dig morning sex and in order to get good morning sex you need to wake up next to each other.

I remember when Bachelor #3 first tried to play the cuddle card with me. After sex he would wrap himself around me, snore really loud and fuck me when we work up in the morning. The first couple of times he spent the night I got really annoyed. I couldn't sleep and frankly, the guy lived at the end of my block so it wasn't a long trek home. However, now I miss that. I realize that he was willing to provide me with the sex and the intimacy.

I think in my quest to be sexually adventurous I forgot to consider intimacy and honestly, I think I need a little cuddle time now and then. It's funny how I can easily bring a guy to my bed with very little inhibitions, but asking for anything more turns me right back into that timid girl that I am trying to leave behind.. I've managed to compartmentalize my relationships and take what I need from each one, but what I'm not getting, and certainly craving, is some cuddle time.

Ghosts of Bachelors Past

2010-09-03T10:05:00.002-05:00

I got an e-mail from Bachelor #2 today. He just wanted to see how I was doing and if I was drinking any IPA. To refresh your memory I went on one date with Bachelor #2 and had a good time, but was also dating Bachelor #1 at the time and was way more into Bachelor #1. I ended up e-mailing Bachelor #2 to tell him I was getting serious with someone else and then a few weeks later Bachelor #1 dropped off the face of the earth. This is when I learned a valuable lesson: don't put all you eggs in one basket. I have since learned that it is okay to date multiple men at the same time because chances are a few of them are going to turn out to be flakes and if I'm lucky one will actually stick around.

I have mixed feelings about Bachelor #2. I enjoyed his company, but just wasn't' feeling a connection that would lead to more than friendship. However, I like to give guys a second try and that's why I decided to respond to his e-mail. I also kind of like the idea that there was someone out there who was still thinking about me. It's a nice feeling to know that you are liked. We'll see where this takes us, but I feel that as long as I am upfront with him then it should be okay.

This whole electronic communication thing can get quite frustrating. I hate the weeks of e-mails back and forth and then the weeks of trying to meet up. I'd say about 50% of the potential bachelors make it past e-mail and only about 75% actually end up in a real date. For example, I have exchanged numbers and have dates pending with 3 guys right now. If I'm lucky one of them will end up in a date and the rest will just fall into some sort of dating black hole. It's all very bizarre and I just feel it should not be this complicated. If it were up to me I'd just like to exchange a few basic e-mails and then meet up to see if we really connect. If date 1 and 2 go well and they turn out to be a good kisser then I think there could be a future.

Too Much To Handle?

2010-08-29T17:34:00.004-05:00

Well aren't you tasty for being 30 and so skinny...thought you were underage at first. It's not often I can say that about such a fragile and innocent girl being very attractive. You probably can't keep up with an experienced and kinky daddy unfortunately, can you? ;-)

...we'd definitely make good looking kids though.

I shit you not, some guy just sent me that in a e-mail. I find so many things wrong and offensive that I had to share it. First off, he is 28 and clearly being 30 is old for him. Does he think that being in your 30s means you must look like a hag? Also, assuming I am underage is just plain creepy. Secondly, I am not, nor have I ever been, skinny. Granted I didn't post full body pics of myself, so he just saw my legs...which are pretty fantastic on their own, but they do not attach themselves to a skinny person. Third, innocent and fragile are two of the last words you would use to describe me (along with graceful, musically inclined, and neat). I'm strong, like bear. And then there is the assumption that I can't keep up. Not impressed, stallion.

And finally, there is the reference to our children. His profile does not show his face, just a shot of his naked chest. I'm willing to bet that there is a damn good reason for this. I'm not taking my chances on him looking like Sloth from the Goonies. There is also something wrong with suggesting procreation in the first e-mail - just plain wrong.

Usually I just brush off the weird e-mails and move on, but this one really got under my skin. I'm tempted to e-mail him back and give him piece of my mind.

P.S: His message title: Too much to handle?

Totally Mediocre Sex

2010-08-25T17:36:00.004-05:00

I just had Bachelor #8 over for some totally mediocre sex. I was hoping there would be some sort of passion or spark this time around, but not so much. This is a bummer because I do like this guy. It's not like the sex was terrible, but it just lacked the passion and roughness i have become used to with Bachelor #4 and Bachelor #6. Also, he was getting ready to go on a bike ride and came dressed in biker gear a la Lance Armstrong. This, my dear readers, is not one of my fetishes. It was vaguely reminiscent of something Aquaman (Bachelor #3) would have worn. The sex we had was the sort of sex I'd expect from an amateur and maybe he is. Is this what normal sex is like? I really wish there was some sort of chemistry but maybe that's what is laking. What really irks me is that i actually like him and find that we have a lot in common and could easily date. This was our second encounter, and while it was better than the first, and he did do his best to pleasure me, I just wasn't impressed. The strange thing is that I will probably do it with him again.

So, just as he was leaving I get a text from Bachelor #6 who volunteers to be my bad sex savior. In a ultimate slutty move I have invited him over and he is on the way right now...

****break for sex and post sex conversation***

Once again, it's Bachelor #6 to the rescue. The sex was great as usual, but it's actually the conversation after that I look forward to (okay, maybe not as much as the sex, but it's close). I find Bachelor #6 fascinating and tonight I found out that he was in a band with Pete Wentz before he started Fall Out Boy, there is a Fall Out Boy song written about him, he is quite popular is Australia, he's publishing a book for Keltie Colleen who is going to be on the next Bachelor. I'm fascinated and somewhat inspired by him. Here is a guy who built a career as a writer and DIY publisher from nothing. You've got to admire that. I have decided to make a better effort to keep up with my blog and maybe expand my horizons from just sex to other topics (like sex and cocktails, sex and food, sex and literature).

So, for those of you reading - what else would you like me to write about?

Cock Tales

2010-08-18T15:37:00.007-05:00

So this blog has a dual purpose. First, I'd like to talk about Bachelor #6 and Bachelor #8. I met Bachelor #8 a few weeks ago and after a few drinks and some great conversation I did manage to lure him back to my apartment. I actually had no intention of bringing him home that day. In fact, I sabotaged myself by wearing some not so sexy underwear and not cleaning my apartment. However, my hormones got the best of me and Bachelor #8 willingly obliged. However, the sex was not good at all. Maybe it was because I wasn't in the right frame of mind or maybe it was his not so large penis...not sure. The thing is that I really got along with him and he was a fantastic kisser. A bit of a douche bag, but fun to hang out with. Maybe the other guys I have been with have spoiled me. I mean Bachelor #4 and #6 can certainly rock my world. I guess I was expecting more of the same with this one. However, I know I must take some of the blame since I know I wasn't fully prepared. So, Bachelor #8 and I are going to give it a second try.

Now Bachelor #6...I'm actually reading his book right now. It deals with his sexual exploits and trust me, there are a lot of them. Bachelor #6 and I had a nice moment the other day. He opened up a bit about relationships and I must say that I find him fascinating. I don't know if I want to fuck him or make a bowl of popcorn and watch Sex and the City reruns with him. What he did for me on his last visit was nothing short of a miracle. I have been feeling really down in the dumps lately and wasn't sure I should even be inviting him over. However, he actually fucked me into a good mood. It was fantastic. Just what I needed. I've decided that, for the time being, I am just going to stick with Bachelors #4, #6, and #8 as play partners while I continue to look for the Bachelor who will be able to fulfill me emotionally as well as sexually.

Well, you've listened to my cock tales....now time for some cocktails.

3 Citrus Basil Cocktail

This is a great one to make in a batch and serve at your summer parties. However, I made a batch for myself and polished it off in an afternoon. I always use fresh juice (no bottled shit) because it just gives the cocktail a fresher flavor. Trust me, you will taste the difference.

Basil simple syrup
Bring 1/3 cup water and 2/3 cup sugar to boil in a sauce pan. Stir in 4 large basil sprigs and remove from heat. Let steep for 30 minutes.

Pour 2/3 cup fresh lime juice, 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice, and 1/3 cup fresh orange juice and 2 tbs raspberries (I used fresh, but you can use frozen) into a blender. Strain basil syrup into blender, pressing on the basil leaves to get all of the flavor out. Blend until smooth and strain into pitcher. Stir in 1 cup gin. Divide among 6 glasses filled with ice and garnish with basil sprigs.

Mexican Martini

I saw this one on a Food Network show and had to make it for myself. I think this is my new favorite summer cocktail. I think I’m going to try this same recipe, but substitute agave nectar for sugar and tequila for vodka. Also, the original recipe only called for ¼ cup vodka – clearly not enough for me so I took some liberties.

Boil ¼ cup water and ¼ cup granulated sugar over medium heat. Simmer until sugar is dissolved. Se aside to cool. Blend the juice of ½ a lime, 2 cucumbers (peeled and sliced), simple syrup and 4 cups water. Strain into a pitcher and add ¾ cup of vodka and ¼ cup triple sec. You can rim your glasses with chili-lime powder or salt. I used a mixture of salt and chili powder for mine.

Sage Advice

Sage syrup
Bring 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar to a boil. Add a handful or two of sage leaves and remove from heat. Stir. Cover. Let sit for 15 minutes and then strain into a glass container and cool in the fridge.

Muddle 4 cucumber wheels, juice of half a lime and 1oz sage syrup. Add 2 oz gin and some ice. Shake and strain into an old fashioned glass filled with ice.

A Teeny Tiny Emotional Breakdown

2010-08-13T11:34:00.003-05:00

The fact that I had a slight emotional breakdown is no big deal really. We all go through rough patches right? Well, mine was a bit more complicated as I decided to have said breakdown while having sex with Bachelor #4. I have to admit that I have been feeling out of sorts and extremely overwhelmed with work issues as of late. I thought that having Bachelor #4 over for a little play time would help me blow off some steam, and besides, I actually really like the guy. He treats me well and is very respectful of my feelings. This certainly came in handy when I decided to burst into tears during sex.

He immediately stopped what he was doing and comforted me as I let out my frustrations between sobs. He was so understanding and encouraging that it made me cry even more. What lead me to this break down? I think that I want and need more in a relationship besides sex. Don't get me wrong, the sex is great and there is no way that I am going celibate or any shit like that. However, I have been focusing so much on the sexual side of my needs that i totally forgot the emotional side. This is the side that wants a guy to go out with, to share some adventures with, to hold me for a little bit and sometimes (not all the time) wake up next to. Getting the sex is easy, but it's the rest of it that I can't seem to make happen. What I don't understand is why can't there be both? And how the hell do I go about getting it? And most importantly does Hallmark make some sort of 'sorry I had a breakdown while you were fucking me' card?

Bachelor #7 and His Dirty Little Secret

2010-07-30T20:28:00.004-05:00

Why am I incapable of liking a normal decent guy who actually seems to like me? I had met Bachelor #7 once before, but more of in a group setting. He seemed impressed by me and was pretty upfront in telling me that he liked my company and wanted to go out with me again. However, I didn't really feel a mutual attraction from the start. We exchanged a few e-mails and then he asked me out. So, I decided to take him up on the offer because he did seem like an interesting guy and I figured I owed him a second chance. We ended up meeting at a German restaurant in Lincoln Square and, while the company was good, I have to say that there just wasn't any spark and the spark is important to me. Here are a few things I had an issue with:

When I told him I majored in Journalism he proceed to talk about he hated journalists.
He made a comment about how he didn't like the uppity college educated people who lived in Lincoln Park.
He has a 6 year old daughter (a fact which he failed to mention until midway through the date)

Now this last one is pretty much a deal breaker for me and I also don't understand why he wouldn't have mentioned this in any of the multiple conversations we've had. It's not like saying you have dog or some hamsters - this is a human being who is very much part of your life. Also, in all honesty, I have not intention of making a child any part of my life.

While this is certainly someone I wouldn't mind grabbing a beer with every now and then I know that I am just not into him. So, now I'm stuck with the daunting task of sending him an e-mail and telling him how I feel. Unlike some men I've dated, I refuse to just leave him hanging. I feel I at least owe him a reason and the option to stay friends if he would like.

Bachelor # 6: The tattooed writer who doesn't drink

2010-07-27T12:14:00.009-05:00

Once again I have let life get in the way of keeping up with my blog. I won't bore you with all the details of the past few weeks. Let's just skip to the good parts. I have a 'new' Bachelor #6. I met this one on OkCupid and after a few brief and flirtatious e-mails and IMs we agreed to meet. From his pictures I could tell he was a very attractive tattooed hipster and most likely out of my league. We decided to meet at Duke of Perth, my stand by first date location.

As soon as he walked in to the restaurant the college girl in me developed a huge crush. He was covered in tattoos and sort of had a Pete Wentz thing going. He was wearing the traditional hipster summer wardrobe of a black t-shirt and cut off jean shorts. And he had a pierced nose. Yep, I had surly lucked out -what could a guy like that possibly want with someone like me? Shouldn't he be out dating adorable hipster girls somewhere in Logan Square?

So he sits down and orders a Ginger Ale...that's right, he doesn't drink. However, I am totally willing to look past that in his case. I start the conversation with asking him what he does and he tells me he used to be a hairdresser, but quit that to became a writer. At this point I'm pretty sure I'm on a date with a gay man. I'm just getting that vibe from his hairdressing background to his verbal cues. I will later be proven wrong by this, but for the time I'm a little discombobulated.

He tells me all about how he started his own publishing company and has 6 books out that started from his blog. He Has also traveled the world to speak about his experiences at universities. So, this guy is actually a serious writer and that English major in me is developing more of a crush every minute. What are the chances that I meet an interesting tattooed writer?

We continue to have a fantastic conversations about life, dating, douche bags like Tucker Max - this date is going really well. We exchange dating stories (which he clearly has more of). We talk about our sense of adventure and desire to meet new people. By the end I didn't know if I wanted to make him my BFF or take him home and tie him to my bed.

I ended up choosing the later. So, we've hooked up a few times since and chat a few times a week. He has refreshingly liberal views on sex and we talk very openly about it. His newest book is about male sexuality and his experiences with women, but it is by no means another 'I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell'. Is this guy long term? Probably not, but I'm certainly having fun with him for now.

Mad Girl Refuses to Date an Ass

2010-07-05T20:15:00.007-05:00

So Bachelor #6 actually never materialized and that position is still open. This was a guy I met on FetLife. I actually sought him out because he had tattoos, liked Tarantino and whiskey. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We exchanged a few e-mails and some pics and I felt pretty good about where this was going. He suggested we meet and we agreed to meet at the L &L (quite possible the only dive bar in Lakeview). He texted me this afternoon to confirm our date and I replied that I would be there. Well, about 45 minutes later I get this text:

Damit. 2 of my friends just showed up to take me somewhere and won't tell me where. Bastards. Raincheck? What does the rest of your week look like? I'm open any day but Wednesday. This sucks!! I was looking forward to this all weekend! :(

Seriously? Um, if my friends showed up two hours before I had a date planned I would most certainly turn them down. What sort of man lets his friends cock block him? I really don't have time for this. So, I posted my story on Facebook and decided that I would go with the advice of the first friend who replied. Of course, the advice was to ditch him. I texted him back with a simple 'my week is booked' and he replies: Dang. Can I be in touch later this week, make figure something out for next week?

Not quite sure I understand this one, but I really don't think this bodes well for any guy I want to get involved with. So, in honor of the date that never was I present you with a classic cocktail...

The Moscow Mule

2oz vodka

juice of have a lime

ginger beer

Juice lime into glass and fill with ice. Add vodka. Top with ginger beer.