are you kidding me?

I should be sleeping in on my day off right now.  Instead, I got up to use the rest room, checked my OKC account, got a message from B31 and now I have to write this blog.  So I REALLY like B31.  I've been thinking about him non stop since our last date.  I have not heard from him for almost 2 weeks so I just assumed that he dropped of the face of the earth like the rest of my bachelors do.  Then I get this message:

Hey, sorry for falling of the faces of the earth!  After freezing my ass off up north I  got home to all kinds of weird shit...my ex might be able to move to Chicago with her job.  I had a lot of fun when we went out and you know I want to do scary movie night.  I feel weird thinking about how fun it would be to hang out with you, but still thinking about my Ex way more than a sane man should.  W were together a few years before I moved here last month.  This is strange now, you're actually very cool, so instead of trying to sleep with you and then get weird about this shit...I decided that I should just put it out there then I don't feel like a dick.

Haha, since I'm only human I feel that I have to put this out there also, if your normal booty calls were all busy one night before December 1, you could send me a message on here anytime and I would want to get with you...but you already know that didn't you?

Are you kidding me?  I just can't win.  I've never had a guy be this straightforward and honest with me and I appreciate that. In fact, it makes me attracted to him even more. There is a huge part of me that is totally bummed about the girlfriend moving to the city.  If this bitch had really cared to begin with she would have made plans to move when he did.  However, I really want to get with him regardless.  I know that's a whole mess of complication (do I think I am going to steal him away from his girlfriend?) but if I don't hook up with him I think that will make me even more crazy.  I was planing on sleeping with him on scary movie night anyway.  So maybe I get a month of awesome hook ups and then just move on.  Knowing me I'll become attached, but at least this time I'll know why I'm getting dumped.  Weigh in with your thoughts.

B31. he's interested. i'm interested.

I won't lie, things have been tough in the dating world lately.  My last date with a new bachelor was in May and that didn't go so well.  Since then old bachelors have popped up here and there, but nothing has stuck. I'm still smitten with B10 and we hook up every few weeks, but he has a girlfriend and they are talking about moving to the suburbs.  B29 texted me on my birthday and now texts me every few days but hasn't taken me out yet and B17 is also messaging me, but has yet to ask me out.  It's all very frustrating.  Then I met B31 and things changed.  

I was pretty sure I've cycled through every decent guy in Chicago, but it turns out B31 just moved here a month ago.  We only exchanged a few quick messages and then he asked me out.  I love it when a guy asks me out instead of exchanging numerous messages with me.  We met at a local bar and I got him to dink a shot of malort which was pretty rad.  He's probably the most regular type of boy I've ever dated.  He's a bro but not a douchebag.  Oh, and he looks like Ryan Reynolds -super cute!  I'm not going to go into too much detail about our dates but we've had two good ones.  We finally kissed after our second date and then I got this message in my inbox shortly after I left him.

'Someday you'll invite me home with you right?  haha.  Like with my customers, I don't want to seem desperate and freak you out, but I hope you know I'm interested....lets eat Gyro's and do other stuff?'

This might not make much sense to an outsider, but it means he likes me and I like him too.  Can't wait to get him into bed and take advantage of him. 

fall book picks

There are so many good books coming out this fall that I’m overwhelmed.  I wish I could take October off just so I could catch up on my to read list.  Here’s what I plan to read.

I just started Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri and this is turning out to be one of my top pick for the fall.  It’s the story of two brothers and is set in 1960’s India.  This is a topic I really care nothing about, but I’m only in a few chapters and I’m hooked.  The writing is so powerful that I just can’t put it down.  If you haven’t read Interpreter of Maladies then I suggest you pick up a copy of that as well.

I’m not a huge Stephen King fan (although I do seem to like the few things I’ve read by him) but I’m going to give Doctor Sleep a try.  It’s a follow up to The Shining and this is one of the most anticipated books of the season. 

All of my bookseller peers rave about The Secret History by Donna Tartt.  It’s been on my to read list for a while and now she has a new book out called The Goldfinch.  I’m not sure which one I’ll start with, but from what I hear about her writing I should expect a powerful narrative.  Fingers crossed that I fall in love with her.

Tampa by Alissa Nutting has had a lot of controversy surrounding it.  First off the cover is hideous black velvet.  I hate gimmicky covers like this.  I wouldn’t have thought twice about this book until they reviewed it on Literary Disco (a book podcast I listen to).  The plot involves a young teacher who seduces her male students.  From what I understand the writing is pretty explicit and it seems more 50 Shades than Lolita.  I get the topic is taboo and I’m okay with that, but I have a feeling the book was written more to shock then to prove a point.  I’ll give it a try though and report back.

Cuckoo’s Calling is the surprise J.K. Rowling book that she wrote under the pseudonym Robert Gailbraith.  It’s Hollywood noir and is certainly not what I’d expect from here.  Reports say the writing is solid so it’s on my list.

The Bones of Paris by Laurie R. King looks right up my alley.  I’m a sucker for mysteries lately and I’ve had many people recommend King to me.  This one is set in Paris during the Jazz Age.

Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy.  I’m a huge Bridget Jones fan and can’t wait for the third book in the series to come out.  I don’t even care if it’s good – I just need my Bridge fix.

Meaty by Samantha  Irby.  This just satisfies my need to read funny memoires by funny girls with blogs.

The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison.  Basically for the ‘if you like Gone Girl’ crowd.  I’ve heard it’s good and it’s been on bestsellers.  Also, it’s set in Chicago so I’m biased.

And the book I’m most excited about?  Allegiant, the third book in the Divergent trilogy by Verionica Roth.  Teen. Dystopian.  Chicago.  That’s right.

These authors also have books out or coming out this fall: Elizabeth Gilbert, Amy Tan, Malcolm Gladwell, and Bill Bryson.

I know what you read last summer

I'm not a beach reads type of girl.  Mostly because I hate the sun and sand.  I'm also very rarely in the mood for some light fluffy chick lit book (unless there are vampires or zombies involved).  I pick books based on my mood, my destination, the weather and where my life is at that particular point in time.  Books are part of my memories.  They are what I've built my life on and I know they will always be there.  So here are some of my book recommendations for your summer adventures.

Feeling Quirky

I am in the midst of devouring Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan.  I haven't torn through the pages (okay, it's on my NOOK so that would be digital pages) of a book like this in a while.  It's like reading the Eyre Affair.  There are so many touchstones of modern living in this book.  Google plays a huge role in it and e-readers are a point of discussion as well.  There is also a book related mystery to solve.  I just love this book and can't put it down.  Get your copy right now.  You can thank me later.  Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell is another good option if you won't have time to sit down and read a whole novel.  This is her second collection of short stories.  She was a Pulitzer Finalist last year for her book Swamplandia (which I also recommend).  This collection of stories is bizarre and imaginative.  It's unlike anything I've read and it will certainly make you wonder how she comes up with her story ideas.  Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls by David Sedaris is another good recommendation.  I'm normally not the type to recommend something on audio, but David Sedaris is just such a joy to listen to.  I've read all his books and I've seen him speak before.  He writes humorous essays about his life and is a great suggestion for all types of readers/listeners.  That's why I think this would make a great companion to any road trip.

Want to be thrilled?

Dan Brown (of Da Vinci Code fame) has a new book out.  Inferno takes place in Florence and centers around the theme of Dante's Inferno.  Yes, he's a summer blockbuster kind of writer, but I'm still looking forward to reading it.  I did enjoy the fast pace and historical aspects of Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons and I think this one is going to live up to the same expectations.  However, if you are a bit of a literary snob then might I suggest you pick up something from Umberto Eco?  I just placed Foucault's Pendulum on my wishlist and think this will appeal to those of you who are looking for more after reading Inferno.  The writing is a higher quality and most of his novels are set in Italy.  If you don't mind a bestseller then maybe you should try Daniel Silva.  He's on my list too and I'm going to start with The Kill Artist.  The main character is an ex-Israeli assassin turned art restorer.  This looks like a series I can get hooked on.

I also have books by Joe Hill on my short list.  His stuff is on the scarier side but he's been recommended by a few friends.  I guess I will just have to read him with all the lights on in my apartment.

And for the literary minded

I just started reading Life After Life by Kate Atkinson.  It's a story about a girl who keeps dying.  She will die and then the story will start again and move on as if she did not die.  It's beautifully written, but I think it's going to be one of those books that will take me a while to digest.  If you are a sucker for a literary adventure (think Possession by Byatt or Shadow of The Wind by Zafon) then you should pick up The Bookman's Tale by Charlie Lovett.  It's the story of a man who loses his wife, moves to a small town in England to set up an antique bookstore and finds himself wrapped up a literary mystery.  

Because I like humorous memoirs by women

Lets Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson has everything from taxidermied hamsters to the main character getting her hand stuck in a cows vagina.  It's funny and strange and now I'm dying to meeting Mrs. Lawson in person.  I also got How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran which I suspect is the British version of Bossypants.  My guilty please pick is Drinking and Tweeting by Brandi Glanville.  She's one of the Real House Wives of Beverly Hills and I can't wait to see what this mouthy broad is going to say.  But I think the one book that will make my summer is the new memoir by Jen Lancaster, The Tao of Martha.  I'm a staunch Lancaster supporter, but her last two works of fictions haven't lived up to my expectations.  I think this one is going to be awesome.  Plus, I've met her in person a few times and I just really like her.  Totally BFF material.

and for the non fiction readers

Eighty Days by Matthew Goodman is the story Nely By and Elizabeth Bisland's race around the world.  Bly was a reporter and certainly the type of lady I'd want to be friends with.  In 1889 she raced around the world in an effort to outpace Jules Verne's fictional 80 day voyage.  If you like Erik Larson or Laura Hillenbrand then this would be a great pick for you.  I also think that Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg will be a good summer read.  She's the COO of Facebook and writes about gender roles in the work force.  It's not overly feminist and I think many women will enjoy hearing what she has to say.  And for the quirky read I suggest The Drunken Botanist by Amy Stewart.  She details the botany behind some of our favorite spirits.  It's a pretty interesting read for cocktail and biology geeks.

don't bother

May 29th 5:40 pm
Mad Girl: Are we still on for tomorrow?

May 30 9:27 am
MG: Morning Sunshine

May 30 6:59 pm
B23: Still working ugh these apartments will kill me.  I'll make it up to you.

May 30 8:11pm
MG:  Don't bother

What is wrong with these guys I choose to date?  When you make plans with a girl you keep them or you don't fucking keep her waiting all day and ditch her at the last minute.  I was willing to give B23 second chance because I liked him and the sex was pretty awesome, but no man is worth this.  I'm throwing in the towel and not going to go out of my way to date guys anymore.  I'm going to reinvest the time I put into into dating into looking for a new job.  The bachelors of Chicago are just going to have to wait while I tend to my future happiness.