B30

I'm going to start at the end of this tale.  This past Tuesday I found myself walking home in a horrible downpour without an umbrella.  I was drunk and spent most of the walk home ranting to my friends about my horrible date.  By the time I got home my adorable green dress was clinging to my body and I was ready to swear off men forever.  I just couldn't take any more bad dates and boy was this one bad.  The strange thing was that it was really only the last 20 minutes that got awkward.

I joined a new dating site a few weeks ago (How About We) because I am pretty sure that I've dated every decent guy on OKC and I liked the idea of suggesting a date right off the bat.  It's good to know who wants to go for a jog or catch a Sox game on a first date and reject them right away.  I've been messaged by a few guys, but hadn't responded to any of them until I met B30.  He seemed like a cool guy who was into good beer and food.  We exchanged a few messages and then just decided to meet up.  He suggested a gin pairing dinner at Barrelhouse Flat.  This seemed interesting but I don't like to do dinner on a first date.  It's nice to have an out if things go south.  I knew I'd be taking a chance, but this seemed like fun so I said yes.

We ended up meeting at Atlas Brewing for a beer first.  He had a saison ready for me and I liked that.  I wasn't really attracted to him right off the bat, but he seemed like an nice guy.  We chatted for a bit and then we got our tab.  I put in $10 for my beer and was slightly annoyed that he didn't offer to pay for the first round.  Whatever, I realize that most guys don't make this gesture and i'm fine with going dutch on dates.

We headed across the street to Barrellhouse Flats for the Leatherbee Gin dinner.  It was four courses paired with gin cocktails.  The food wasn't anything mind blowing (although there was pork belly!) but the cocktails were yummy and I was getting drunker with each course.  I had to start pacing myself at the end and realized that maybe a dinner like that was not such a good idea because I was getting pretty drunk and not feeling so hot.

B30 and I chatted away and I could tell that he was really impressed with my food knowledge.  Once again, I found myself in the position of being with a guy who was probably going to be more into me then I was into him.  However, I thought back to B29 and how I wasn't really into him in the beginning either.  I'm willing to give guys a chance to grow on me.

Dessert came and then the check.  This is when it started to get weird.  The bill was $120 not including tip.  I put in $80 to start and he put in $55.  I made the comment that we needed a little more to cover tip and he put in about $5 more.  Weird.  The waiter came to get the tab and I really was too drunk to argue with my date so I had to put it on my debit because I didn't have enough to cover the rest of the tab plus tip.  I pocketed the money and took care of the tab.  B30 then made an off hand comment that basically made me feel like he thought I was taking advantage of him.  It was really weird and my drunk brain couldn't process it.  I told him I had to use the restroom because I had to get out of that tense situation.  I kind of wanted to make an exit through the back door because things had just gotten really awkward.

I came back to the table and sternly insisted it was time to go.  We said brief good-byes and then I took off up the street.  After drying off that night I went back to my wallet to count the money I had.  It was $110 dollars ($80 of that was mine).  Was he too drunk to realize that he hadn't given me enough money to even cover the bill let alone the tip?  Was he just cheap?  I'm totally confused and so very disappointed in this date.  How did I end up footing most of the bill and soaking wet?  I really need to stick to my golden rules of dating and maybe it's time to find a guy who is willing to foot the bill.

Hey!  Remember that time I dropped off the face of the earth for about 6 months?  Let me give you a brief update on my world.

• Up until about a week ago I've been exclusively dating B29.  I got past the whole kids thing and grew to really like him.  However, dating a cop is not easy.  He's been working 6 day work weeks which leaves little time for me.  We were seeing each other once every 10 days or so and sometimes only for a quick lunch date.  Not good at all and this made me realize that I do need a little bit of attention (and a lot more sex) in a relationship.
• My sister got married on NYE and it was the party of the decade.  Great time and everything went off perfectly.  I love planning weddings and other big events.  However the stress of the wedding (fun stress) and work (not fun) nearly killed me.
• Speaking of work...I was at my tipping point and had more than a few work related nervous breakdowns.  It's been tough, but I have a new store and have actually been considering getting out of retail.  I'm looking now so maybe there will be some change soon.  For now I'm less overwhelmed and don't want to hide under my desk and cry (on most days).

So this is where I'm at and I'm not quite sure where I'm heading.  My dream life would be a new job (office manager, beverage director, professional beer drinker) that pays me a bit more than I'm making now, a new boy that treats me well and a new apartment in a new neighborhood.  I'm working on all of these as we speak so I promise to keep you updated.  

Thanks for sticking with me,

Mad Girl

xxxxx

bachelor demographics

I've decided to update my demographic list.  I'm can be a bit of an analytical gal and I'm always interested in looking at trends and numbers.  So this is my most recent update of 'research'.  I think I just need to date an Indian and I'll have dated every Village People character.  Also, is it sad that I don't actually remember the names of most of these Bachelors?

number/race/ age/ neighborhood/ job/* if I've slept with him

Bachelor#1/white/38/Lincoln Square/Lawyer/*

Bachelor #2/white/34/Logan Square/Sound Tech

B3/???/31/Lakeview/IT/*

B4/Palestinian and Black/28/suburbs/student and soccer coach/*

B5/creature of middle earth/34/Loop/works in a dungeon

B6/Mexican/36/Lakeview/writer/*

B7/white/31/near O'Hare airport/construction worker

B8/white/33/Uptown/teacher/*

B9/white/32/Lincoln Park/psychologist

B10/Mexican/31/Bridgeport/IT/*

B11/Colombian/33/Andersonville/IT

B12/white/38/Lakeview/design/*

B13/white/34/Rogers Park/teacher

B14/Indian/31/Uptown/IT/*

B15/white/40/Lakeview/musician

B16/Indian/33/River North/marketing

B17/white/40/Andersonville/web design/*

B18/white/31/Wicker Park/IT

B19/Mexican/33/somewhere on the south side/graphic design/*

B20/AA/32/Roscoe Village/Apple employee

B21/white/31/Lincoln Square/banking/*

B22/Egyptian/Greek/36/Northbrook/med school

B23/white/26/Lakeview/rehabs apartments/*

B24/Greek/38/North Center/Medical Engineer

B25/white/38/Private Investigator

B26/white/34/Food writer and IT guy

B27/Chinese-American/46/corporate travel

B28/white/40/restaurant owner

B29/Puerto-Rican and Arabic/43/police officer*

B30/Black/32/self employed

B31/White/28/IT

B32/White/27/manny*

Fun fact: I've slept with 14 our of 32 Bachelors.  That's 44% of my Bachelors.  What percentage makes me a slut?

giving B23 a second chance

B23:  I miss hanging out with ya
Mad Girl:  Well you are the one who dropped off the face of the earth
B23:  I guess I did but you made it seem like you wanted to date more than just me

So this is the recent e-mail exchange I've had with long lost B23.  It's been about two months since I gave up on him and I was shocked as hell to find a message in my OKC inbox the other day.  It's got me wondering what I did to make him believe that I wanted to date other people because he was the only one I was dating at the time and I really liked him.

I think I'm going to give him a second chance and try to figure out exactly what gave him that impression.  I know I try to play it cool and sometimes that comes across as uninterested.  I think I do it to protect myself from heartbreak (thanks B19).  So maybe I need to be upfront with B23 about how that made me feel and how I actually did want to date just him.  I mean, the guy made me carbonara for Pete's sake.  You don't just go throwing away a chance to be with carbonara making man who is good at sex and fun to be around.

To complicate this situation a bit more, I've been seeing B29 again.  Remember how I ditched him because he had kids?  Well a few days later he started texting me again and and we've been speaking ever since and have even gone on a few dates.  I don't know what to make of it all.  I think that part of me just likes the attention (he texts me every morning and calls me beautiful).  I also like a guy who doesn't take no for an answer.  Also, I do have this thing for cops...  However, I'm not feeling the spark with him.  I like him, but don't necessarily desire him.  He came over the other night (we still haven't had sex yet....very strange for me) and we had a heavy make out session and just cuddled on my couch.  It was nice, but I'm not sure I want us to go further.  I don't want to lead him on and I'm really confused about what I should be doing with him.  I think that when it comes to dating confusion is the name of the game.

B29 and his little suprise

This was supposed to be a happy blog about how I think I may have met someone worth keeping around.  B29 was also supposed to be kid free.

B29 was someone who responded to my Dark Lord ad (the one where I say I'm not interested in anyone who has or wants to have kids).  We exchanged a few e-mails and then started texting.  Turns out he is a cop (hot!) and a little kinky.  He's also half Peurto Rican (you know I love the Latin men)  I felt I was on the right track.  We finally met about two weeks ago and had a nice date.  I wasn't wowed with him, but I did like him and felt that there was definitely more chemistry via text.

We've spent that last two weeks texting every single day.  It's been nice and I've been looking forward to dating him again.  We finally managed to meet up again last night.  So there we are at Sheffield's sharing some beers and basket of ribs and wings.  I'm being my normal Chatty Cathy and decided to ask him some serious questions.  I had been warned about married men working the dating sites so I flat out asked him if he had ever been married.  Turns out he was recently (as of February) divorced   Okay, I can deal with that.  He was married for 13 years so he can obviously commit.  On a whim I decide to ask if he has kids.  I said this almost jokingly because I've been talking to him for almost a month and he hasn't once mentioned kids.  Also, he knows how much I hate them.  Oh and there is the fact that I put that disclaimer on my FUCKING AD.

Surprise....he has two sons who are 6 and 8.  What the fuck!  I'm sure he saw my reaction to that, but I tried to play it cool and knew I needed time to processes this information.  However, a big part of me wanted to just end the date and run.  We continued our date and had a nice time, but by this point I wasn't even feeling like kissing him and just ran into my apartment when he dropped me off.

Now that I've had time to process I know what I need to do.  I need to let him know that I'm really not cool with the kids.  The part that bothers me the most is that I clearly stated this in my ad and he proceeded to date me without being upfront about that.  Also, I'm not into him enough that I would be willing to accept  kids into my life.  This is a deal breaker for me and I'm not going to budge.  Guess it's back to the drawing board.