Tuesday, December 6, 2011


I'm starting to think that B21 is just not what I'm looking for. He's actually starting to irritate me a bit. I came to this conclusion this morning when I awoke from a restless nights sleep and found that he was sleeping in the middle of the bed while I had a tiny sliver on the edge. I'm used to having my bed to myself, but I never seemed to have a problem with B10 who is actually a much bigger man than B21. I actually found myself faking a sore throat this morning just so I didn't have to give him a blow job.

Anyway, it's not just that. I think B21 has a lot of qualities that I've been looking for. He's funny, he cooks and he enjoys sex. However, something just isn't clicking. He messages me every day (mostly about sex) and this is starting to get annoying. Also, he doesn't bring his own condoms. If I am springing for birth control I believe a guy should supply the condoms. Of course I keep some on hand, but we went through my box yesterday and this morning he reminded me to buy condoms. Listen, buddy if you are going to jump my bones every 5 minutes then you need to supply the condoms.

Also, we haven't gone out since our first date. He only comes to my place and always spends the night because it's close to work. This is fine every now and then, but I need my space and sometimes i just want to go out to dinner and come home alone.

I know this is a lot of complaining and I should just be happy to have someone in my life, but I just can't settle. It's not my style. I know how I want to feel when I'm in a relationship and this is not it. I really wish I could combine the best qualities of B10 and B19 into one man. Now the question is what's my next step? I can probably avoid him for the next few weeks and blame the holidays, but I have to own up to this at some point. Do I text him or wait until we hang out next?