Tuesday, December 28, 2010

surviving Christmas

Maybe I'm a bit of a Grinch, but Christmas can go suck it. In fact, the whole month of December can suck it. For me, December is about survival. It's sort of like training for a marathon and the month of December is the big day. By the end of the holiday season I'm left in a state of pain and exhaustion. Most people spend December attending holiday parties and visiting family. However, I work retail and I spend the month dealing with the general public -most of which who do not spend a lot of time in retail establishments and therefore, don't know the rules.

I spend December running around like a mad woman dealing with people who don't understand how sales tax works or the fact that the online price is different than the in store price. Not only don't they understand it, but they want to argue about it and waste my valuable time. These type of people can suck it.

The worst part of the month is the two weeks before Christmas when I work 6 day work weeks. This usually drives me to the brink of insanity and takes until about mid February to recover. I'm currently sitting in an apartment that looks like it hasn't been cleaned in months. There are dirty dishes and clothes everywhere and a nice film of grime. I'm pretty sure there is a dead body somewhere in my kitchen as well. Tomorrow is my first real day off in 2 weeks and I have to spend it digging myself out of this filth. I also plan to shave my legs. This hasn't been done in a bout 2 weeks and I'm feeling a little too bohemian for my liking. Clearly, there haven't been visits from Bachelors so I will also need get my love life jump started.

Last year I promised myself that I would not be working retail during the holidays this year. Perhaps I can finally make that a reality. I plan to get serious about finding a new job after the new year. Who knows, I may be one jolly mother fucker by the time Christmas rolls around next year. Perhaps I will be able to join everyone down and Whoville for holiday festivities.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Can you believe that it’s been one year since I started this blog? Let me just start by saying that I just watch Scott Pilgrim vs The World and I’m very happy that I did not acquire 7 evil exes. Hell, I didn’t even date a vegan this year. (if you haven't seen this movie yet then I suggest you do ASAP -it's pretty rad) I feel that a I got to document a lot of my life this past year. Sure, a few things fell through the cracks, but MadGirl’s Manifesto serves as my own little journey through life, food and sex.

When I started this blog I really didn’t have a purpose. I figured I’d just sit down and write and see what sort of shit I could spew on to the page. I’m not sure if I want to refocus for this next year or just keep going. What if I finally settle down with one of my Bachelors? What would that be like? Or maybe I should just stop getting so personal and focus on food and drink? Does the world really need another foodie blog? I think maybe I will leave it open to my readers...what's working? What's not? What do you want to read more of?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The 12 Bachelors of X-Mas

So here we are. It's almost the end of the year and I've dated 12 Bachelors and slept with with 7 of those 12. Is this really a lot considering all the catching up I had to do? I'm glad that I finally got over whatever it was that was keeping me from dating and just dove in. It really has been a new adventure and I hope there are more to come. Who knows, maybe I will end up in a relationship with one of these 12. So, in honor of my 12 Bachelors I've decided to do a bit of a recap...

Bachelor #1 - I really liked this one. He was the lawyer who was a few years older and a lot of fun to hang out with. Great conversation, good chemistry, loved his dog...and then he dropped of the face of the earth. Current Status: hoping he will wake up from his coma and remember he owes me a date.

Bachelor #2 - The one I really wasn't that excited about and ditched for Bachelor #1. Ironically he contacted me recently and we've started dating a gain. However, I feel he's more of a drinking buddy than anything else. Current Status: Dating, but I don't know for how long.

Bachelor #3 - He's actually the one that started it all about a year ago. You may remember him as Aquaman. Current Status: probably due for another guest appearance in my bedroom. I also still have his cuff links.

Bachelor #4 - My first foray into the kinky lifestyle. A genuinely good person who has been very sweet to me. Likes anal sex a little too much for my liking though... We haven't slept together in months, but still keep in contact from time to time. Current Status: Possible play time very soon.

Bachelor #5 - Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Worst Date of The Year. Current Status: living somewhere in Middle Earth.

Bachelor #6 - The extremely hot tattooed writer who has fucked most of the girls in Chicago. Awesome, hot sex and great conversation. Sometimes I look at this guy and think "what are you doing with me?". I can tell you that the 17 year old me is very jealous. Current Status: Still on rotation.

Bachelor #7 - Mr. Blue Collar worker who also had a kid that he didn't tell me about until halfway through our date. Current Status: Ditched him.

Bachelor #8 - Lance Armstrong type. Mediocre sex. Current Status: 2 strikes and he's out.

Bachelor #9 - Looked like Adam Sandler. Kept putting himself down during our date. Nice guy, but not for me. Current Status: ignored him after the first date. Didn't have the heart to turn him down.

Bachelor #10 - My kinky rockabilly boy. Not only does he come over and dominate me, but he sticks around to cuddle and watch Robert Rodriguez movies as well. Current Status: Seeing each other weekly.

Bachelor #11 - We had our first date a few weeks ago and are going on our second this Friday. Really like his company and we seem to have a good time. Current Status: dating.

Bachelor #12 - Just had a fantastic first date consisting of beer, bacon and unplanned sex. Hopefully there's more to come. Current status: dating.

So with this recap done, I'd like to ask you which one is your favorite Bachelor? Cast your votes for Bachelor of the year now.

Bachelor #12....and then he kissed me

I didn't know if I'd make it to 12 by the end of the year, but it turns out that 12 may just be my lucky number. I met Bachelor #12 on OkCupid where we QuickMatched each other. I started things off with my usual witty e-mail and he immediately messaged me back and suggested we just skip the chit chat and meet up. So a week later we had our first date. This date had everything a girl could hope for: bacon, craft beer, good conversation, laughter, kissing in a bar, promises of dates to Hooters and drunken sex. But I'm getting ahead. Let's start with the beginning of the night....

We met at this place called Paddy Longs which is your average neighborhood bar with a fantastic beer list. However, the best thing about this place is the bacon centric menu. Bachelor #12 arrived a little after me and I liked him for the start. He looks like your average joe, but I come to find out that he's actually an artist who has had shows in galleries. He works a day job in marketing, and is going to pursue a doctorate in psychology. The conversation was great and there weren't any awkward pauses or moments. I think I really won him over when I told him how much I liked Hooters and we agreed to go there for our second date.

Everything was going well and then he suggested we order a flight of bacon and I think i swooned a bit. So over bacon and more beers we got to know each other. When the bacon board was we ordered the beer battered bacon strips. It was pure evil and I really shouldn't even be alive right now. He might as well have pulled out a speedball for dessert. My insides are still paying for it, but I do not regret. So, if you are in the mood for bacon done right then bring your Imodium and head to Paddy Longs.

The date was going really well and he suggested we move on to a second bar. That's always a good sign because we could have easily parted ways right there. Our second bar was another neighborhood pub where we drank some Guinness and talked about music with the bartender (who's dad was Trent Reznor's body guard). We were sitting at the bar having a really good time and then he asked me if he could kiss me. I hesitated a bit because I'm anti PDA, but we kissed and it wasn't awkward. He said he wanted to get that out the way now so it wouldn't be strange later....yep, I was smitten.

And as if all of the beer and bacon wasn't enough we ended up at the Duke of Perth. It turns out that he actually lives close to me so we walked by his apartment on the way (I made a mental note on the convenience of dating within my neighborhood). I was pretty drunk by the time we hit the Duke and probably should have stopped with the last place, but I was really enjoying myself. So we drank some more and I ran into an employee which was a little strange because this is the second time I've run into this employee at the Duke and each time I'm with a different guy. We left the Duke and at this point I gave Bachelor #12 some options:

1) We part ways and make plans to go to Hooters some time soon
2) He comes back to my apartment, we have sex and then still go to Hooters sometime
3) He comes back to my apartment, we have sex, and he drops off the face of the earth

He choose option 2. Now, let me say that I did not intend to bring Bachelor #12 home. I had just assumed this was a real date - which it was. I hadn't shaved my legs, had an ugly bra and underwear on and my apartment was a mess. However, I was drunk and horny and just really wanted to have sex with this guy. Now we also have the first awkward sex out of the way.

The sex was drunk, hot and little kinky. However, I suspect we are going do a much better job when we haven't had so much to drink. I was way too drunk and had very little motor skills. I even had to sneak into the bathroom to vomit at one point. So, not your most romantic first sex, but I like making my own rules when it comes to dating and relationships. I don't feel it was a one night stand and who says a gal can't have a little fun on the first date.

I'm not sure where this is going, but I think I want it to go somewhere. He hasn't texted me yet, but if I don't hear from him by the end of the day I will text him and see what happens. If things are meant to work out then they will. (But just in case, keep your fingers crossed from me and Bachelor #12).

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

MadGirl's Favorite Things

I may not be Oprah, but I do have a few favorite things I've discovered this past year. Sadly, you will not be going home with any of these things, but do feel free to use this as inspiration for my Christmas present:) Here are some of the products, places, activities, etc that I've come to love.

  • Chocolate Truffle face and and body scrub from Mojo Spa - This shit is the bomb! Handmade with real cocoa - it's divine. (www.mojospa.com)
  • The Supernatural face powder by Philosophy - I carry this with me for on the go touch ups. Love the compact design and mirror that's included. Super easy to use. (http://www.philosopy.com/)
  • Global chef's knife - My pride and joy. Set me back about $100, but well worth the investment. This knife gets me cooking.
  • Ginger Beer - Not only is it delicious by itself, but it's the key ingredient in my new favorite drink: The Moscow Mule.
  • Chicago Architecture Foundation Membership - CAF members get to go on over 80 free tours! I've been on two so far and they are fantastic. Plus the staff of volunteers has excellent customer service skills. (http://www.caf.archicecture.org/)
  • truffle salt - I do have an obsession with truffle oil (it's like an aphrodisiac for me). I finally purchased truffle salt and my baked potatoes and popcorn haven't been the same since.
  • red lipstick - Finally got bold enough to start wearing this out. Haven't found the perfect one yet though.

  • The Passage by Justin Cronin - Post apocalyptic vampire novel. I wasn't quite sure about this from the start, but the book ended up consuming me (and a month of my reading time this summer).
  • Ad Hoc at Home - Favorite cookbook of the year. Makes a great wedding/housewarming gift.
  • nook - I've succumbed to the e-reader generation and feel no shame. What was life like before my nook? Not only is it convenient, but I feel I am a much more efficient reader now. (http://www.nook.com/)
  • Pink Martini- I know the band's been around for while, but I finally fell in love with them when I caught them rehearsing for a concert in in Grant Park. (http://www.pinkmartini.com/)
  • She and Him - Zooey Deschanel...I'm smitten. (http://www.sheandhim.com/)
  • Blackdagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward - Nothing like a new trashy vampire series to get me though my gall bladder surgery and recovery. (http://www.jrward.com/)
  • Sleeping Beauty - Haven't seen this in ages, but purchased it as soon as it came out of the elusive Disney vault.
  • Snow White/ Alice in Wonderland - also out of the vault this year.
  • Modern Family - Best TV show of the year. Love the gay couple!
  • Drop Dead Diva - Another fantastic show.
  • The Walking Dead - Because who doesn't love zombies?


The Local Option - A bar right up the street from my work. They have about 20 craft beers on tap. Me like. (http://www.thelocaloptionchicago.com/)

farmers market - Made it out more times this year than ever before. It's always fun to see what's in season. (http://www.chicagogreencitymarket.org/)

History Pub Crawls with the Chicago History Museum - History and booze - it's a win-win situation. (http://www.chicagohistory.org/)

Jamaica - No problem man! Can't wait to return to this island paradise where the rum flows freely and the locals are always up for a good time. Also, got to do zip lining when I was there!
The Chopping Block - Took a knife skills class here and really want to go back for more. (http://www.thechoppingblock.net/)

Drinks Over Dearborn - This is the perfect place to pick up odds and ends for my bar and acquire a new bottle of something to enjoy. They also hold classes here. (http://www.drinksoverdearborn.com/)


Peapod - Groceries delivered to my apartment! (http://www.peapod.com/)

Groupon - Best. Idea. Ever. I'm addicted. (http://www.groupon.com/)

FetLife - Who knew that I had a kinky side? (http://www.fetlife.com/)

Monday, November 22, 2010

4 am rant

It's almost 4am and I'm having one of my late night online sessions. I've been doing this a lot lately. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and go online for an hour then fall back to sleep. I fell a bit like a zombie right now. Speaking of zombies, are you all watching Walking Dead? I'm really loving it and think I'll read the graphic novels.

I haven't been able to sleep the last few nights because I have work issues on my mind. It seems that there is always something going on at work that causes me to stress out. I realize that retail management is a stressful job, but this is all just starting to take its toll. I was talking to a friend the other day and i figured that my average workday is 11 hours when you factor commute in. I'm starting to think that this is not the best quality of life for me. However, I've been doing this for 10 years and am not quite sure what else I'm qualified to do. Also, I can't really afford to make less than what I'm making now because I refuse to go into more debt.

So I'm thinking about some options:
win the lotto
marry a rich old man with a bad cough
go on Jeopardy or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
invent something fantastic like the snuggie or shamwow
rob a bank
write a book, get it published and be invited on Oprah to talk about said book

Friday, November 19, 2010

Bachelor #11

You know it's a good date when the guy stays out until 1am and has to get up at 5am the next day. I met Bachelor #11 on OkCupid. We exchanged a few e-mails and I decided that he might be worth a date so I accepted his invitation to Hop Leaf. Picking an awesome bar known for its Belgian beers is certainly a way to get my attention.

I arrived at the bar and took a seat across from him. I can usually tell how the date will be in the first few minutes. If it's awkward and uncomfortable that is certainly not a good sign. However we fell into conversation and there wasn't any sort of awkwardness involved. What I appreciate about Bachelor #11 is that we just sort of bounced back and forth, letting each other take their turn. It was a totally equal exchange of dialogue. I also like that he had a good sense of humor and we seemed to see eye to eye on a lot of things. I think the only weird thing was when he asked me how long my longest relationship was and I had to explain about how I really wasn't a dater until recently. Turns out he's Mr. Commitment with most of his relationships lasting 2 to 3 eyars.

I also seem to have some sort of thing with Latin guys who work in IT. Bachelor #11 is Colombian. He's pretty good looking in that douchbag sort of way, but he certainly not a douche. He is passionate about music, loves to cook, has traveled extensively and has a membership to the art museum. This one could be a keeper.

We polished off two beers and I was expecting the date to end there, but it didn't. He suggested one more beer and this is when I knew the feelings were mutual. A three drink first date is always a good sign. So we had our third beer and he was kind enough to walk me to my train.

As luck would have it, I also think that things are progressing beyond just sex with Bachelor #10. I'm not sure where it's heading, but he did pay me another visit last night and talked about how he wished I lived closer so he could see me more ofen. He also left one of the plugs for his ear here. That is now three items that he's left at my apartment and I'm beginning to think he's marking his territory. Not sure how I feel about that, but i do know I like having him around.

Friday, November 12, 2010

some more about my bachelors

I just finished watching Paranormal Experience and am a little freaked out. I know I shouldn't be watching that before bed. It's not that the movie was particular gruesome or anything. I just tend to get spooked by movies like that. Earlier this afternoon I watched Walking Dead and that didn't scare me. I feel I am pretty prepared for a zombie attack. I'm sure that the likely hood of a demon possession and a zombie attack are nill, yet still I find myself needing a distraction right now. Wish I had Bachelor #10 here....

Last night Bachelor #10 came over to help relive me of some of my stress. It worked. After playtime we sat on my couch and talked while he held me. It was nice. He's a bigger guy and I feel vulnerable and girlish around him. This time he brought leather cuffs over. If you are looking for a way to spice up your love life then I suggest you try them. They were actually shockingly comfy and he was kind enough to leave them here. I also still have his riding corp and suspect that my bedroom might soon turn into sex toy shop...

Even though I tend to be dominate in my real life I like the idea of submitting in the bedroom. I'm confident, independent and can be quite aggressive because of my job. However, I'm finding that I have this other side that just wants to be dominated. At least, by the right guy. I'm selective about my partners. They have to be people I can have a conversations with and they have to make me comfortable. Never in a million years did I think I'd find myself here. I never fathomed that there was anything more than a vanilla lifestyle for me. I also never thought I'd be sharing any of this on a blog, but I suspect I'm not the only kinkster out there...maybe just the only one who's willing to talk openly about it :) These are ideas and emotions that I'm still trying to work out, but I feel like I'm starting to figure out what I need from a relationship.

I don't really think Bachelor #10 is boyfriend material, but I am growing quite fond of him and can't really explain why. I tend to get these attachments to my bachelors. I think it's a girl thing. I'm not even 100% sure if I want a boyfriend right now. I also don't like the idea of not being able to have sex with Bachelor #6 every now and then. I don't think most guys would be cool if their girlfriend kept a few guys on the side. I know I certainly couldn't handle that. Clearly, these are all issues I need to work out before I'm relationship ready. I guess if I do find the right guy then these other bachelors really won't matter -right?

Monday, November 8, 2010

I like him, but I don't LIKE him

I think I might be getting better at this dating thing. At least, I'm starting to figure out the signals. Like tonight when Bachelor #2 gave a few subtle hints that he wanted to be invited over and then offered to walk me home at the end of the night. I let him walk me home and when he got here he asked what floor I lived on. I wanted to answer 'the floor you are certainly not going to see tonight'.

Besides the fact that my apartment was a disaster, I just don't think I'm really into him. I like him and like that I've found a drinking buddy, but I'm just not feeling it with this one. So, do I come out and tell him (remember I've already rejected him once) or maybe just keep dating him and see what happens? Does this thing called a 'spark' actually exist? I keep thinking that maybe since I like this guy enough that that's all I should really hope for. However, I've never been the one to settle, but am I just being too picky?

Meanwhile I've been exchanging texts with Bachelor #10 all night. I just requested he bring handcuffs and he's willing to oblige. When I asked him if there was anything I could do for him he responded: nah..chances are, if I do want something I'll probably just take it. Now that gives me some fantastic shivers of anticipation and let us not forget that he still has his riding crop at my place....

Friday, November 5, 2010

This is NOT a Diet

A few weeks ago I picked up a copy of Eat Right For Your Type, which is a book that talks about what foods are best for each blood type. Turns out I'm a type O, which is the oldest and rarest blood type out there. I think that's pretty cool -I like being rare. You'll be shocked to find out that I'm not one for diets or healthy eating. I prefer to keep my girlish figure by feeding it lots of carbs, cheese and booze. When I started reading the book I thought it was going to ask me to give up everything I love and eat only carrot sticks. Turns out that the Type O diet is based on prehistoric man who used to eat a lot of protein (eggs, meat, seafood, nuts). I was in luck.

Now, there are certain things that I should 'avoid' as Type O. Milk, beans and grains being some of the big ones. Apparently they fuck up my digestive track and make me fat. I've spent the last week trying to get more of the beneficial foods into my meals. This meant experimenting with kale and collard greens. Um...green leafy vegetables are NOT delicious. I had to trick myself and eat a bite with my meat because I found them so unsavory. I think I'm going to have to treat myself like a 3 year old and sneak these veggies into my meals. Luckily I like spinach and broccoli.

I've certainly strayed a bit this past week (maybe a few drinking binges and some fried food). However, overall I'm quite proud of myself and the healthy meals I've cooked. I've even brought my lunch to work. My consumption of the bad things is down and I'm eating more fruits and veg than ever before. Sadly I'm not hitting the required 3-4 servings a day. Have you tried to eat 4 servings of vegetables each day? It's hard. I've also noticed that my body is not hating me as much. There a little less need for Imodium these days which is something i've needed a lot since I removed my gallbladder.

So does this mean I'm on a diet? Fuck no. I assure you that when you go out to eat with me I will not be ordering the most sensible thing on the menu. This just means that I'm going to make healthier choices when I'm in control of what is one my plate. Yes, Chipotle and I will still have our special relationship and I will NEVER give up cheese, but maybe I'll actually start treating my body better and see where that gets me. Couldn't hurt right?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Random Fall Rant

It's windy here - really windy, but I guess that's to be expected. Everyone is talking about the wind like it's some sort of major event. Don't we have anything better to talk about? Isn't weather conversation just polite filler? Warm weather at the end of October just makes me restless (and slightly grumpy). I'm a huge fan of Fall. I just wish it would arrive earlier and stick around a little later. Fall always brings a certain promise of something. That fall breeze awakens something in me. Good things happen in the Fall. It was almost a year ago that I started (finally) to date. It was also last Fall when I started this blog. So what will this Fall bring for me?

I've already tried to put some things in motion. I've finally found my voice when it comes to my needs in a friendship. I've spoken out and stood up for myself. It only took me 31 year... It's a weird feeling, but I think I like it. However, I do hope some of my truer friends will call me out if I get too cocky:) I'm also attempting a new 'eating plan'. I promise you it's not a diet, but more on that in another blog. I've also tossed around the idea of joining the fancy athletic club right across the street from me. I figure it's Fall, anything is possible (even exercise).

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Bachelor #10

I just finished looking under my for the riding crop that Bachelor #10 left behind. That was one of those things in life that I really never thought I'd find myself doing. I've been messaging Bachelor #10 for a few months and he seemed like a nice enough guy. Tattoos, a little punk rock, rough around the edges....apparently the way I like my Bachelors lately. We finally got a chance to meet a few weeks ago.

While my standards are certainly still there, I've realized that I actually don't really have a type, nor do I care to have one when it comes to men. The old Heather would have said that Bachelor #10 wasn't really my type, but after sitting down and talking to him for a bit I was intrigued. We met at the L&L which is the only actual dive bar in the Lakeview area. He was drinking MGD and I tried really hard not to judge. Eventually we switched to bourbon on the rocks and that's when things started to get good.

I decided to invite him back to my place and on the walk home he insisted on walking on the street side because his mom told him that it was the respectful thing to do. (Apparently only prostitutes walk on the street side...must keep that in mind for the future.) We got back to my place, I poured us some more bourbon and we chatted for a bit more. Then we stopped talking and I will spare you the details, but I have to say that this was a nice change of pace for me.

I'd grown used to the afternoon hookups that last a few hours. It usually goes like this: cocktails and conversation: sex: more conversation: goodbye. I like it like this, it fits into my lifestyle very well. However, I do crave a bit more from time to time and that's where Bachelor #10 comes into play. After we had sex he stuck around and held me all night. He's a bigger guy and I really enjoyed the feeling of being held. The best part is that he stuck around for morning sex which is some of my favorite type of sex.

So how did I end up with a riding crop being left behind in my apartment? Well, our second 'date' involved something a little less vanilla. He still stayed the night, held me, and we had morning sex, but this time things got a little more interesting. Let's just say that I do believe my neighbor might of heard me getting some belated birthday spankings...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

a little bit of a tease

Boy do I have some stories...Bachelor #10, cruise adventures, why my job is sucking the life from me. I promise to post all of these and more soon. For now just let me leave you with this: Bachelor #10 is going to pay be a visit tonight and he's bringing a riding crop.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Historic Downtown North: Treasures

This was my first tour with the Chicago Architecture Foundation. I thought that something general would be a good introduction to Chicago architecture. Not only was I impressed with the service at the Architecture Foundations, but the docent was fantastic and I walked away with more information than I expected. So let us begin our tour on Michigan Avenue...

Did you know that the Lions in front of the Art Institute have names? They are called 'on the prowl' and 'stands in an attitude of defiance'. The Art Institute was actually built on the rubble of the Great Fire. I also learned a bit about the history of Michigan Ave and State Street. Michigan Ave was a man's street, housing men's clubs and businesses. State Street was a street for women - it's where all the shopping was.

From Michigan Ave we walked up the street to the Palmer House. The picture to the right is the outside of the building and below are some pictures of the fantastic lobby and, my favorite, the Empire Room. I have decided that this will be the location of my wedding reception...now just need to find the groom.

We then traveled a little further up State Street to The Sullivan Center (used to be the Carson Pirie Scott building). I think I'm really starting to gain an appreciation for Sullivan's design.

Now, for one of my favorite places. Marshall Fields -well, now it's Macy's but the building is still just as fantastic as it used to be. I've shopped there a lot, but have never really looked up. How about this Tiffany dome?

The Cultural Center was also on our tour. I had only been in the building once or twice, but never really got a chance to see how fantastic the design inside is. This used to be the public library (built after the Great Fire), but now it houses all sorts of cultural events as well as the main tourism office.

Back out to State Street for a look at some of the buildings located along Millennium Park.

These buildings are part of the Gage Group and reflect different approaches to the Chicago School. Two are designed by Holabird and Roche and one is by Louis Sullivan (his is the more ornate one)

Friday, September 24, 2010

Dignity, What Dignity?

It's about 7am and Bachelor #3 just left my apartment. Um...no need to scold me. I know.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Bachelor #9: Awkward

I met Bachelor #9 on OkCupid. He sent me a message that was pretty witty and had way more content than what I'm used to. I was impressed, so we started exchanging e-mails. I was drawn in by his sense of humor - a fantastic quality in a man. He looked okay in the pics he had posted (a little like Adam Sandler) and we chatted for a few weeks before finally deciding to meet up. We agreed to meet at The Duke of Perth (I wonder if they know me as 1st date girl?) last week.

Now, the date wasn't horrible and he was certainly a nice guy, but at times it was more than a little awkward. First dates are awkward to begin with and there is always a fair amount of discomfort. However, this guy clearly had zero confidence (he put himself down quite a bit) and some very poor social skills. I know you can chalk some of that up to nerves, but I got the feeling that alot of this was just part of his personality. This is sad because he was really able to express himself and hold my attention via e-mail. However in real life there just wasn't enough to impress me. For example, when the waitress came to take our order I asked for a cider. My date sat there and stared at the menu for what seemed like forever. It was getting uncomfortable and the waitress had to finally prompt him with 'what do you like to drink?'. Then to make matters worse we were there for the time frame of at lest 2 beers, but only had one. I had half of mine down and realized he had only taken a few sips. I had to pace myself through the rest of the date when I clearly would have felt better if I was drinking more.

After our drinks came we chatted about our lives. Turns out he's an out of work child psychologist. That's right, the guy who seems to have some severe confidence issues and might be socially challenged is out there counseling children. At one point we were having a conversation and he lost his train of thought. Instead of moving on he sat there and tried to retrace his thought process. It was a painful few moments for me.

This is my problem. I go on dates with nice guys, but in the end I'm just not that into them. I know I deserve better than a guy like Bachelor #3, but I also don't want to date someone who can't hold up his end of the conversation and show me has some social skills. I need something more than another awkward first date. What I need is a really good first date. The kind of first date that leads to second and third dates.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Learning How To Work This Place

Hello Everyone,

I promise not to make this e-mail as long as the last. Thanks for all of your e-mails. I'm starting to get the hang of British life now. I've been going into town a lot and now I don't get lost. Classes start next week. I'm taking a class on Women's History in U.S. and Great Britain and a class on Medieval and Tudor lit. The cool thing is that I only have class for about six hours a week and the rest is independent study.

I've also had the other two roommates move in, but I've only met one. His name if Raffie (Raphael) and he's Argentinian, but lives in Istanbul. This is his second year here so he know his way around pretty well. The cool thing about him is that he play in a jazz band. The other boy is named Marcus and from what i hear he's Spanish, but lives in India. As you can see I have an international house! I'm going to try and get my pics on disk so I can send them via e-mail. I visit Leeds Castle this week so I'll let you know how that goes.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Brown Line El Tour

This adventure was brought to you by the Chicago History Museum. I am a member and decided to start taking advantage of some of their awesome tours. I've done the historical pub crawls, but have not done any of the El or Walking tours. So, I decided that the Brown Line El Tour would be my first one. Tours meet at the Palmer House Hotel, which is a magnificent hotel that I will certainly be back to explore (especially the bar). Our group had about 14 which was on the larger size. I'd say the average age of the group was about 50. Sadly, not a lot of hot single guys on this one....but I digress.

Our journey started at the Library stop:

From there is was on to the Armitage stop:

We got off at Armitage and looked at some of the older buildings in the area.

And then we walked up a few blocks to look at the McCormick Row Houses. I work in this area and have seen the houses before, but never really paid attention to them. These houses are designed in the Queen Anne style and were originally part of the McCormick Theological Seminary and were housing for students. Now they are actual homes.

We boarded the Brown Line at Fullerton and took it all the way north to the Fransico stop, which had been recently renovated. Ellen Harvey did this tile mosaic.

From here we got back on the train and took it south to the Western stop which lets you off in the heart of Lincoln Square. Lincoln Square is known as the German neighborhood and has an abundance of German restaurants. One of my favorite places is Merz Apothecary which specializes in herbal remedies and bath and body products from Europe.

We continued to wander the neighborhood and stooped by the Krause Music Store which was designed by Louis Sullivan.

We made a quick detour to the Old Town School of Folk Music (which used to be a public library) and then went back to the Western station. Now, here's something neat. The Western station houses a piece of the Berlin Wall!

Overall, it was a great tour. It was supposed to run 2 hours, but we were a little longer. I blame that on the old people who were slowing us up. Who brings an 80 year old on a walking tour? Really, people.

Monday, September 13, 2010


Bachelor #3 Sunday @ 10:29pm: Is that a yes or a no?

MadGirl: Not sure...

B3: That's kinda vague

MadGirl: I know. Thinking about if I really want to bother. You seem to pop in and out of my life every few months and i just don't know if I am up for that again.

B3: Fair enough...I understand

MG: I can handle us just being about sex. However, I don't like being the girl you hook up with when you are drunk and horny and done hanging out with your friends.

B3: Okay understood, it won't happen again

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Bachelor #3 Drama Continued

Bachelor #3: Sorry about last night

MadGirl: You are a waste of my time.

B3: I am sorry you feel that way but it's not typical of me. Can I make it up 2 u?

So what do I do? Weigh in with your advice.

Why MadGirl is Pathetic and Bachlor #3 Is an Incredible Ass

I am writing this blog to serve as a reminder as to why I am not going to get involved with Bachelor #3 ever again. Last night I crossed the line and would up in the realm of the pathetic girl and that is a place I refuse to be. I'm pretty pissed off at Bachelor #3, but I'm even more angry and disappointed with myself. Let me recount my tale via our exchange of text messages.

Bachelor #3 Friday at 7:59pm: Hey Neighbour...how is it going? Have you dropped off the face of the earth?

MadGirl Saturday at 10:26am: I'm still here. Haven't heard from you in a while. Been up to anything fun?

B3 Saturday at 3:59pm: Went to Vegas for Labor Day which was fun...r u working today?

MG Sat @ 5:09pm: Vegas? Lucky you. I work until 11. Want to grab a drink later?

B3 Sat @8:28pm: I will be out with friends but sounds good...I picked up something for your bar collection...I will bring it along.

MG Sat @ 9:19pm: Sounds good. I should be done by 11 so I will text you when I am on my way home.

MG Sat @ 11:01pm: I am finally leaving this hellhole. What is your ETA?

B3 Sat @ 11:19pm: Still at the bar, so take your time.

MG Sat @ 11:41pm: I am home. Head over whenever.

B3 Sat @ 11:41pm: Ok

MG Sat @ 1:22 am: You heading over soon? I am getting sleepy.

B3 Sat @ 1:47am: Yes closing the bar tab

That's right. I didn't actually get to bed until about 3:30am. I napped a bit on my couch, fully dressed and ready for sexy time. Truly and utterly pathetic of me. Now, I'm not very well rested, horny and angry. Not a good combination for this MadGirl.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Is Bachelor # 3 Back?

I think that Bachelor #3 and I may just be seeing each other on some sort of lunar cycle. Let me briefly summarize our dating history:

  • Meet in September and chatted online a bit. Started seeing each other in mid November and dated until end of December.
  • He drops off the face of the earth until February when we briefly hook up and then he dissapears until April.
  • We date for about 2 weeks and by May he is gone again. Until today...

I just received a text from him asking me if I've fallen off the face of the earth...really? For a guy who lives at the end of my block it sure seems hard for him to keep in touch. Does he just contact me when he is really horny and doesn't have anyone else to fuck? So, I'm clearly going to text him back and put him back into the Bachelor rotation, but I think I'm going to try and get some answers out of him this time. I really am curious about what is going through this guys mind.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Abuse of Pastries

Yesterday was a really good day. It was the kind of day I wish I could live everyday. My adventures started with a visit to Bachelor #6's apartment for a quickie. I was only there for an hour, but I walked out of there with a spring in my step. I seriously felt like I had just smoked an incredible bowl of weed. Talk about your natural high. If I could start my day like that I would be a much happier person.

After my little rendez-vous I met up with one of my friends. We decided to head down towards Lincoln Park and go to this restaurant, Mon Ami Gabi. It looks like an adorable French bistro right by the park. It's located in this high end apartment building. It's the kind of place I'd like to live in should I ever win the lotto. Sadly, they did not open until later so we decided on Cafe Brauer which is actually part of the zoo. Turns out this was closed down for the season - I guess everyting shuts down after Labor Day. Luckily we had our old standby, Bistro Zinc, just a short walk away. We had a fantastic lunch at the bistro and I got my fill of their delicious escargot...for a few weeks at least. We partook in a few Campari and sodas, ate our lunch and then headed out for the French Market.

I have read a lot about the French Market and was expecting something very French. However, it's really just a market selling everything from produce to flowers to asian food. Some booths were a little more French than others. My friend and I got some pastries from Vanille Patisserie. I adore this place - it's a little pricey, but the pastries are exquisite and their macaroons are like crack at $1.50 a pop they are certainly a once in a while treat. We took our pastries and cappuccinos outside and spent a good hour drinking, eating, and geeking out with our nooks. Turns out that they did not give us forks so my friend and I used our fingers to eat our pastries. I realize that we are probably now banned from France after commiting such a crime. The weather was sunny, cool and a little windy. Our bellies were full with escargot and fine French pastries and our nooks were updated with fall reads. It was perfection.

After our coffee break we headed to the West Loop in search or The Girl and The Goat. Once we found it we continued to wander the neighborhood and plan our move over there when our leases were up a year from now. Maybe, I don't need a change of city, but a change of neighborhood? This seems to be a good neigborhood for a foodie like me. We ended up at Wishbone partaking in half price martins and convincing out friends to come join us for dinner. I think we were there for about 4 hours. Sadly, Oprah did not stop by to join us. All in all, a fantastic day full of adventures.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

What I Read On My Summer Vacation by MadGirl

I finally finished reading The Passage by Justin Cronin. I didn't know what to expect from this book, but quickly got sucked into the story and attached to the characters. This 800 plus page post apocalyptic vampire novel was really not what i had in mind for a summer read. However, the premise of a vampire virus wiping out most of the US in the near future is quite intriguing. The more I read the more questions I had and while some did get answered many were left to the imagination. I can't wait for the other books in the trilogy.

I also spent my summer reading 2 of Bachelor #6's books and am on my third (in e-book form) right now. I like his straight forward style of writing and it's kind of cool to get a good look around the brain of someone you're dating.

And here are a few others I read:
Tom Sawyer has been my other companion this summer. It really is different reading the classics when you are an adult. There is so much that missed when I was a kid.

The Impectionists by Tom Rachman - this was an enjoyable read about the lives of a group of journalists who all work for the same foreign newspaper in Rome
Medium Raw by Anthony Bourdain. It's Bourdain, 'nuff said.
Father Mine J.R. Ward - trashy vampire lit

Currently I'm reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Why didn't I read this before? I feel the start of a distopia themed reading list...

Here's what I want to read this fall:
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Madame Bovary by Gustave Falubert
something by Henry James
Absurdistan or something else by Gary Shteyngart
Fith Avenue, 5 a.m by Sam Wasson

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Banking and Asda

Mom and Dad,

I just wanted to let you know that I set up a bank account
at Barclays. There are no fees and the $3,000 converted
into about �1,900 pounds. The exchange rate really wasn't
that bad.

Also, I took the free bus to Asda. It is a really cool
place. It's run by Walmart and has a huge grocery section. I spent
�20 on groceries, but got so much food. I also bought a
hair dryer and curling iron today because I just couldn't
live without them any more. I'm really under dressed for
this place. Everyone dresses really nice and I don't see
any jeans and sweatshirts.

I'm slowly learning how to work all the appliance in my
house too. This morning I had a breakfast of tea and
crumpets. A crumpet is really like an English muffin, but
spongier. I'm going to try and get to e-mail everyday, but
I can't guarantee I can do that.


Saturday, September 4, 2010

Jolly Old England

This is my first e-mail from England...oh, the memories!

Hello Everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I'm fine.
England is great. The flight here was fine, but it was a
pain at the airport. I feel as if all I've been doing
lately is standing in lines. I didn't find out that I was
going to get on a flight until the last minute so we had to
rush up to O'Hare. I spent about four hours in line
checking in and paying $100 for excess baggage because they
failed to let me know that my carry on was too heavy until
I got up to the counter. I had about five minutes to say
goodbye to my family and then I was off. There was a lot of
security, but that's fine by me. I was a little sick on
the plane at first, but once we got moving and I started
watching movies and playing with all the free stuff they
give you I was fine. When we finally landed in England the
real adventure began. I had not slept on the flight at all
and then we were trying to get off and they couldn't get
the airplane doors open! So there we are standing and
waiting to get off for a half and hour.

We made if off and cleared customs. We then met up with
the UKC people, but it turns out that we were not on the
list to get a coach to Canterbury. So, here we are; tired
and with 500 pounds of luggage and no way to get to our
school. We ended up taking a taxi (for£150) with this
Nigerian guy who was also going to school with us. He went
here last year so he was really helpful and made sure we
got to the University safely.

My flat is nice, but nothing fancy. It's very
institutional. Right now I only have four roommates (Liz
(American), Emma ( a first year British student) and Agnes
(She's from Mauritias which is an Island in the Indian
Ocean). We are still waiting on two more flat mates.

Here are some of the observations I've made about England:

-It really is cold and rainy here. That is no joke and I
don't think I've seen the sun in days. I probably didn't
need to bring any T-shirts. My umbrella is my constant
companion. Everything is ten times more green then at home
and now I know why...it never stops raining!
-English Directions are not like American Directions.
Nothing is easy to find. For example, when we were trying
to find the city of Canterbury a lady gave us directions
that said: turn right at the roundabout and then left and
take Whitstable Road to the city. To this day I do not
know where Whitstable Road is or what roundabout she was
talking about. It took us about three hours to find the
city and I'm sure we took the long way. It's a bit of a
jaunt, but I need the exercise.
-The city of Canterbury is beautiful. It has old
cobblestone streets and a cute little river. There's so
much to take in. I went to the Cathedral yesterday and it
was amazing. As a UKC student I get in for free. So, I
plan to go back and explore more.
-I'm going through total culture shock. I feel like an
idiot because I can't work anything. For example, in our
bathroom there are two taps, one for hot and one for cold,
this doesn't make sense to me. I couldn't figure out how
to wash my face for a day. I'd burn my left hand with hot
water. Finally, I realized that you plug the basin and
fill it with a mixture of both.
-English food is good. I don't know what the other people
mean when they put down the food here. Our first night we
ate at this place called the Weavers INN and I had Lamb and
Rosemary pie and a pint of cider. It was the best meal
ever. I've also had tea at a little French cafe.

I'm sorry this is so long, but there's so much to say.
I'll send more e-mails when I get a chance.



I was cleaning up my yahoo mailbox and came across a folder of e-mails I sent to friends and family while living in England. I've decided to brush them off and pepper them into my blog. This first one is from October 22, 2001. I've decided to use covert spy names to protect the innocent.

Boy do I have a story for you! On Saturday night Candida,
her British roommate Carmen and I went out to the pubs. We
start out at our old standby, The Jolly Sailor, where Carmen
hits on the bartender and gets looked over by some really old men.

We decided to leave the Sailor and find a new pub so we
stumble upon this pub called King William IV. We go in and
there's this guy named Kevin Iverson playing! I don't
think he's related to Nick though. Well, this place is a
dive and we are like 'drink up and get outta here.' At
that very moment Sting comes on with Roxanne so we pound
our drinks, thank Sting, and leave.

At this point Candida has to pee so she makes me go back to
the sailor with her. We go in, pee, and as we are making
our way out these two hot British men hold the door for us.
Out on the street they are talking about where to go and
then head towards Simple Simons, another great pub. Well,
us girls mobilize and follow them there. Carmen and Candida
are behind them at the bar and I go outside to find a seat.

Well, a few minutes later these boys come and sit at my
table, but I'm trying to call my roommate, Puppettina, on the
mobile so we don't talk. Candida and Carmen come out and we
start talking to these men. Well, Nick sits across from me
and introduces himself and I start to realize that he's a
bit older and not as hot as I thought, but I'm still pretty
drunk so everything is good. Nick is a ground worker from
Folkstone (which is on the Channel and about an hour away).
So we're making small talk and then he says that we should
come and visit him sometime and gives me his number. Well,
being the asshole that I am I give him mine-the whole time
thinking 'what are you doing asshole' to myself.

Nick then says something to me that I really can't
understand and I make him repeat it 20 times and then I ask
Candida what he said and she says 'He thinks your a babe'!
Now, I am many things but a babe is not one of them...
Well, I start to freak out because I'm sobering up and
realizing that these men are way older and slimier then I
thought when Jack and coke were my conscience.

At this point another bloke shows up and says his name is
Soap. Soap takes a liking to Candida and calls her a
diamond. Candida and Carmen then leave me there to talk with
Soap and Nick and all I want to do is run off. Finally,
Soap asks if we want to come back to Folkstone with them
and that they will be sure that we get home safe in the
morning! Ugggg! I think all of us girls where like no way
in hell, but Candida just made up some lie about how we had
stuff to do the next day.

So, finally these men leave and we are left giggling and
I'm cringing because Nick would not stop calling me a babe
and that just made me really uncomfortable. He hasn't
called me yet and hope to god he doesn't because I'd die.

There is also a very important moral to the story: You
can't expect to meet decent men at the pubs. Trust me on
this. From now on I go to pubs to have fun and meet new
people, but not to find Mr. Right.


P.S: I need your address and phone number. I can call you
for super cheap so that means you'll be the lucky recipient
of a drunken call from a pub one night!

University of Kent
1 Ellenden Court, Park Wood
CT2 7SH Canterbury, England

Side note to the e-mail: Candida is still convinced that Soap looked like Thom York from Radiohead. He did not. Give a girl enough Jack and Coke and any loser is going to look like George Clooney.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Am I a Cuddlemonster?

Lately, I have had this extreme urge to cuddle with someone and it's kind of freaking me out. I've never been a very affectionate person, but suddenly I think about what it would be like if one of my bachelors hung around and spent the night. Okay, part of that desire is because I really dig morning sex and in order to get good morning sex you need to wake up next to each other.

I remember when Bachelor #3 first tried to play the cuddle card with me. After sex he would wrap himself around me, snore really loud and fuck me when we work up in the morning. The first couple of times he spent the night I got really annoyed. I couldn't sleep and frankly, the guy lived at the end of my block so it wasn't a long trek home. However, now I miss that. I realize that he was willing to provide me with the sex and the intimacy.

I think in my quest to be sexually adventurous I forgot to consider intimacy and honestly, I think I need a little cuddle time now and then. It's funny how I can easily bring a guy to my bed with very little inhibitions, but asking for anything more turns me right back into that timid girl that I am trying to leave behind.. I've managed to compartmentalize my relationships and take what I need from each one, but what I'm not getting, and certainly craving, is some cuddle time.

Ghosts of Bachelors Past

I got an e-mail from Bachelor #2 today. He just wanted to see how I was doing and if I was drinking any IPA. To refresh your memory I went on one date with Bachelor #2 and had a good time, but was also dating Bachelor #1 at the time and was way more into Bachelor #1. I ended up e-mailing Bachelor #2 to tell him I was getting serious with someone else and then a few weeks later Bachelor #1 dropped off the face of the earth. This is when I learned a valuable lesson: don't put all you eggs in one basket. I have since learned that it is okay to date multiple men at the same time because chances are a few of them are going to turn out to be flakes and if I'm lucky one will actually stick around.

I have mixed feelings about Bachelor #2. I enjoyed his company, but just wasn't' feeling a connection that would lead to more than friendship. However, I like to give guys a second try and that's why I decided to respond to his e-mail. I also kind of like the idea that there was someone out there who was still thinking about me. It's a nice feeling to know that you are liked. We'll see where this takes us, but I feel that as long as I am upfront with him then it should be okay.

This whole electronic communication thing can get quite frustrating. I hate the weeks of e-mails back and forth and then the weeks of trying to meet up. I'd say about 50% of the potential bachelors make it past e-mail and only about 75% actually end up in a real date. For example, I have exchanged numbers and have dates pending with 3 guys right now. If I'm lucky one of them will end up in a date and the rest will just fall into some sort of dating black hole. It's all very bizarre and I just feel it should not be this complicated. If it were up to me I'd just like to exchange a few basic e-mails and then meet up to see if we really connect. If date 1 and 2 go well and they turn out to be a good kisser then I think there could be a future.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Too Much To Handle?

Well aren't you tasty for being 30 and so skinny...thought you were underage at first. It's not often I can say that about such a fragile and innocent girl being very attractive. You probably can't keep up with an experienced and kinky daddy unfortunately, can you? ;-)

...we'd definitely make good looking kids though.

I shit you not, some guy just sent me that in a e-mail. I find so many things wrong and offensive that I had to share it. First off, he is 28 and clearly being 30 is old for him. Does he think that being in your 30s means you must look like a hag? Also, assuming I am underage is just plain creepy. Secondly, I am not, nor have I ever been, skinny. Granted I didn't post full body pics of myself, so he just saw my legs...which are pretty fantastic on their own, but they do not attach themselves to a skinny person. Third, innocent and fragile are two of the last words you would use to describe me (along with graceful, musically inclined, and neat). I'm strong, like bear. And then there is the assumption that I can't keep up. Not impressed, stallion.

And finally, there is the reference to our children. His profile does not show his face, just a shot of his naked chest. I'm willing to bet that there is a damn good reason for this. I'm not taking my chances on him looking like Sloth from the Goonies. There is also something wrong with suggesting procreation in the first e-mail - just plain wrong.

Usually I just brush off the weird e-mails and move on, but this one really got under my skin. I'm tempted to e-mail him back and give him piece of my mind.

P.S: His message title: Too much to handle?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Totally Mediocre Sex

I just had Bachelor #8 over for some totally mediocre sex. I was hoping there would be some sort of passion or spark this time around, but not so much. This is a bummer because I do like this guy. It's not like the sex was terrible, but it just lacked the passion and roughness i have become used to with Bachelor #4 and Bachelor #6. Also, he was getting ready to go on a bike ride and came dressed in biker gear a la Lance Armstrong. This, my dear readers, is not one of my fetishes. It was vaguely reminiscent of something Aquaman (Bachelor #3) would have worn. The sex we had was the sort of sex I'd expect from an amateur and maybe he is. Is this what normal sex is like? I really wish there was some sort of chemistry but maybe that's what is laking. What really irks me is that i actually like him and find that we have a lot in common and could easily date. This was our second encounter, and while it was better than the first, and he did do his best to pleasure me, I just wasn't impressed. The strange thing is that I will probably do it with him again.

So, just as he was leaving I get a text from Bachelor #6 who volunteers to be my bad sex savior. In a ultimate slutty move I have invited him over and he is on the way right now...

****break for sex and post sex conversation***

Once again, it's Bachelor #6 to the rescue. The sex was great as usual, but it's actually the conversation after that I look forward to (okay, maybe not as much as the sex, but it's close). I find Bachelor #6 fascinating and tonight I found out that he was in a band with Pete Wentz before he started Fall Out Boy, there is a Fall Out Boy song written about him, he is quite popular is Australia, he's publishing a book for Keltie Colleen who is going to be on the next Bachelor. I'm fascinated and somewhat inspired by him. Here is a guy who built a career as a writer and DIY publisher from nothing. You've got to admire that. I have decided to make a better effort to keep up with my blog and maybe expand my horizons from just sex to other topics (like sex and cocktails, sex and food, sex and literature).

So, for those of you reading - what else would you like me to write about?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Cock Tales

So this blog has a dual purpose. First, I'd like to talk about Bachelor #6 and Bachelor #8. I met Bachelor #8 a few weeks ago and after a few drinks and some great conversation I did manage to lure him back to my apartment. I actually had no intention of bringing him home that day. In fact, I sabotaged myself by wearing some not so sexy underwear and not cleaning my apartment. However, my hormones got the best of me and Bachelor #8 willingly obliged. However, the sex was not good at all. Maybe it was because I wasn't in the right frame of mind or maybe it was his not so large penis...not sure. The thing is that I really got along with him and he was a fantastic kisser. A bit of a douche bag, but fun to hang out with. Maybe the other guys I have been with have spoiled me. I mean Bachelor #4 and #6 can certainly rock my world. I guess I was expecting more of the same with this one. However, I know I must take some of the blame since I know I wasn't fully prepared. So, Bachelor #8 and I are going to give it a second try.

Now Bachelor #6...I'm actually reading his book right now. It deals with his sexual exploits and trust me, there are a lot of them. Bachelor #6 and I had a nice moment the other day. He opened up a bit about relationships and I must say that I find him fascinating. I don't know if I want to fuck him or make a bowl of popcorn and watch Sex and the City reruns with him. What he did for me on his last visit was nothing short of a miracle. I have been feeling really down in the dumps lately and wasn't sure I should even be inviting him over. However, he actually fucked me into a good mood. It was fantastic. Just what I needed. I've decided that, for the time being, I am just going to stick with Bachelors #4, #6, and #8 as play partners while I continue to look for the Bachelor who will be able to fulfill me emotionally as well as sexually.

Well, you've listened to my cock tales....now time for some cocktails.

3 Citrus Basil Cocktail

This is a great one to make in a batch and serve at your summer parties. However, I made a batch for myself and polished it off in an afternoon. I always use fresh juice (no bottled shit) because it just gives the cocktail a fresher flavor. Trust me, you will taste the difference.

Basil simple syrup
Bring 1/3 cup water and 2/3 cup sugar to boil in a sauce pan. Stir in 4 large basil sprigs and remove from heat. Let steep for 30 minutes.

Pour 2/3 cup fresh lime juice, 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice, and 1/3 cup fresh orange juice and 2 tbs raspberries (I used fresh, but you can use frozen) into a blender. Strain basil syrup into blender, pressing on the basil leaves to get all of the flavor out. Blend until smooth and strain into pitcher. Stir in 1 cup gin. Divide among 6 glasses filled with ice and garnish with basil sprigs.

Mexican Martini

I saw this one on a Food Network show and had to make it for myself. I think this is my new favorite summer cocktail. I think I’m going to try this same recipe, but substitute agave nectar for sugar and tequila for vodka. Also, the original recipe only called for ¼ cup vodka – clearly not enough for me so I took some liberties.

Boil ¼ cup water and ¼ cup granulated sugar over medium heat. Simmer until sugar is dissolved. Se aside to cool. Blend the juice of ½ a lime, 2 cucumbers (peeled and sliced), simple syrup and 4 cups water. Strain into a pitcher and add ¾ cup of vodka and ¼ cup triple sec. You can rim your glasses with chili-lime powder or salt. I used a mixture of salt and chili powder for mine.

Sage Advice

Sage syrup
Bring 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar to a boil. Add a handful or two of sage leaves and remove from heat. Stir. Cover. Let sit for 15 minutes and then strain into a glass container and cool in the fridge.

Muddle 4 cucumber wheels, juice of half a lime and 1oz sage syrup. Add 2 oz gin and some ice. Shake and strain into an old fashioned glass filled with ice.

Friday, August 13, 2010

A Teeny Tiny Emotional Breakdown

The fact that I had a slight emotional breakdown is no big deal really. We all go through rough patches right? Well, mine was a bit more complicated as I decided to have said breakdown while having sex with Bachelor #4. I have to admit that I have been feeling out of sorts and extremely overwhelmed with work issues as of late. I thought that having Bachelor #4 over for a little play time would help me blow off some steam, and besides, I actually really like the guy. He treats me well and is very respectful of my feelings. This certainly came in handy when I decided to burst into tears during sex.

He immediately stopped what he was doing and comforted me as I let out my frustrations between sobs. He was so understanding and encouraging that it made me cry even more. What lead me to this break down? I think that I want and need more in a relationship besides sex. Don't get me wrong, the sex is great and there is no way that I am going celibate or any shit like that. However, I have been focusing so much on the sexual side of my needs that i totally forgot the emotional side. This is the side that wants a guy to go out with, to share some adventures with, to hold me for a little bit and sometimes (not all the time) wake up next to. Getting the sex is easy, but it's the rest of it that I can't seem to make happen. What I don't understand is why can't there be both? And how the hell do I go about getting it? And most importantly does Hallmark make some sort of 'sorry I had a breakdown while you were fucking me' card?

Friday, July 30, 2010

Bachelor #7 and His Dirty Little Secret

Why am I incapable of liking a normal decent guy who actually seems to like me? I had met Bachelor #7 once before, but more of in a group setting. He seemed impressed by me and was pretty upfront in telling me that he liked my company and wanted to go out with me again. However, I didn't really feel a mutual attraction from the start. We exchanged a few e-mails and then he asked me out. So, I decided to take him up on the offer because he did seem like an interesting guy and I figured I owed him a second chance. We ended up meeting at a German restaurant in Lincoln Square and, while the company was good, I have to say that there just wasn't any spark and the spark is important to me. Here are a few things I had an issue with:

  • When I told him I majored in Journalism he proceed to talk about he hated journalists.
  • He made a comment about how he didn't like the uppity college educated people who lived in Lincoln Park.
  • He has a 6 year old daughter (a fact which he failed to mention until midway through the date)

Now this last one is pretty much a deal breaker for me and I also don't understand why he wouldn't have mentioned this in any of the multiple conversations we've had. It's not like saying you have dog or some hamsters - this is a human being who is very much part of your life. Also, in all honesty, I have not intention of making a child any part of my life.

While this is certainly someone I wouldn't mind grabbing a beer with every now and then I know that I am just not into him. So, now I'm stuck with the daunting task of sending him an e-mail and telling him how I feel. Unlike some men I've dated, I refuse to just leave him hanging. I feel I at least owe him a reason and the option to stay friends if he would like.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Bachelor # 6: The tattooed writer who doesn't drink

Once again I have let life get in the way of keeping up with my blog. I won't bore you with all the details of the past few weeks. Let's just skip to the good parts. I have a 'new' Bachelor #6. I met this one on OkCupid and after a few brief and flirtatious e-mails and IMs we agreed to meet. From his pictures I could tell he was a very attractive tattooed hipster and most likely out of my league. We decided to meet at Duke of Perth, my stand by first date location.

As soon as he walked in to the restaurant the college girl in me developed a huge crush. He was covered in tattoos and sort of had a Pete Wentz thing going. He was wearing the traditional hipster summer wardrobe of a black t-shirt and cut off jean shorts. And he had a pierced nose. Yep, I had surly lucked out -what could a guy like that possibly want with someone like me? Shouldn't he be out dating adorable hipster girls somewhere in Logan Square?

So he sits down and orders a Ginger Ale...that's right, he doesn't drink. However, I am totally willing to look past that in his case. I start the conversation with asking him what he does and he tells me he used to be a hairdresser, but quit that to became a writer. At this point I'm pretty sure I'm on a date with a gay man. I'm just getting that vibe from his hairdressing background to his verbal cues. I will later be proven wrong by this, but for the time I'm a little discombobulated.

He tells me all about how he started his own publishing company and has 6 books out that started from his blog. He Has also traveled the world to speak about his experiences at universities. So, this guy is actually a serious writer and that English major in me is developing more of a crush every minute. What are the chances that I meet an interesting tattooed writer?

We continue to have a fantastic conversations about life, dating, douche bags like Tucker Max - this date is going really well. We exchange dating stories (which he clearly has more of). We talk about our sense of adventure and desire to meet new people. By the end I didn't know if I wanted to make him my BFF or take him home and tie him to my bed.

I ended up choosing the later. So, we've hooked up a few times since and chat a few times a week. He has refreshingly liberal views on sex and we talk very openly about it. His newest book is about male sexuality and his experiences with women, but it is by no means another 'I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell'. Is this guy long term? Probably not, but I'm certainly having fun with him for now.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Mad Girl Refuses to Date an Ass

So Bachelor #6 actually never materialized and that position is still open. This was a guy I met on FetLife. I actually sought him out because he had tattoos, liked Tarantino and whiskey. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We exchanged a few e-mails and some pics and I felt pretty good about where this was going. He suggested we meet and we agreed to meet at the L &L (quite possible the only dive bar in Lakeview). He texted me this afternoon to confirm our date and I replied that I would be there. Well, about 45 minutes later I get this text:

Damit. 2 of my friends just showed up to take me somewhere and won't tell me where. Bastards. Raincheck? What does the rest of your week look like? I'm open any day but Wednesday. This sucks!! I was looking forward to this all weekend! :(

Seriously? Um, if my friends showed up two hours before I had a date planned I would most certainly turn them down. What sort of man lets his friends cock block him? I really don't have time for this. So, I posted my story on Facebook and decided that I would go with the advice of the first friend who replied. Of course, the advice was to ditch him. I texted him back with a simple 'my week is booked' and he replies: Dang. Can I be in touch later this week, make figure something out for next week?

Not quite sure I understand this one, but I really don't think this bodes well for any guy I want to get involved with. So, in honor of the date that never was I present you with a classic cocktail...

The Moscow Mule

2oz vodka
juice of have a lime
ginger beer

Juice lime into glass and fill with ice. Add vodka. Top with ginger beer.