Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Dating Aquaman

A guy recently asked me what my type was. I replied that I'm trying not to have a type. Having a type sets too many boundaries and a girl in my situation can't afford to pass on a guy just because he may mention in his profile that he likes to work out or enjoys fishing. So, I've kept my options open and this lead me to date a douche bag.

This 'relationship' (or month long one night stand) taught me a few things about myself. We really didn't have whole lot in common. He worked out almost every day, liked to hang out in Wrigleyville, and would always text instead of calling me. We may not have had an intellectual compatibility (I realized this when he asked me what a thespian was), but we certainly had the physical chemistry going.

The first time we slept together he didn't take his shirt off. I thought this was a little strange, but i chalked it up to first time jitters. That night, after we had sex he curled up next to me and proceeded to snore really loudly in my ear. Normally, this would have set me off, but I found it to be kind of cute. The second time we had sex he left the shirt on again and I knew we had a problem. We were clearly not making a porn. I firmly believe that all shirts and socks should be removed when having sex.

I thought the worst (hairy back) and I was prepared to accept that because I was really into him. So, the third time we slept together I got him to take his shirt off and thankfully he did not have a hairy back! Now this is where it got weird. One morning, after a night of crazy monkey sex he got out of bed and went to get dressed. I followed him into my living room where our clothes were scattered about. What I saw next really perplexed me. Somehow I had not noticed that he was wearing some sort of scuba suit underneath his clothes. I'm talking full pants and long sleeved top - it looked like he was going surfing. What the fuck! How had I not noticed that I was sleeping with Aquaman?...maybe I'd need to check him for webbed feet. This just seemed so strange. I know Chicago gets cold in the winter, but this was ridiculous. However, now I can safely say that I am willing to date outside of my type. Be it Aquaman, Sports Nut Guy, or any array of comic personalty I feel I am in a place where I am open to many diverse dating opportunities.

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