Cock Tales

So this blog has a dual purpose. First, I'd like to talk about Bachelor #6 and Bachelor #8. I met Bachelor #8 a few weeks ago and after a few drinks and some great conversation I did manage to lure him back to my apartment. I actually had no intention of bringing him home that day. In fact, I sabotaged myself by wearing some not so sexy underwear and not cleaning my apartment. However, my hormones got the best of me and Bachelor #8 willingly obliged. However, the sex was not good at all. Maybe it was because I wasn't in the right frame of mind or maybe it was his not so large penis...not sure. The thing is that I really got along with him and he was a fantastic kisser. A bit of a douche bag, but fun to hang out with. Maybe the other guys I have been with have spoiled me. I mean Bachelor #4 and #6 can certainly rock my world. I guess I was expecting more of the same with this one. However, I know I must take some of the blame since I know I wasn't fully prepared. So, Bachelor #8 and I are going to give it a second try.

Now Bachelor #6...I'm actually reading his book right now. It deals with his sexual exploits and trust me, there are a lot of them. Bachelor #6 and I had a nice moment the other day. He opened up a bit about relationships and I must say that I find him fascinating. I don't know if I want to fuck him or make a bowl of popcorn and watch Sex and the City reruns with him. What he did for me on his last visit was nothing short of a miracle. I have been feeling really down in the dumps lately and wasn't sure I should even be inviting him over. However, he actually fucked me into a good mood. It was fantastic. Just what I needed. I've decided that, for the time being, I am just going to stick with Bachelors #4, #6, and #8 as play partners while I continue to look for the Bachelor who will be able to fulfill me emotionally as well as sexually.

Well, you've listened to my cock tales....now time for some cocktails.


3 Citrus Basil Cocktail

This is a great one to make in a batch and serve at your summer parties. However, I made a batch for myself and polished it off in an afternoon. I always use fresh juice (no bottled shit) because it just gives the cocktail a fresher flavor. Trust me, you will taste the difference.

Basil simple syrup
Bring 1/3 cup water and 2/3 cup sugar to boil in a sauce pan. Stir in 4 large basil sprigs and remove from heat. Let steep for 30 minutes.

Pour 2/3 cup fresh lime juice, 1/3 cup fresh lemon juice, and 1/3 cup fresh orange juice and 2 tbs raspberries (I used fresh, but you can use frozen) into a blender. Strain basil syrup into blender, pressing on the basil leaves to get all of the flavor out. Blend until smooth and strain into pitcher. Stir in 1 cup gin. Divide among 6 glasses filled with ice and garnish with basil sprigs.

Mexican Martini

I saw this one on a Food Network show and had to make it for myself. I think this is my new favorite summer cocktail. I think I’m going to try this same recipe, but substitute agave nectar for sugar and tequila for vodka. Also, the original recipe only called for ¼ cup vodka – clearly not enough for me so I took some liberties.

Boil ¼ cup water and ¼ cup granulated sugar over medium heat. Simmer until sugar is dissolved. Se aside to cool. Blend the juice of ½ a lime, 2 cucumbers (peeled and sliced), simple syrup and 4 cups water. Strain into a pitcher and add ¾ cup of vodka and ¼ cup triple sec. You can rim your glasses with chili-lime powder or salt. I used a mixture of salt and chili powder for mine.

Sage Advice

Sage syrup
Bring 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar to a boil. Add a handful or two of sage leaves and remove from heat. Stir. Cover. Let sit for 15 minutes and then strain into a glass container and cool in the fridge.

Muddle 4 cucumber wheels, juice of half a lime and 1oz sage syrup. Add 2 oz gin and some ice. Shake and strain into an old fashioned glass filled with ice.