down with B19

B19 and I are no more. I guess I should have seen it coming because he totally forgot (or just ignored) my birthday this week. I wasn't expecting much, but a Happy Birthday text would have been appreciated. Was this my warning sign or was it when he wouldn't invite me to his place or spend the night at mine?

I guess I was just having so much fun with him that I choose to not read too much into any 'signs'. I figured he was just the type of guy who needed more time to get comfortable around me. It came as quite a shock when I went to check my Facebook account last night and I saw that he had posted something on his page that was clearly directed at me.

It was obvious that he read my recent blog, the mean reds, because he actually referred to it in his post. He spoke about me not believing in god and not wanting kids. It was basically a big fuck you message and was probably the most hurtful thing that has ever been directed at me.

At first I was in shock. I went to my kitchen, poured a glass of wine and started chopping veggies for dinner. Then it hit me and I started sobbing. I'm talking, uncontrollable, heaving sobs. How could someone that had once made me so happy make me so miserable? I pulled myself together enough to reach out to my friends for a little comfort. They helped and I knew that it was time to cut B19 loose (as if there would be any other option). I sent him a message on Facebook letting him know I had read his post and thought it was time to move on. I then promptly unfriended him. I still just can't (and probably won't) understand how a grown-ass man could be so cruel. I totally misjudged this one.