maybe spinsterhood is not for me

I saw Bachelor #21 three times in one week. That's one sleepover at his place and two at mine. How is it that one guy (B21) can be so eager to spend time with me and other ones (B19) would never even invite me to their place after dating for four freakin months? We've exchanged back rubs, played our favorite music for each other (sadly, he does not have the same taste in music as me) and have had lots of really decent sex. Is this what it was supposed to be like with B19?

The really stupid thing is that I miss the fun that B19 and I had. He really made me laugh and I was extremely happy with him. Sure, he turned out to be a total D-bag that was clearly not into sex as much as I was, but other then that, the time we had together was pretty good. B21 is pretty awesome and clearly not afraid to get close to me. He's cooked for me, taught me to infuse vodka and has certainly kept me satisfied, but can he make me giggle? I guess time will tell.

B21 has a lot of characteristics I look for in a guy. He's funny (studied improv), he knows his way around a kitchen and a woman's anatomy and he's a drinker. I'm comfortable around him and he makes me laugh. It's only been a week, but I'm just waiting for the deal breaker. I hate being this way, but I haven't really had the best streak with the bachelors. I can't understand why.

I'm funny, smart and pretty open when it comes to what I want. I have control of my life, but am willing to give up some of the control in the bedroom. I have the sex drive of a 16 year old boy, can cook, am cultured and can make a mean cocktail. So why hasn't some guy gotten smart enough and snatched me up yet? What if the one for me is actually herding polar bears somewhere in Canada? Or maybe we don't even speak the same language? What if he's right here in Chicago and we just haven't crossed paths yet? What if I am or have dated him already? Jesus...can't a single gal get a break?

skipping Thanksgiving

I work retail. This means I am denied my holidays. There is no peace and joy for me. November and December are my most intense months and the holidays leave me with no good will to spread. This year I am trying something different. I'm skipping Thanksgiving. This is the first time in my entire life (with the exception of the year I lived in England) that I have not been with my family for Thanksgiving. I'll be honest. I'm not bummed.

The last thing I want to do is commute home an hour and a half each way only to spend my day in a cramped trailer with my my mom's family. Sure, I'd love to see my mom, dad and sis, but I get to see them any time I want. I've always been a family person, but what's the use in going home for Thanksgiving if I can't really enjoy myself? My family situation isn't the same. I hate imposing on my sis and her fiance for a place to spend the night every time I go home and I hate that I don't have my family to itself since my grandma is now living with my parents. So this year I'm doing Thanksgiving my way.

Obviously this involves a few trips to Trader Joe's, enough food for four and tons of booze. Here's what my feast consisted of:

Butternut Squash Soup
Parker House Rolls
Cranberry Sauce
Maple Roasted Sweet Potatoes
Green Bean Casserole
Truffle Mashed Potatoes (with a little bacon grease added in for good measure)
Corn with Chile Powder
Turkey Gravy
Turkey Breast with Stuffing
and Pumpkin Pie for dessert

I got to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and the Dog Show today. All in all, a pretty good day...now on to the holiday chaos. Please keep me in your thoughts and remeber to be kind to your retail workers because we put up with a lot of shit this time of year.

Bachelor #21 and some policy violations

Good news is that Bachelor #21 might be a keeper. Bad news is that I broke my dating policy and slept with him. However, I did get morning sex out of the deal so it really is all good. B21 and I met on OKC and exchanged a few e-mails. We met up last night for a few beers and I knew that he was someone I would go on more dates with. As you know, I can't stand it when the conversation doesn't flow, especially on a first date. I refuse to continue to date someone without a personality. Good news is that this guy makes the cut. We share a passion for food and drink which is a huge bonus for me. No more dating the non-drinker - lesson learned with B19.

So we went to two bars and drank a lot of beers. After the last bar we decided to get pizza. I really should have called it a night and stuck to my policy. Instead we got pizza (he also offered to make pizza for me!!!) and went to his apartment. Okay, so I bend one policy, but surely I could control myself and not have sex on the first date. Turns out that I can't. So we had sex and then I was going to head home, but he was kind enough to supply me with a contact case and solution so I could spend the night. Clearly, he wasn't going to kick me to the curb and actually wanted me to stay. I really like being in bed with a guy and I guess I was craving some cuddle time so I stayed the night. So far B21 really has B19 beat. He drinks, had me over to his apartment on the first date and took all of his clothes off for me. Yep, I think we will keep this one.

So at around 7:30 this morning I woke up very hungover and thought I would just make my way home, but I was rewarded with morning sex. Morning sex is the best. So at around 8am I found myself doing the walk of shame to Dunkin Donuts where I stood behind a 5 year old who took 20 minutes to make a decision on a donut. I did procure some donut holes and a coffee before catching a cab back to my place.

And it doesn't end there. I promptly received a text from him. This is good because it means he's not going to play the waiting game with me. I hate having to wait 2-3 days to talk after a date. We exchanged some texts which soon turned in to full on sexting. Finally a guy with personality, sex drive and boyfriend potential. Yay me!

Mad Girl's favorite things

I have to admit that I loved it when Oprah did her favorite things show. Sadly, we won't get that this year, but I've decided to compile a list of some of my favorite things. Hopefully, they will inspire you this gift giving season.


I adore oils and vinegars and my favorite place to get both is Old Town Oil. I usually do some of my x-mas shopping here every year. This year I'm really excited to try their Chocolate Balsamic Vinegar. Imagine what this would taste like over fresh strawberries or drizzled over bacon wrapped dates?

Whenever I go to Old Town Oil I always stop at the Spice House. Everyone eats and you are bound to find something for those hard to shop for people in here. It's also a great place to shop for your foodie friends. This year I might give out their Hot Cocoa Mix to deserving boys and girls. I also think that their Chicago Neighborhood Spice boxes make a great gift for out of town guests.

Maybe you need to spice up your eggnog or hot cocoa this holiday season. Then may I suggest checking out Koval Distillery? Koval is a local boutique distillery that I just adore. Their liqueurs are great for cocktails or just as an aperitif. I think the coffee liqueur will go well in a nice warm winter cocktail.

If you are looking for something a little more relaxing then I am utterly in love with Aveda Comforting Tea. It's a little pricey, by it's oh so yummy and just what the doctor ordered after a long hard day of work.

Now for something you can't eat or drink, but is still delicious. Have you ever had a Paddy Wax candle? I think their Library Collection is the perfect gift for the bibliophile in your life. Haven't you ever wanted to have you house smell like Jane Austen or Oscar Wilde?

I always love to do some holiday shopping at MoJo Spa. The owner, Amanda, makes all of her own products and everyone here is super friendly. I think the cake soaps make a nice gift with a bit of whimsy. I am also in love with their chocolate body scub so this gift set would make my day.

My other favorite place of body products is The Body Shop. I think the peppermint footcare line makes a great gift for that special aunt, grandma or anyone who is on their feet all day. I think this shave set makes a nice gift for the man (or gay boyfriend) in your life.

I just got my first pair of City Slips. These are adorable little flats that fold up into a bag. The idea is that you can wear your fancy shoes to a party and then slip out of them and put on these comfortable flats. I think these would make a great bridesmaid gift as well.

I caught my hairdresser wearing these uber adorable glitter Toms and had to have some. I haven't bought them yet, but I think they will really jazz up my basic black wardrobe. We'll see how they hold up on the sales floor.

And if I had a special bachelor in my life I might consider getting this or this :) Bet you Oprah would never have either of these on her favorites list.

If you are looking for entertainment then I think that A Very She & Him Christmas CD and the Lion King DVD would be on the top of my must have list. However, a museum membership is another great idea. I recently joined the Art Institute and have a been a member of the Chicago History Museum for years. These make great gifts for anyone.

And for the little ones...I think this vintage Fisher Price Record Player is the way to go.

I'm going to do a whole separate blog on books so stay tuned for that!

sick day

I do not have the type of job that affords me the luxury of a sick day. Yet, here I am at home using the first sick day in 2 years. Actually, the last time I used any sick time was when I was in the hospital to have my gallbladder removed and before that I think I went home early once after I vomited at work. The worst part about being sick is the guilt of it all. Yesterday I found myself crying in my office because I really needed to not be at work, but I felt bad about leaving and going home sick. I was also slightly afraid to call my boss and let her know.

The sickness started about a week ago with a mild sore throat. I thought I could just take some cough drops and move on. Well, my sore throat got so bad that I found myself popping Ibuprofen like they were candy and barely able to run my store because I was experiencing the worst sore throat ever. I went online to Web MD and it sounded like I might have strep. Fantastic. Just what I needed right now. There was no way I could take time off to get better, my store is already down a manager and today is a big product launch. So I pushed on and sweated (literally) it out. I went from work to my bed for 3 days and finally my body and nerves just couldn't take it anymore. So, I left work early yesterday and went to the Minute Clinic. Turns out it is most likely not strep (still waiting for some more test results) but I am very sick.

The nurse told me to go home and get a lot of rest. Did this mean that I shouldn't go to work the next day? She said that I just needed to rest and curl up on the couch with some movies. She also told me that all the stress of my job was not making me better. I almost laughed in her face. I told her I was scheduled to work the next day and she said I should stay home. The guilt kicked back in. She actually wrote me a note excusing me from work. I contacted my boss letting her know I needed to be off and she just sends me one icy cold reply: ok. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Not a 'feel better' or 'don't worry the store will be okay'. This was not good.

This is the point I've gotten to with my job. I'm miserable and stressed out beyond belief, but feel that I have no options for making this better. I want to be able to take a sick day every now and then and not have it stress me out more because of all the work I'm going to have to catch up on or the fact that I'm adding stress to my management team. I give 110% when I'm at work and when I can only give 50% I feel like I'm failing. I'm unhealthy, have a weakened immune system and my home (it's a disaster) and social life are suffering. I'm just not sure that I see a light at the end of this tunnel. Just like there is not crying in baseball, there are certainly no sick days in retail.