some more about my bachelors

I just finished watching Paranormal Experience and am a little freaked out. I know I shouldn't be watching that before bed. It's not that the movie was particular gruesome or anything. I just tend to get spooked by movies like that. Earlier this afternoon I watched Walking Dead and that didn't scare me. I feel I am pretty prepared for a zombie attack. I'm sure that the likely hood of a demon possession and a zombie attack are nill, yet still I find myself needing a distraction right now. Wish I had Bachelor #10 here....

Last night Bachelor #10 came over to help relive me of some of my stress. It worked. After playtime we sat on my couch and talked while he held me. It was nice. He's a bigger guy and I feel vulnerable and girlish around him. This time he brought leather cuffs over. If you are looking for a way to spice up your love life then I suggest you try them. They were actually shockingly comfy and he was kind enough to leave them here. I also still have his riding corp and suspect that my bedroom might soon turn into sex toy shop...

Even though I tend to be dominate in my real life I like the idea of submitting in the bedroom. I'm confident, independent and can be quite aggressive because of my job. However, I'm finding that I have this other side that just wants to be dominated. At least, by the right guy. I'm selective about my partners. They have to be people I can have a conversations with and they have to make me comfortable. Never in a million years did I think I'd find myself here. I never fathomed that there was anything more than a vanilla lifestyle for me. I also never thought I'd be sharing any of this on a blog, but I suspect I'm not the only kinkster out there...maybe just the only one who's willing to talk openly about it :) These are ideas and emotions that I'm still trying to work out, but I feel like I'm starting to figure out what I need from a relationship.

I don't really think Bachelor #10 is boyfriend material, but I am growing quite fond of him and can't really explain why. I tend to get these attachments to my bachelors. I think it's a girl thing. I'm not even 100% sure if I want a boyfriend right now. I also don't like the idea of not being able to have sex with Bachelor #6 every now and then. I don't think most guys would be cool if their girlfriend kept a few guys on the side. I know I certainly couldn't handle that. Clearly, these are all issues I need to work out before I'm relationship ready. I guess if I do find the right guy then these other bachelors really won't matter -right?