Worst Date of My Life - Thus Far

This one is hot off the press. Tonight I went on the worst date ever. Even as I write I am cringing and considering taking a hot shower. Bachelor #5 was a total failure. I met this one on FetLife so I knew I'd be getting something a little less vanilla than the guys I have been dating. We exchanged a few e-mails and his pics seemed okay. He looked a lot like the type of guy I would have had a dated in high school. I figured I'd give it a chance and see what happened. I was trying to be open minded about all of this because in the end he was just going to be a potential playmate.

We agreed to meet at Clarke's, a diner near the Belmont Red Line. I arrived before him and took a seat. He arrived shortly after and this is when I should have pretended I was waiting for someone else or started to speak French. So, his looks were not quite what I was expecting. He weighed about 10 pounds and had greasy long hair. He kind of looked like Gollum with better skin. I really could have looked past that, but after about 30 seconds I knew that this was not a love connection. This guy was socialy inept. It was almost painful to have a conversation with him. How the fuck was this guy going to take control of me in the bedroom if he couldn't even manager to carry on a fucking conversation?

I wanted to run out before we even ordered. He was awkward and boring and I found myself talking a mile a minute to try and fill the void. I ordered a cup of soup in hopes that the waitress (who was sending me sympathetic looks) would poison it and then I'd have to be rushed to the hospital -thereby ending my horrible date. No such luck.

In all the date lasted about 45 painful minutes and then I pretended i was really tired and needed to get home. We got the check and I tried to run out of there with a see you later. He tried to walk with me up the block and said he'd call me (why did I give him my number?) . I tried to be nice and say that maybe I'd see him around, but OMG!!! I was so ready to run into traffic just to get away from him. I decided not to do that but i did make a bee line for Wilde where i threw back two bourbons on the rocks before making my way home.

This Mad Girl has learned her lesson. I will no longer try to be open minded and date outside my species. No dating hobbits, Ringwrathes or other creatures from Middle Earth. Also, first dates will now be drinks only. This way I can make an easy exit and at least get a healthy buzz out of the experience.

A Follow-Up On My Resolutions

Remember January and New Year's Resolutions? I thought that since the year is half over I'd post an update on my progress.

have more sex: check
wear more cute dresses: check
eat a bit healthier at home and work so i can pig out when I want to: umm...this one comes and goes, but I am doing a lot better now that it's Farmer's Market season.
have more sex: check
make more vintage cocktails: not really doing as well on this one. i fell off the wagon after my surgery.
smoke more pot: sadly, haven't done this either.
date a wide variety of the male species in hopes of finding one to club over the head and make my mate: ugh! please refer to my Dating blogs.
continue to go to my monthly waxing appointment even if no one else is looking at my hoo-ha: check - and the good part is that people are looking at my hoo-ha (see 'have more sex' resolution)
keep my nails painted: check
keep up with the blog: not so much lately...promise to get better.
have more sex: check

Mad Girl Pays Homage to Her Vegetarian Days

I have a dirty little secret - I used to be a vegetarian. It all started back in high school when I started hanging with some people who were also vegetarian. At the time I made the decision to stop eating meat it wasn't as trendy as it is now. It was a struggle with my parents to even allow me to become a vegetarian - I think it would have been easier for my family if I would have told them I was a lesbian rather then having to explain that I don't eat meat. I spend the first few years of my vegetarian life eating side dishes and explaining myself to people. Life got easier when I went away to college, but after 5 years of being a vegetarian I caved in at a Chinese buffet and ate General Tsao's Chicken -the rest is history.

I wanted to take my friend (who has recently fallen off the veggie wagon) to Green Zebra (www.greenzebrachicago.com) for a while now. The idea of a high end vegetarian restaurant is intriguing and Green Zebra did not disappoint. This is the perfect place for a special occasion or date. The atmosphere is soothing and subdued thanks to the low lighting and Zen-like interior and the food was of superb quality making it easy to overlook the lack of meat.

I started with the Cauliflower Pod de Crème which was so tasty that I could have eaten a heaping bowl of it. I’m normally not a huge dip person, but the cauliflower was the perfect mix of savory goodness. My friend and I each ordered soup. I had the French Onion and she had the Cream of Asparagus. This was probably the most disappointing course. My soup was good, but a little too much sweet onion flavor for me, especially following the intense flavor of the cauliflower. The Cream of Asparagus soup came cold and tasted like the garden. I probably would have liked it better if it was warm and maybe blended one more time, but we both agreed that the consistency was a little weird. After the soup I had these delicious dumplings with potato and garlic in them and my friend has some ridiculously tasty shitake mushroom rolls. For the main course we each had the scallops (the only meat on the menu) and they were cooked to perfection. They were served 2 on a plate (a little pricey at $17), but were sweet and tender. I was so full at this point that two turned out to be the perfect portion.

I also have to note the cocktail menu. As a cocktail enthusiast I usually like to try 3-4 different drinks from the menu. I ordered the Bees Knees made with Death’s Doors Gin and found it to be well balanced. I was quite impressed with their small, well-crafted cocktail list. What amazed me the most was when I looked at the non-alcoholic drinks and decided to order the Pink Peppercorn Thyme soda instead of getting a second cocktail- a very rare occasion indeed. This was one of the highlights of the night. It was subtly herbaceous and the peppercorn gave it a nice spicy aftertaste. I would highly recommend this and was quite impressed that were able to turn this die hard cocktail girl away from the booze for one night.

Green Zebra certainly isn’t cheap and you can expect to order 3-4 courses at $8-15 a pop. While I know this isn’t in a lot of budgets these days this is a great place to take that special vegetarian in your life.

Farmer's Market Meal #3

Today I went to the farmer's market right up the street from me (http://www.bensidounusa.com/) It's a lot smaller than Green City, but it has most of what I need. I actually dragged my ass out of bed at 9am on my day off (no small feat), but this market is only a block away so it's super convenient for me. Below is a list of purchases and I'll post recipes as I use the ingredients so make sure to check back from time to time.

pain au chololat (which I'm enjoying as I write this)

sun dried tomato foccacia
demi baguette
tilton blue cheese (this is a salty and pungent blue cheese -sort of like stilton)
zucchini
red new potatoes
peaches (which went into a very tasty fruit salad)
yellow onions

caramelized onions on sun dried tomato foccacia

This was was first attempt at caramelizing onions and it was so easy (and tasty) that I feel I need to put caramelized onions on everything. It's really easy to do. Just slice up your onion and add a little oil or butter to the pan. I also added salt, pepper and a pinch of sugar to sweeten the deal. I let them cook until they were nice and tender and sweet and then tossed the foccacia in the oven for about 15 min and the just spread the onions over the top.

Bedding Bachelor #4

Maybe I do have a little more Samantha Jones in me than I thought. As you all know I have a case of the raging hormones. I also feel very unfulfilled with the guys I've been dating. I can't seem to find that combo of sexual and intellectual stimulation. So, I did something that I NEVER thought I would do - I arranged a casual hook-up. That's right, Bachelor #4 is just for sex.

My friend recently reminded me of a time a year ago where I was absolutely appalled at a guy who wanted to do a causal hook up with me. I found it really skeezy and didn't think that I was the type to do such a thing. I considered it unsafe and not very healthy. Well, a year (and turning 30) changes a girl.

So, I chatted with Bachelor #4 for about 2 weeks and we exchanged some really hot messages and texts. We finally agreed to meet. He wanted to come straight over to my place, but I told him I would be more comfortable meeting somewhere first (wanted to make sure he wasn't and 80 year old man or an ax murderer). Turns out that he is a really nice guy and we got along really well. The weirdest thing was that when he first saw me he said 'Wow you are even more gorgeous in real life'. I'm really not that photogenic, but it was nice to see that he didn't think I was a troll. I don't think I've ever had a guy act that mesmerized by me before. He seemed genuinely interested in me and impressed with how independent I was. Usually, my fierce Independence sends guys running the other way. Not this one. So, we talked for a while and then went back to my place.

So, should I feel bad or dirty for taking this turn? He was extremely respectful of me and of course we played it safe, but there is a little part (like 15%) that makes me feel like a bit of a skank. Even though I'm not Catholic I feel like I have a bit of that guilt lingering. I even debated about posting this blog, but i figure that this is a part of who I am too and it's just one more adventure to share. I think I wold feel worse about it if I hid it because I actually really enjoyed myself.

(Oh, and what I didn't tell you was that Bachelor #4 is into BDSM and a total ass man. All new territory for me and I won't go into the details (let's just say my ass is sore), but let me tell you that I am certainly going on date #2 with him.)