Saturday, September 4, 2010

Folkstone

I was cleaning up my yahoo mailbox and came across a folder of e-mails I sent to friends and family while living in England. I've decided to brush them off and pepper them into my blog. This first one is from October 22, 2001. I've decided to use covert spy names to protect the innocent.



Boy do I have a story for you! On Saturday night Candida,
her British roommate Carmen and I went out to the pubs. We
start out at our old standby, The Jolly Sailor, where Carmen
hits on the bartender and gets looked over by some really old men.

We decided to leave the Sailor and find a new pub so we
stumble upon this pub called King William IV. We go in and
there's this guy named Kevin Iverson playing! I don't
think he's related to Nick though. Well, this place is a
dive and we are like 'drink up and get outta here.' At
that very moment Sting comes on with Roxanne so we pound
our drinks, thank Sting, and leave.

At this point Candida has to pee so she makes me go back to
the sailor with her. We go in, pee, and as we are making
our way out these two hot British men hold the door for us.
Out on the street they are talking about where to go and
then head towards Simple Simons, another great pub. Well,
us girls mobilize and follow them there. Carmen and Candida
are behind them at the bar and I go outside to find a seat.

Well, a few minutes later these boys come and sit at my
table, but I'm trying to call my roommate, Puppettina, on the
mobile so we don't talk. Candida and Carmen come out and we
start talking to these men. Well, Nick sits across from me
and introduces himself and I start to realize that he's a
bit older and not as hot as I thought, but I'm still pretty
drunk so everything is good. Nick is a ground worker from
Folkstone (which is on the Channel and about an hour away).
So we're making small talk and then he says that we should
come and visit him sometime and gives me his number. Well,
being the asshole that I am I give him mine-the whole time
thinking 'what are you doing asshole' to myself.

Nick then says something to me that I really can't
understand and I make him repeat it 20 times and then I ask
Candida what he said and she says 'He thinks your a babe'!
Now, I am many things but a babe is not one of them...
Well, I start to freak out because I'm sobering up and
realizing that these men are way older and slimier then I
thought when Jack and coke were my conscience.

At this point another bloke shows up and says his name is
Soap. Soap takes a liking to Candida and calls her a
diamond. Candida and Carmen then leave me there to talk with
Soap and Nick and all I want to do is run off. Finally,
Soap asks if we want to come back to Folkstone with them
and that they will be sure that we get home safe in the
morning! Ugggg! I think all of us girls where like no way
in hell, but Candida just made up some lie about how we had
stuff to do the next day.

So, finally these men leave and we are left giggling and
I'm cringing because Nick would not stop calling me a babe
and that just made me really uncomfortable. He hasn't
called me yet and hope to god he doesn't because I'd die.

There is also a very important moral to the story: You
can't expect to meet decent men at the pubs. Trust me on
this. From now on I go to pubs to have fun and meet new
people, but not to find Mr. Right.


Love
MadGirl

P.S: I need your address and phone number. I can call you
for super cheap so that means you'll be the lucky recipient
of a drunken call from a pub one night!



=====
University of Kent
1 Ellenden Court, Park Wood
CT2 7SH Canterbury, England


Side note to the e-mail: Candida is still convinced that Soap looked like Thom York from Radiohead. He did not. Give a girl enough Jack and Coke and any loser is going to look like George Clooney.

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