Mad Girl tries to unsuck her life

I have to admit that I'm still a little sore about B10. I really just want this awful sinking feeling to go away. I try very hard not to think about him, but it's no use. I really hate being a girl about all of this. I can't believe that I am pining over a boy like some kind of love sick teenaged girl. Ugh!

However, the recent wounded heart and job suckiness has made me re-examine my life and start to make some changes. I think it's about time that I took matters into my own hands and started to unsuck things. Right now there are 3 things that are bringing me down.

• My job is has it's highs and lows, but the lows are far outweighing the highs lately. Plus, I'm having this whole 'what do I want to be when I grow up' crisis.
• Money. I've got credit card bills to pay so I just cant up and quit my job. I need to find something that pays close to what I'm making now. Either that or move to a shitty neighborhood, rent a studio and live off ramen...not an option.
• On top of all of that I'm getting zero lovin. I haven't had sex in months, I'm horny as hell and the only boy I can think about is B10. Frustration times 10.

So I've decided to start being strategic about all of this because that's what I do best. I really love the idea of being a bartender. I know it's not really a career that most aspire to, but I think I might like that job. So, I started checking around to see what bartenders make. I figure that if I can pull in $1000 a week in tips I can make ends meet. I'm going to check out bartending schools and maybe do that and get a job bartending a few nights a week. If it works out for me I can quit my job. Eventually I'd like to become a certified cicerone (which is a beer sommelier) and for my long term goal I'd love to own my own bar. I've decided that I also like museusms so if I can swing the bartending gig I can also find time to volunteer and get my foot in the door. Who knows, this may just be the career change I need. I'm going to just take the next logical step with each thing and hope it works.

Now, all of this could just be my exhausted brain talking. I just got off an overnight at work and haven't slept in almost 24 hours. I could very well wake up later today and decides that this isn't such a great plan. One thing I do know...my heart is still tender and that awful feeling is just not going away.